What impressions have my kids made

I sometimes wonder what impressions my boys have made on other adults. Throughout the years I have been complimented on them. I smile proudly. But, that was when they were younger. Now they are teenagers. What do impressions have they left now? Well, I found out today.

Our little high school band has been invited to represent the State of Florida in the 4th of July Parade in Washington DC. Today they have a car wash to help raise money. Daredevil and Chowhound grabbed signs and headed towards the road. I wanted to run and hide when I heard the Band Director yell at them, "Don't scare AWAY the customers!" Ack. That's not good.

Not a Shamrock

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY

In observance of St. Patrick's Day, I wanted to wear green to work today. Actually, I just didn't want to get pinched. I work in a predominantly redneck male environment where harass is still interpreted as two words, "HER ASS" and I didn't want to give them any excuses.

As I was exploring my wardrobe for green articles this morning, I remembered I had a green pin in my jewelry box. Now, folks, you have to realize that I am not a jewelry person. I have a jewelry box but it does not contain the typical things. It is more a conglomeration of things I have collected through the years.

Just to give you an idea, some of the contents include:
*a pin that says "I can handle any crisis I'M A MOM"
*a gold Pokemon card
*a key to a storage locker on Catalina Island, CA
*a Swiss army knife
*2 fortune cookie fortunes
*a picture of a rose torn out of the newspaper

There are a bunch of other things too. Some fake pearls, a few pieces of costume jewelry. I don't know where some of the things came from. I do not remember where I got the "Shamrock" pin or even when. I just know that I remember seeing this green pin in my collection over the years. I can't remember ever wearing it before. But, since it was St. Patty's Day, I figured it would be cute to wear it to work sort of like warding off vampires with a cross or whatever you are supposed to use.

Anyway, I pull it out and start to put it on. Suddenly, it dawns on me. OMG this is not a Shamrock! A Shamrock only has three leaves. Where in the hell, when and why did I acquire this.



Needless to say, I did not wear it to work.

Friday Flashback

Okay, Mom, I'll tell my stories. It'll be a Flashback Friday today.

Being around VW's boys sure makes memories come pouring back. Just seeing the two car seats in her van made me smile. Traveling with toddlers is always an adventure. And it is even more so if they are within touching distance of each other. My three boys are within 4 years of each other which meant that someone could always touch someone else since the backseat was wall-to-wall kid carriers.

It's a mother's nightmare trying to referee while driving. Well, this one particular day, Daredevil and Improviser were snacking on Happy Meals in the backseat. Suddenly, Daredevil, I think he was 3 at the time, started crying and screaming. The mother's inquiry revealed he had a french fry up his nose. Stomping Brakes, gravel grinding, I pull off the road. Yep. It was way up there. Not a scrap hanging out. I'm glad he wasn't laughing and snorting. We would have needed surgery to get the sucker out.

"How did you get a french fry up your nose?"

Teary eyed, he replied "Improviser did it!"

"Why did you put a french fry up your brother's nose?"

Improviser replied matter of factly, "'cause he tried to put one in my ear."

Toddler justification. It made perfect sense to him.

Okay, what now?! Plan A. Grab something to use as a snot rag. Blow. Nope. Nothing.

Plan B. Stifling my laughter I drove to my mother's house to borrow a pair of tweezers. It was way up there. Luckily, this didn't require an emergency room trip. The extrication was simple and quick. And hilarious. Did I mention it was way up his nose?My mother still laughs about this. I was soooooooo glad I did not have to make a trip to the emergency room for this. It was bad enough I had already recently taken his brother in to get a rock out of his ear. But, that's another story.

Great Marketing

Ad agencies pay people good money to sucker people in. Someone earned their money on me. Because twice this week I have bought terrible products because of the packaging.

Episode #1.

This is my skin.



Yep, it's as dry as mud. Especially in the winter. Easy solution. Lotion. There are a gazillion lotions on the shelves. I just grab one that looks great. I'm a sucker for anything that resembles summer and beaches. Neutrogena Summer Glow daily moisturizer. You think I would have picked up on G.L.O.W. No not me. I concentrated on the daily moisturizer part. It was a real blonde moment.

