Friday, May 18, 2007


Whenever I have a sit down dinner with all of my boys I always end up just shaking my head in disbelief at the conversations. Last night was no exception.

Improviser was text messaging through most of dinner. All of his friends were sending birthday wishes and asking what time the party was started. His ID had already been whipped out at the liquor store. I guess it's a right of passage on that 21st birthday. The scene was set for a wild time (he hoped). The comment was made to make sure that no babies resulted from this wild night. Then came the condom slogans:

Daredevil: Make sure you wrap it before you tap it.

Chowhound: Don't be silly protect your willy.

Daredevil: Don't be a fool wrap your tool.

Where do they get these things? Commercials and Internet of course. So, being the good mother I am, I found some additional ones:
List of possible slogans promoting National Condom Week

1. Cover your stump before you hump

2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner

6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it

8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey

9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you go into heat, package your meat

13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis

14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member

16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker

17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool

18. The right selection will protect your erection

19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil

20. A crank with armor will never harm her

21. No glove, no love!

Some of these cracked me up. I like #7.

At least safety and prevention are being preached. Do you have any new slogans to add? (nothing vulgar please)