Wednesday, September 28, 2005

But the dead deer with the IV made it weird

Did your paper have this story?

Cops in North Carolina thought it was odd enough a Jacksonville man was driving
an ambulance reported stolen hours earlier.
Odder still was that he was wearing a makeshift doctor's uniform consisting of a stethoscope, a pager-like gadget and latex gloves stuffed in his back pocket.
But then things started getting really strange when they saw a dead deer, fully stretched out and wedged in the back. Some said there was an intravenous line attached to the animal and there was evidence a defibrillator had been used.

Mental patient or someone from PETA? Oh, I forgot. There isn't a difference. Maybe he was the guy who responded to the 911 call in this audio clip I heard years ago. Supposedly, this guy calls 911 to report he had hit a deer and then put it in his car thinking it was dead. Then the deer revives and bites him on the neck. Then a dog comes along and tries to get the deer. It's funny. Don't know if it is true and don't really care. It is just hilarious to listen too.

You don't really need to make things up. People do the strangest things.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Carnival of Recipes entry?

Chowhound has a new sandwich recipe.

6 slices bread
globs and globs of peanut butter
1/2 jar of marshmallow creme

*makes 3 sandwiches

He made this for BREAKFAST this morning. Yuck. I DID NOT buy the marshmallow creme. Either he or Daredevil did. I didn't even know it was in the house until I walked in the kitchen this morning and caught him making it.

I sure am glad he is into running. Otherwise, this child would weigh 600 lbs.

I accepted the job!

I stood on my soapbox and gave justification for the salary I felt I should be paid. And, it was accepted! Yeah, me! I was also reassured that there would be OT available in my new position. I feel confident in my decision now. My company is booting out the contractors and we are taking over all the contracts and dispatching of the trucks and railcars. We are talking about shipping over 600,000 tons of product per year. I knew the contractors would be training us some. What I didn't know was that the other lady and I get to set up the new system. She called me today and informed me that we have to order all our office equipment before we can even start our job. I'm talking from desks to chairs to pencils, maps, computers everything. I guess they have more confidence in me than I realized if they trust me to take this position. I'm excited now. We will have to go to Charlotte for training in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to that.

Okay, I can sigh now, relax, wring out my sponge of self-absorption and get back to humorous blogging.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Second guessing myself

I'm driving myself nuts trying to decide whether or not to accept the new position at work. I have to let them know tomorrow. I was all excited at first and had no doubts, but as time passed I began to second guess myself (nasty, terrible habit) and wonder if I am making a wise decision. Money wise, it is more per hour. Of course, it was even more yesterday, but then today, they announced the annual pay increases. So now it is 3/4 of what it was, go figure. I thought about negotiating, but I suck at it.(Put this in my list of things to work on.) There is no guarantee of OT. I depend on OT for my playing money. And, I like to travel and play. I keep weighing the pros and cons and just end up driving myself nuts. It is a faith issue vs money issue. Do I have faith that this is what I am supposed to do? Take chances, risks. You don't get any where with out taking a risk. Of course, by staying I will be taking a risk too. I think this is best summed up by a quote from Ashleigh Brilliant's Pot Shots, "I can do anything I decide to do~ The only thing I can't do is make decisions." I don't think I am going to sleep worth a damn tonight.

Eggby Conclusion

Today concluded Daredevil's parent experience. This is the final summery of his journal:

This is the part where I have summarize the experiences I had caring for the egg/child. I’m supposed say that taking care of this child made me feel like a parent and the feelings that come with being a parent, but I’m not. The only thing that this project showed me is that if I had a child, he/she would know my parents more he/she would know me. My parents babysat my egg everyday because of band, work, or both. But I will say that I was worried the first day because I didn’t want to lose any points. That was change when I got home after work when I found out that Dad's girlfriend let the cats play with my egg and broke and the points were taken off my final grade. After you said for us to go home and boil another egg or it will stink I did just that. And after that I stopped caring because I knew if it did break again you wouldn’t take off any more points and I could just boil another egg. In my opinion, this project was pretty point less if you’re trying to learn the difficulties of being a teen parent.

I think he learned more than he realized. He makes that clear by his statment that his child would know his grandparents more than his father. I also realized that, he never asked me to babysit. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. I was surprised that he took the time to type the journal. He said, he thinks it is because of the influence of his new girlfriend. I like her already and I haven't even met her.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I'm Hobbes

Which Calvin and Hobbes character are you?

You're HOBBES! My personal favorite. You like to
eat, sleep, and live a good life. Me too.