It's my calves and ankles that are the driest. So, I just douse them down and rub the excess on my forearms for good measure.

Yesterday, I notice my palms look funny. Orange even. I sprint to the bathroom and inspect the lotion closer. Self-tanning. OMG. I look at my legs. I'm tan from the knees to the ankles. It's worse than a farmer's tan. It's a mailman's tan. Good thing it's not shorts time yet. It's capris for now. I sure hope it fades as fast as a real tan.

Episode #2

Heed my warning. I was the guinea pig.

If you are tempted to buy Krusteaz Mango Bars reach for something else.

My boys love Mangos. The picture on the box looked good. I was in a sweets mood. So, I was suckered in.

First warning: It didn't smell good when I was mixing it up. Ignore warning #1.

Second warning: It didn't smell good while baking. I should have clued in here. Ignore warning #2.

Finally, it's done. Taste test time. Yuck. It taste like dirty socks smell. I gagged. So, disgusting. Maybe glitter and raisins would have made them tolerable. But, I don't think so.

You have warned.

Mini Blog Meet

Too tired to blog last night. Thoughts and fingers would not cooperate. But, what a wonderful weekend! It was full and busy and refreshing. I hated to return to reality but one can't live in vacation/fantasy land forever.

I visited with my Blog Mother and longtime friend, VWBug, not once but twice. Her sons, Tater and Tot are as adorable in person as they appear on her blog. I got hugs, kisses and pictures. They are two too sweet boys. Also, Happy Dog is very happy, very friendly and seemed to like me very much. His nose is right at the wrong height. He kept goosing my butt with his nose. Nothing like trying to visit while holding a miniature horse at bay. We had a fantastic visit reminiscing and catching up.

On the return trip, we had a mini blog meet. Three generations of bloggers together. I was excited. I finally met my Blog Grandmother, Boudicca. I've know VW since Jr. High School, but even though Bou and I briefly went to the same High School, this was the first time we met. She is a beautiful woman. I think what struck me most about her was the confidence and energy she exudes. I am envious of that. So now I can add "Bloggers I have met" to my sidebar.

I was disappointed to learn that I missed meeting That 1 Guy by only a few hours. Maybe on his next world tour.

Today is.....

P A N I C Day!

Ok. Ok. I'll agree with that. I can panic.

13 Reasons to Panic today

1. I'm leaving for my trip in the morning and I'm not packed.

2. I still have to pick up the rental car tonight.

3. I colored my hair last night and it looks funky. It looks kinda orange to me. That will teach me to go off on a whim and color my hair right before I see my Sweetie.

4. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser (19) and Daredevil (18) for the weekend. Stupid, Stupid, Mom. You think I would have learned my lesson when Improviser got the Explorer stolen.

5. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

6. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

7. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

8. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

9. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

10. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

11. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

12. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

13. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

Hear that sound. That's me beating my head against the wall. When will I learn. Anyone have any Zanax? Panic attack city today.

HAVE YOU HAD YOUR PANIC ATTACK TODAY?

Heading South

I headed for South Florida tomorrow. First, I'm going to stop off and have PB&J with Tater, Tot and my Blog Mom, VWBug. I am so excited. This will be the first time I have gotten to visit with the precious boys. They were asleep the last time I dropped by. Contrary to what VWBug says, they do sleep. Or at least that's what I was told. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't even her house. All the lights were off and we had to whisper. And whispering is not something I am very good at. (Just poking fun at her). Anyways, I am really excited about my visit with her and the boys.

Then, I am headed even further South to spend some time with my Sweetie. It's been since Christmas since I have seen him and I can't wait.

The flip side of the coin is that I am, stupidly, once again leaving my house and car in the possession of Improviser and Daredevil. I have been promised that they will behave. Yeah, right. Like I believe that one. But, in my little world, I will. Otherwise, I will be a nervous wreck all weekend and won't get to enjoy myself. Yeah, right. And I'll let them think that.

Well, time to finish packing. Have a great weekend and I'll see you folks Tuesday.

Battle of the Sexes Ammunition

My boys are evidently taking the battle of the sexes seriously. They are armed and ready to fight. I found this in the bathroom this morning.



