I'm back

Highlights of my trip:

American Airlines gives birthday presents. At least they do me. For two years in a row now, they have given me an all expense paid night in Miami. Note to self: Next year have Sweetie with you.

Warning, if you are on the fifth floor of the hotel and the elevator buttons don't work, don't take the stairs because they keep the doors to the other floors locked and you have to walk back up. I'm really glad there wasn't a fire.

There is apparently a no luggage in the restaurant law. I was told to leave my luggage in the hotel lobby while I ate. I didn't. I left.

Always make sure your children are fully awake when you tell them what time to pick you up at the airport.

Start worrying when you find a BIG CITY TATTOO card in your car. I was told they were just looking. I haven't seen any tattoos and if they did and I can't see them, I don't want to see them.

The police chief of a small town will bring your child home if he is walking around on Halloween night dressed all in black carrying a paint ball gun. And he will take one of the paint balls to use for identification in case anyone complains.

Teenagers and DOGS can exist on Ramen noodles.

If your teenagers says, "I did not skip on Friday or Monday" figure out which day he did not include. (Tuesday)

Make sure when you have your ride drop you off to get your car keys from your kid, that you kid has the car. (The car was at home)

Prepare yourself before you walk in the house when your son says, "I thought you were coming home yesterday. It was clean then."