Which CALVIN & HOBBES character YOU?

How well do you know the Alphabet

Want to learn more about the alphabet? Well, even if you don't, you should go check this out. This is an interesting Quiz. I didn't do very well, but I also didn't try very hard. Brain Strain. I try to avoid it on the weekends. What surprised me is that 3 correct answers is average. At least I am still average with luck. How did you score?

Friday, September 23, 2005

Eggscellant Parenting

Daredevil is a father, sort of. He has a beautiful baby girl EGG. Yes, egg. Chicken egg. Which came first the teenager or the egg? And we know it is a girl because her chromosomes are written on her bottom. Appropriate place, I guess. Let me eggsplain. It seems that in an attempt to teach responsibility, he has to take care of a hard boiled egg/child for a week and keep a journal about how it interferes with his life.

Day 1: He had 20 points deducted. The cats decided to play with her and she got cracked (His dad's girlfriend was babysitting the egg/child while he was at work). I told him he should have drawn stitches on her and and wrote down that accidents happen but he took her to the eggmergency room.

So, the teacher told him and the other 10 -15 students whose eggs cracked, they should boil a new child since that one would soon start stinking. Guess the school only provides one child per student. Good thing they're cheaper by the dozen.

What does he do with his injured child? First, he tortures her with a pin and pokes holes in her. Guess she needed her immunizations and tetanus shot. Then, he and some of the boys played with her. Aw, that should make her feel better. Right? They used the child for a hackey sack. What goes through these teenage brains? Kick. Splat. LOL. Kick. Splat. Splat. OMG. LOL.

I don't think this is eggactly what the teacher had in mind. For some reason, I don't think he is taking this eggsignment seriously. He doesn't even know where he left his new daughter. He said, "she might be at my Dads....or in my locker....or I could have left her at school on the picnic table." Sure hope this doesn't reflect his future parenting skills. I'm not eggspecting a good grade on this eggsignment.

So, what how does an egg/child interfere with your life:

Day 1: Resist the urge to eat child. But, I've heard some mothers eat their young. Throw away Cookbook: 101 ways to prepare eggs.

Day 2: Put off grocery shopping. Can't let her see relatives in morgue.

Day 3: Read bedtime story. Green eggs and ham. Nope...throw book on floor. (Don't leave it there you will get a time out. Just ask VWBug of One Happy Dog Speaks.)

Day 4: Take her to chicken house to find natural mother. Eggads. Stinks. EWWWWW. Leave her to do her own search.

Day 5: Take 11 siblings out of refrigerator. Omelet anyone?!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

For All Moms

This is for anyone that stays at home all day with small children. And for the people who think they just do nothing all day. Full time stay at home moms work their butts off. This also includes the wonderful people who watch our children for those of us who work. It is a hard job. My hat is off to you.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Daredevil is 18 today

Happy Birthday to my Daredevil.

I knew from the first ultrasound that this child was going to be a handful. He had one hand behind his head, the other holding, uh....well you get the picture. Yes, evidently boys are aware of IT from the beginning. Then, I got the picture they take in the hospital.

Notice his right hand. Looks like he is shooting a bird. He loves this picture and points that out to everyone.

He was always testing limits and still does. He held a crayon inches from the wall and dared me, "I have a crayon, I'm going to write on the wall." He would be all dressed up and put the tip of his shoe in a puddle and look me in the eye. Daring me. No, he didn't write on the wall, that time. I snatched it from him and beat his butt. Probably for the millionth time. But, yes he turned and ran straight through the puddle. And got his butt beat for that too. It never did any good. He has always had a smile that would melt your heart while you were ready to strangle him. He still has that charm.

He is fearless. I have spent more time in the emergency room with him than both the other boys combined. He has broken his collarbone 6 or 7 times. I lost count. He has had stitches and casts. I took him to the emergency room about a half a dozen times in one year. I just knew they were going to call HRS. One of the times was only 2 weeks apart. An injury never slowed him down. I think it just encouraged him.

He is only 16 months younger than Improviser. But, he learned early on how to handle that difference.

Here he is trying to get a cupcake from Improviser.

He has developed into a wonderful young man and I am very proud of him.