They have discovered the ultimate weapons in the war with women.



Deodorant. Shaving cream. Razors. Toothbrush. (The toothpaste was on the counter). Nothing like a girl to get a boy to take a shower and start caring about his appearance.

Yeah. Gone are the days when I have to coax them to take a shower and then ask specific follow up questions. Did you use soap and water? Did you wash your hair? Did you brush your teeth? Did you use toothpaste?

I'm not sure where they got their unique toiletry kit. I'm not sure if I want to know. But, I guarantee, I will inspect their luggage the next time we fly. I can see this show up during a security check at the airport. We would make national headlines. Some high strung security cop would probably shoot us.

Today is.....

HUG A GI DAY!

My source states:

Today is a day that we all can embrace. It's "Hug a GI Day". Give a great big hug to any and all GIs you see today. The men and women in our armed forces deserve our thanks and appreciation.

GI's perform an invaluable service to our country. They risk their lives for our freedom, and to keep us safe. A simple hug is a small thanks for this vital service to our country.

So here is a BIG HUG in appreciation to anyone who has served our country to defend my freedoms.

I would be cautious of just going up and hugging anyone in uniform without explaining why. This might cause some ingratitude at first.

I couldn't find anything on the origin of "Hug a GI Day", but I suspect it was a pick up line originally. Seems like a good way from a young GI to meet some pretty innocent little thing.

Today is.....

National Anthem Day

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?


On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

________________________

March 3, 1931, the "Star Spangled Banner" was officially declared The United States' National Anthem by an act of Congress.

The Star Spangled Banner was originally only a poem. However, there was a very popular tune of the time which had the same form and metre, ironically, this was the tune of a British drinking song. When the handbills were printed, they bore the name of this tune to which the poem should be sung - Anacreon in Heaven.

Today is.....

Old Stuff Day.

There is no explanation for this day and it is left wide open for interpretation. Go here for the complete list of holidays.

What is your favorite old stuff?

Compliment?

Compliments from teenage boys to their mother are rare events and usually masked with sarcasm. So, I was taken aback by the conversation with Chowhound tonight.

Chowhound peering over my shoulder looking at the rice dish I was cooking. "That looks like you went bluuuuuegh". The line was complete with perfect theatrical embellishment. My drama king.

Me: "Gee, thanks"

Chowhound: "I like the way you cook. It's different."

I raise my eyebrows inquisitively. He continues, "You don't cook like most people. You don't use a cookbook or anything. You just throw stuff together. And most of the time it turns out good."

His name is Chowhound. He eats everything. I'm not rushing to Betty Crocker with my recipes.

Today is.....

National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day.





If you pig out on peanut butter does this count for celebrating both?

But, I'm serious today is National Pig Day. If you forgot to send a card don't despair. You can find some here.

There have been some pretty famous pigs. How many can you name? And I'm not including politicians here.

There's Miss Piggy. Babe. Wilbur. And of course, Porky Pig. You can cheat and go check out some of these sites.

I still haven't quite figured out the connection between pigs and peanut butter. But, today is also Peanut Butter Lover's Day.

So, pig out on peanut butter cups and have a wonderful day!

How to bug your children....

When they go in their room to play video games, wait a few minutes and then yell,

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come Watch this!"

How long can you hold it in?

When they groan and go back to their room give them a few minutes and yell,

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come watch this!"

Beer lady.

They will snicker and disappear into the video zone again. Wait a few minutes and yell,

Yep, you guessed it. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come watch this".

Who needs disney?

See, it's fun having teenagers. They're are all kinds of ways to amuse your self and annoy them at the same time.

But, by now, they are shuffling their feet and whining. So you have to get creative.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come Watch this!" (The creative part is the fact that you're lying).

Funny Father.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, last one."

Fake Waterbed.

Got brain draino?

Brain draino needed. All my ideas are stuck and the plunger is not working.

Life without a Song

My self-esteem has taken another hit. It was bad enough when I took the superhero quiz it came up with nothing. Twice. Yes, I took it twice and twice it produced no results. I have no superhero qualities. Cat Woman, Super Girl, Wonderwoman, they can all relax I am no threat.

