Saturday, July 29, 2006

Can't win the Martha battle

I was wide awake at 4:00 this morning. It's Saturday, I know. Go figure. I still had to be at work at 7am, but I figured I would treat Chowhound to breakfast this morning since my motherly qualities have been questioned. I baked Strawberry Muffins before I went to work. I would like to brag that I hand picked fresh strawberries and made these from scratch, but I can't. Martha White and 1/2 cup of milk is about all I'm good for at 5am. I made the effort nonetheless and left a note beside them.















When I came home, I found this:














Let's see what he says when I don't fix him any dinner tonight. Guess who will be sucking up then!

Brat.

Fake Mother discovered

My mothering inadequacies have been discovered. Chowhound witnessed a "real mom" and now knows that I have been faking it all these years. He stayed over at a band mate's house the other night and came home with stories that were horror to my ears.

"His mom COOKED us breakfast. She made my lunch. She even washed out my water cooler."

OMG and this was on a week day too!

So, I asked, "Does she have to be at work at 7am?"

"Uh, No."

"Is she a single parent?"

"Uh, No."

"Are you arms broke?"

He packed his own lunch the next morning.

I went spying into his cooler to see if he had bothered to put in anything but snacks. I was caught in the act. He glared at me, "If you want to know what's in my lunch, then you should make it."

I'm going to wring his neck and we won't have to worry about packing lunches anymore.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

It's a conspiracy

I was ambushed by life and tied up, but I'm still alive. Ransom demands are being negotiated. I hope someone pays them and I get freed soon.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Warning/Disclaimer

Red Tent Fight Club Warning.

She's back!

I hereby am not responsible for any actions for the next several days. That includes written, verbal, gestures and any non-verbals that wretched woman pretending to be me may use.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Re-energized

It is amazing to have energy again. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling or how long until I started feeling better. The doctors have finished probing and pricking and coming back with normal test results. I don't not have MS or a brain tumor. Possible bladder infection. Antibiotics given. I don't know if that is what is doing the trick. Or some of the stress is gone worrying about the unknown. They have concluded that they believe I have Fibromyalgia. I'm researching it to see if I come to the same conclusion. If anyone has any information, please pass it on.

I'm off to work in the yard.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Just wondering

Why is it that the dog won't eat the spilled dogfood off the floor until it is swept up into a pile of dirt?

Can I have my next house with plastic furniture, tile floors and walls and drains in each room so I could just haul a hose in and clean instead of dusting?

Just wondering.

Marine Protege for T1G

Happy Birthday T1Uncle. I wasn't sure what to get you so in coincidence and tribute my nephew leaves for Marine Bootcamp today. HooRaa. Also, his birthday was yesterday. So for your birthday I give you a protege. You can send advice via me and tell him how to be a great Marine. Jarhead dos and don'ts.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Crab Cay

This is Crab Cay, Exuma, Bahamas. It's a beautiful little island about a mile from Great Exuma. It is only accessible by boat. The ruins are what is left of an estate built in the late 1700's by botanist William Walker.

Don't get fooled by the great write up on the link I provided. It makes it sound like it's ready to move into. In fact the only part of the development and deal that was approved by the Bahamian government in 2003 that is completed are the lot # signs.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Male vs Female difference

So, I don't have you guys mad at me for the last post. I've discovered the difference between men and woman and doing stupid things. Men do it on purpose. To some women it just comes naturally.

Testosterone vs Roman Candles

I can't frickin believe this. Improviser and Chowhound just asked my permission to shoot roman candles at each other. I'm not shocked that they want to shoot them at each other. I'm shocked that they asked. No frickin way! Did they honestly think I'd clap my hands together, get a big Viagra Bob smile and say, "Of course boys. Sounds like a wonderful idea to me. Have fun and be safe." Holy crap.

Me: Hell no. Why do you want to shoot roman candles at each other?

Chowhound: Because it's fun.

Me: It's not fun it's stupid. I am not carting a smoldering child into the emergency room and announce that they had parental permission to be idiots.

Chowhound: We'll tell them Dad gave us permission. Let's ask him. (and he picks up the phone).

Are testicles and the stupid gene connected? There has to be DNA evidence to back this up. I just know it. I swear you never see youtube videos of females shooting crap at each other. Chowhound said stupid people have fun. Stupid people get Darwin awards.

I know as soon as Daredevil gets home they will all disappear. And I will know what they are doing. ARRRRRRRR! Males.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Weather Pixie hates AZ too

I went over to Sissy's place at "and what Next" and got a good chuckle. She hasn't been exaggerating about how miserably hot it is over there. Even her weather pixie agrees. She is naked (appropriate parts blacked out for you perverts) and it says "TOO DAMN HOT"! Now you know it's hot when your weather pixie takes off all her clothes.

I arrived, finally

I arrived safely at my Sweetie's. A day late but I'm beginning to get used to that. He's been teasing me that people from Europe can get here in a day and it takes me two days from Florida. Go figure. But, then again I do have to travel through a foreign country to get here. Miami is a foreign country, right? I know it has to be because I can't understand anyone there.

Once again, American Airlines decided to treat me to an all expense paid night in Miami. It's kind of them don't you think? Usually, they do it for me for my birthday (two years in a row) so this time was a suprise since my birthday isn't until October. Once, they were kind enough to give me an extra night with my Sweetie. We enjoyed that but my work wasn't so happy that I took an extra day off.

Oh well, I'm finally here and that's all that matters.