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Hanging up my hardhat

After 8 years of operating a front end loader (Cat 980) and doing maintenance, I'm turning over my keys, hanging up my hardhat and going back in the office. I am taking a position, within the same company, as a shipping coordinator. I think it will be a great opportunity and I am capable of doing it. But, I am scared to death. I have enjoyed operating the equipment, working on it, and getting dirty and grimy. I love being outdoors. I don't even mind the weather. I have learned a great deal in these last eight years. So many things that I was "taught" in school became clear once I had the hands on experience. But, life is about change and risk. And, this will give me an opportunity to learn another aspect of the business. I love learning so I am looking forward to it. It's just change is always scary.

New York Red Neck Wedding Brawl

Here's a wedding to remember. All you have to do is read the arrest report. And, there won't be any pictures except mug shots. It seems that two wedding parties got into a brawl at the Crown Plaza Hotel in White Plains, NY, when a person from one wedding party thought the bestman of the other party was a photographer who absconded from their wedding. Eleven people were arrested. All from Mr. Fortunato's wedding party. They weren't very fortunate, were they. The police spokesman said, "We believe the event may have been alcohol-driven." You think. I would hate to think they would have acted like this sober.

Well, Harvey. You wanted to know
how to liven up a wedding. I don't know if their ceremony was as exciting, but the reception certainly was a knock down and drag out. I wonder what the anniversaries will be like, if there are any.

Monday, September 19, 2005

T' Scallywag's Shoes

Arrrrrrrrr! Had to revise me post for today. Missed the announcement of Talk like a Pirate Day. But, this is a good day t' make a scallywag walk t' plank. T' scallywag be Chowhound. He insists o' wearin' these shoes. No, your eaye do not deceive you. Aye, that be duct tape. He has new sandals. He won't wear them. He says these make him popular. Translate, "These get me attention."

I learned early on to let them be individuals. But, when we go out in public. I will not walk with him. If he comes near me, I ask real loud, "WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER?". Of course, that just makes him hug me in public, YUCK (See previous post on Teenagers!) Well, I figure if this is the most defiant he gets, I got off easy. I think he does it just to embarrass me. Although, I may have found a way to get back at him. He looked mortified when I started taking pictures and he found out I was posting them. I have a sign that says, "I smile because you are my son, I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it." Mom always comes out the winner of the embarrassment contest. Why? Because, I'm the mom. Besides, I have naked baby pictures I can post. Shiver me Timbers, I still think de scallywag should walk t' plank.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Obituary for Mr. Sense

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman, who failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

(Author Unknown)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

We Won!

Yeah! Our football team won. That means we are 3-1 so far. But, it also means we have already beat last year's record. Yes, that's right. Our team sucks. We only won two games last year. That is why my boys do not play football. The fact that they are skinny little runts is beside the point.

My boys are band geeks instead (and yes, I have some "one time at band camp" stories). But, really, really cool ones (kids and stories). Daredevil plays the bass drum. That was the only instrument he wanted to play. Although, he was made to start out on the symbols first. Luckily, he advanced from there. But I worry because he came home and told me, "you only have to be 10% smarter than the instrument you play." So now instead of banging two metal lids together, he beats on a pot with sticks. It's a drummer thing, absolutely nobody understands. So much for intelligence. Good thing he is handsome. Chowhound, on the other hand, does percussion keyboard during marching season. During the spring, he is in concert and jazz band. He plays the tenor sax, contra bass clarinet, and several other instruments. He is musically talented. They don't get it from me that's for sure.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Hurricane Katrina Stories

My sisters and I have been trying to track down information on our stepfather. We have been unable to get in touch with his wife since Hurricane Katrina struck. The last we knew he was in a VA Hospital in Biloxi (He suffers from Alzheimers). But, we were not sure which facility he was in. My sisters have been making phone calls and I have been scouring websites trying to find out anything. Tonight, I found some information dated Sept. 12 which states he is in East Biloxi at a residence, but we don't have an address. But, at least we know he is ok. This gives us some relief while we continue to get in touch with his wife.

While I was searching the VA's website, I found where they have been posting some of the
VA employees stories. There is one story entitled Saving a Child. It is about three VA workers in Biloxi finding a 5 year old little boy right after the Hurricane. He had been in the apartment complex that was destroyed. It is a very heart touching story (one of the thousands that came out of this catastrophe). But, the part of the story that got to me said,

"He told us his momma had given him a pop tart and told him to go upstairs. All through his ordeal, the boy had clutched that wet pop tart. He didn't want to let go. "

Think about it. He was in a building that was blown apart. Through all the winds in excess of 100mph, pelting rain, the debris and everything else, he held onto that poptart. This was his last piece of security from his mother and that is what he held onto. I can't even imagine the terror he felt. The VA workers went out then and tried to find the boy's family, but to no avail. Later, they found the boy's mother and brother at a hospital, but unfortunately his father and grandmother were killed.