Now in addition to having no great qualities, I don't even have a life song. This seemed simple enough for an ordinary person to do. No tall buildings to leap, no walls to climb, just plug in the date of your 18th birthday, click on the UK or USA flag and based on billboard's hits it tells you the #1 song at that time. I punch in the date, click the USA flag and wait in anticipation. It was kind of exciting in a "I got no life so this is my big thrill" kind of way. Until it stuck it's tongue out with "Information is not available". WTF! I have no theme song. No sound track for my life. I'm living in the silent film era. No cool song to strut down the street by. Seeing as how I won't be battling bad guys I won't need background music. But, wait, there is still a chance. So, I resort to clicking on the British Flag. Now it retorts with "Do you really want to hurt me?" (Culture Club) ! Yep. This is it. This has been my theme song. Now my life makes sense.

Other notable songs:

The #1 song on the day I was born was "Baby Love" by the Supremes.
Improviser's life song "Burn" (Usher).... BD song-Greatest Love of All (Whitney Houston)
Daredevil's life song Gold Digger (Kane West).... BD song-Didn't We Almost Have it All (Whitney Houston)
Chowhound bd song Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

So, what is your theme song?

Egg Snot Cures

I'm no longer feeling like egg snot. Thanks to a $45 bottle of cough syrup. Holy Crap. Now I can't even feel my head, lungs, etc. Whoo Hoo! The modern cure for bronchitis. I was skeptical when he said to take one teaspoon at bedtime once a day. This stuff was thicker than egg snot. But, oh does it work. Bedtime came at Noon today. By my calendar we're on day two now and it's almost bedtime again.

This is how I feel today.

Like Egg Snot.

Update on Concerned

Apparently, I wasn't the only person who called the Resource Officer at the school and asked him to check on the boy I mentioned previously. Daredevil told me last night that the Officer called the girl's mother. He said the boy was ok and in a safe place and that he couldn't go into further details. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I feel better that someone checked on him.

Concerned

I feel like I have let a child down and I haven't and I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. (Wouldn't my English teacher love that sentence!)

Let me explain. Hopefully, I'm calm enough now to write this without losing my mind. Yep. You guessed it. This post is compliments of Daredevil. He is my mother's revenge. I know she dances around singing, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I told you so. Paybacks. Paybacks!", everytime I call her and say, "Guess what Daredevil did?"

Tuesday morning.

Ring. Ring.

Me: "Hello."

Stranger's voice: "Do you live at *****? This is Officer *****. I am sitting in front of your house. There are some children in there and they won't come out."

At first, I thought maybe it was a Valentine's prank, early April Fool's joke. Something. I'm quite into denial and like to live in that world sometimes. Reality hoovers.

I started asking him for credentials, contacts and how I could verify who he was. This annoyed him. I could hear him rolling his eyes. Yes, I verified his identity. There are too many nuts out there to trust everyone. I was suspicious and cautious because he asked if I had caller id and just wanted me to call my house and tell the kids to come out.

It seems my neighbors called the school and reported truants. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. (I was unhappy about the situation, not my neighbors. Everyone should have neighbors that care.) After the second conversation with the Officer, I huffed out a "I'll be back" to my boss and sped home daring another officer to pull me over. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight. I roared into the house ordering children OUT! They tucked their tails and hurried to the safety of the officer. I told the officer I would handle my own child. But, that's another story.

This is the part that bothers me. Two of the kids that were caught skipping have been forbidden by their parents to see each other. They were both suspended from school for the rest of the week because they left campus. Daredevil told me tonight that when the boy's father found out he skipped school with the girl he got physically violent with him. "Throwing him into doors and walls" is what I was told. I know nothing about this kid or his father. I do not know how valid the information is. But, I do not believe that any child should ever be touched in anger.

I grew up in a violent household and it still scares the hell out of me. I am worried this child was hurt. I feel guilty and responsible. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I plan to call the school tomorrow and request the officer visit the child's home to check on him. I don't know if he will. But, I feel I need to do something. The thought of a child being hurt hits me to the soul. I don't know what else to do.