It just shows you how important the little things are. Especially to children. And for every story you hear about the terrible behavior a few have shown, remember, there are thousands of heroic stories to be told. They just don't make the primetime. Most people are good at heart and it is sad that the good that comes from this catastrophe does not sell as many papers as the crimes.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Taking out Mexicans

Daredevil poses this question:

It is illegal to help a Mexican (or any other illegal person) into the United States. Is it illegal to help him go back to Mexico? I've never really pondered the situation before. I know you are a bunch of smart people. Is it? And who would you get in more trouble with; the US for taking him out or Mexico for bringing him back?

Yes, these are conversations that come up at my house.

"American Girl"

"...She's trying to make it in her Daddy's world...mow the grass, fix the sink isn't really hard if you get paid...." The sink I fixed. But, I need a goat because the lawn mower is broken. Now, when we are setting record highs here, my AC dies. Sometimes it really sucks being a single mom, no one to go to and say, "Honey, fix this". I'm capable and I will get it all fixed. It's just frustrating. It is always something. So, if you don't hear from me anymore you will know I melted.

**Yeah! I fixed the AC. Now I'm off to tackle the lawnmower.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It's my BlogGreatGrandPappy's Birthday

Happy Birthday Harvey! It's a little strange that your (blog) daughter Bou, granddaughter VW Bug, and greatgranddaughter (me) are all older than you. Proving that anything is possible in cyberspace.

Just in time for your birthday I received this:

The New Bra!!

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.

Or there is always this new bra.

Happy Birthday.

*I had a written a lot more originally, but I came back to put in a link to your site and somehow wiped out half the post. Blogging so much fun!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Logical Geometry

Homework time. This is always an interesting time at my house. Sometimes I can help them; sometimes I can't. Chowhound is in 10th grade. He is taking geometry. Last night he had this problem:

Consider the following statements: All deer like lettuce. Gail likes lettuce.

a) Do these two statements imply that Gail is a deer? Why or Why not?
b) Suppose the second statement said, "Gail is a deer." What, if anything, could you conclude?

Why did they stick a logic question in the Geometry homework? I didn't have Logic until College. And, if I hadn't of had it, I would have been shaking my head too going WTF. Needless to say, this question made for interesting conversation. His conclusion....if Gail thought she was a deer, she was mental and needed some serious help.

Monday, September 12, 2005

My Grandmother's Stories

I am going to be doing a weekly post on My Grandmother's Stories. My Grandma Edie is an awesome woman at 91. She has lived a wealth of life. I love her stories and I want to write them down so they will never be forgotten. She has lived all of her life in central PA. She was the tenth of 14 children. She has been widowed twice. Raised my mother, her only child. Worked in factories and supported her family because my Grandfather Paul (her first husband) was stricken with MS and then died when my mother was 20. She is an incredible woman with a strong will which has shocked people on more than one occasion since she is only about 4'10" (or less). And always a lady, through and through. She told me once that she didn't have much to leave me. When I said all I wanted were her stories, she said, "Oh, I have plenty of those."

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Teenagers!!! Ack!

The Daredevil has a job. and money. This means he can spend his money on what he wants, right? He bought 2 Stephen Lynch CDs. He is a singing comedian. We watched him on Comedy Central. But, I did not know he was going to buy these. I found out when I walked in the kitchen and heard " caught me spankin' it. It's no use denying it. I was really crankin' it." The CD is actually really funny, but these are my children bringing this home. It's that testosterone element again. So, I listened to the rest of that song. It did make me reconsider something though. One part said, "...I completely understand if you never want to hug again or shake my hand." Ugh! HE SAW ME TYPING THIS, NOW HE IS PLAYING IT AGAIN! Teenagers!!!!!!! I am going to lose me mind. Now he is dancing. Ewwww, he just hugged me.

Daredevil and Improviser

This is Daredevil and Improviser with their Uncle's Dog. Notice Improviser's expression. Apparently, the dog's breath stinks. Daredevil has that sweet, innocent look that will fool you. What a handful.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Don't let a teenager drive your car

I am about to lose my mind. I let the Improviser use my car. He just called and said, "You know how you are always telling me to lock the car...." Well, now he is trying to improvise a way to open it while the keys are inside. *Screams* I know that this doesn't seem like a big deal. But, this car is the replacement of the one he had stolen from him back in April. He was trying to do a good deed and give someone a ride. Mistake. They stole the car from him. Luckily, he wasn't harmed and he learned a valuable lesson. But, ever since, I have had a hard time letting him use my car. So, I reluctantly let him use it tonight to go to a going away party for his best friend who leaves for bootcamp tomorrow. And what does he do, he locks the keys in it. This poor child. It seems that everytime he tries to do something, something goes wrong. He has a heart of gold and tries really, really hard. But, it seems the harder he tries, the more that things go wrong. He felt bad enough when my Explorer was stolen. He had to call me at 11:30 on the first night of my vacation in the Bahamas to tell me. Plus, he had finally convinced his 2 brothers to let him trade in the PS2 for an Xbox. He never made it home with it. His brothers gave him hell. Patience Mom, patience. I can't go help him because I DON'T HAVE MY CAR. and I don't have a spare key. Mom gets lashes for that. I haven't had a spare made yet.----He just called back. They got into the car. He said, "It looked real good, we were all standing around with flashlights and a slimjim." He said he is going to stop at Wally World on the way home and have a key made. Gotta love him.

Overheard at Work

Sometimes I can't believe the things I hear. This was an actual conversation at work the other day:

1st guy: "Hey, Goofy"

2nd guy: "I dun shed that name once. Don't call me that."

1st guy: "What do you want me to call you?"

2nd guy: "Call me, me...uh.....uh, I don't know what you call dem guys but call me one of those."

What do you say in a situation like that? I kept my mouth shut but idiot rolled around in my brain. I know that sounds terrible. But, I heard once that it is best to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt.

Other things I have overheard at work:

"Them living wills is better than them wrote down ones."

and the best one....

from a clerk filing papers, "were there 30 or 31 days in February last year?"

I swear, I am not making this stuff up. (I have done and said my share of stupid things too. But, I don't have to tell you want I did). As you can tell I don't work at NASA. I don't usually talk about people, but somethings are just too funny.

Friday, September 09, 2005

FYI and Ophelia Update

On the radio today, they answered my question about hurricane names. According to their weatherman, if they use all 21 names on this year's Hurricane List, they will start using the Greek Alphabet. They have never had to do that, but they did use all 21 names once.

Ophelia Update

I know that this storm doesn't concern most people, but it is still lingering off my coast and eroding our beaches terribly. They are forecasting now that after it loops around it should make landfall around the GA/SC border. That is IF it does what they are saying. But, as we all know Hurricanes do not like to be predictable. So, I'm still watching it.


With all the hoopla and blame game playing still going on with Katrina, there is little being said about Tropical Storm/Hurricane Ophelia (she is teetering on the edge, going back and forth. She was a Hurricane when I went to bed last night). But, she is lingering off of Florida's coast. I just checked the latest forecast and it looks like she might pull a loop-te-loop like Jeanne did last year. Ophelia has not done any of the things she has been forecasted to do so far. Everyone in Florida keep an eye on her. She won't be a Katrina, but Hurricane is Hurricane. I'm sick of them.

(I tried to put the NOAA page in here, but it didn't work, so you will have to click the link. I still have things to learn).

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Happy Birthday to my Sweetie, D

Today is my Sweetie's birthday. He is "29" again. He is doing anniversaries of his birthday now. But to him, I say:

My love,

I know you say that you don't celebrate birthdays anymore. But, I celebrate yours because I cherish everyday that you are in my life. I couldn't and wouldn't want to imagine life without you in it. Getting older doesn't have to be grim. Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Happy Birthday and here's to us celebrating many more of them together.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Casket Furniture

I was worried about not having anything interesting to post today. But, then the boys and I started watching Ripley's Believe it or Not. They featured a young man who decided to make casket furniture (Yes, they have a website). These are caskets you can use before you die. So, when you do kick the bucket, you already have your coffin. He originally came up with the idea because caskets were so expensive. So, now for $25,995, you can have a casket pool table. There is also entertainment centers, sofas, even a child's casket coffee table (custom made for someone in Ft. Lauderdale). What a way to tell your child you love him! "Well, son, I love you but your about to outgrow your coffin. I guess we are going to have to do something about that." Yes, the funeral business has gotten way out of control, but get real. I am not going to sit around staring at my coffin or worse yet one for my child. It is really sad because he has a thriving business. I guess I'm just not with the times. I'll have to live forever because I can't afford to die; it's too expensive.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Dive Photos

Last Sunday, I went on my 2nd scuba dive. I am still in awe of the beauty beneath the ocean. The dive went wonderfully. Then, as we were preparing to ascend, we spotted this ominous looking creature heading towards us. From the distance, we were unable to determine the species. It looked like some type of jellyfish or something. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be the dreaded bag fish (plastics family). Warning: this species also is land dwelling and will attack horses. I know, I have encountered it.

We had two barracuda join us during our dive.

And, we saw lots and lots of spectacular tropical fish.

(Click on thumbnails to enlarge)

I'm back

I'm back from my trip. I know I haven't posted in a few days and I feel sorta guilty, too. (Although, I have been guest posting at VW Bugs of One Happy Dog Speaks because I promised. So I haven't been totally irresponsible.) I know I shouldn't feel guilty, it's just a blog. But, it just kind of gets in your blood. I have some beautiful pictures to post from my dive. So, please keep checking back, I haven't quit blogging.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Observations from the Airport

I just had the pleasure of spending about six hours in Airports. I would like to address the following people:

To the man sitting about 20 feet away from me. TURN DOWN YOUR CD PLAYER. Headphones mean that I am not supposed to hear it. If I wanted to listen to that music, I could have stayed home and been tortured by my children. You give the appearance of wanting to be courteous by wearing headphones but then you turn it up so loud that it is annoying. If you don't have any regard for those around you then at least do it to save your own hearing.

To the man pacing back and forth while talking on his hands free cell phone. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG IN A PSYCHO WARD AND NEED MEDICATION. If you have business to conduct that is fine. Then sit in the corner and quietly conduct your business.

To the couple with the two small girls sitting behind me on the plane. You have wonderful adorable children. Your oldest daughter who appeared to be about 4 or 5 is very observant. But, I was nervous enough flying and her observation that the propeller wasn't turning (we were still on the ground) and her comment that they shouldn't have put us on a broken plane did not make me feel any better. I did chuckle when she couldn't remember an event and said, "Oh, that must have been when I was little."

The the man that sat next to me on one of my flights. Thank you for a very interesting and personable conversation. It made the flight go by very quickly. To often these days, people are engrossed in their personally electronics and do not take the time to talk to the person six inches away from them.

Despite my delays, I had a good trip. I am spending the holiday weekend with my Sweetie so it was all worth it. (Labor Day is Monday for those of you going WHAT HOLIDAY?)

Friday, September 02, 2005

I hate dial up


I had an award winning post on Airport Observations ready. But, you will never see it because I lost my connnection and lost my post. I hate dial up. I will try to reproduce my masterpiece (I can say that since no one will ever see it) but it will not be the same. I hate dial up. I have become spoiled with DSL. I am visiting my Sweetie in the Bahamas right now and all he has is dial up. Have I mentioned I hate dial up. Well, I have to go work on my post, again.

Stupid Signs

Look closely at these pictures. Notice the sign at the bottom of the long pole to the high rise birdhouse. Read the close up of the sign in the second picture. Who is this sign for? Is it a warning to a literate cat that likes to shimmy up poles in hopes of catching a bird? Or is it for birds that can't fly, but can read? Do their friends drop down a rope ladder or something? Why is this area booby trapped? I was baffled by this. But, booby trapping places with sand spurs will work. If you have ever stepped on a patch of them you understand.

(click on photos to enlarge)

Thursday, September 01, 2005

I am happiest when I .....

Warning! This post is laced with testosterone influenced material. If you are easily offended, you may want to stop reading now. If you are easily amused, keep on reading.

By now, I should not be shocked by the things that my boys come up with. But, I still am from time to time. Last semester, I took a class in communications. One of the assignments we did was just a basic finish the sentence intro get to know you type handout. I didn't think anything about the statements on it. But, I do not have a penis, so my mind does not work like one that is flooded with testosterone. I was working on my homework one evening. And I started reading these statements to my boys. (You have to take into consideration they are 15, 17, and 18. There are male hormones abound in my house.) There were statements like, "I am going to school because...., My favorite hobby is ........., and so forth." I'm sure at one time or another everyone has had a class that used these get to know you worksheets. Well, when I read the one that said, "I am happiest when I....", Improviser broke out into a huge Cheshire cat grin. Before he could say a word, Daredevil quickly interjects, "(Improviser) is happiest when he masturbates." I thought I was going to die laughing. Since they share a room, I asked him if he knew because he was watching. He promptly says, "No. I know because I know how happy it makes me when I do it." I couldn't believe he said that. You know they do it, but it isn't something a mother really wants the details of. And that is precisely the reason why I have made them wash their own sheets since they were a whole lot younger.