Friday, May 19, 2006

Happy Birthday Improviser

In the midst of all the chaos lately there was a birthday. A very important one. It was not overlooked just not advertised. Improviser is no longer a teenager. This is a major milestone for me. My oldest is 20. Oh, it is so hard to believe.

As I look back on the last 20 something years, I think about how much my life changed with him. I was 20 and scheduled to go to Air Force bootcamp. One night of pleasure changed my life's direction forever. I love him dearly so there are no regrets.

Improviser has taught me so much. I have learned...

...that after spending 33 days in a hospital bed waiting for a stubborn child to enter the world you need a u-haul to take everything home.

...that a baby can scream for 22 hours a day if they have colic. The other two hours they sleep. Five minutes at a time. That's how long the baby swing rocks. They weren't battery operated then. You had to crank them.

...that when everyone gives you advice get details. A baby should not have cereal in every bottle every day.

...that when the car or the swing stops the baby will start screaming again.

...all the roads in my hometown.

...a hot, screaming baby who only sleeps in the car will convince you to trade the Sporty Camero with no AC for a four door family car with AC.

...that the best flowers are the ones with roots and dirt and most people call weeds.

...a toddler will not share his toys but will share the mushy cookie in his mouth.

...that if a child watches Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a 100 times or more they will make turtle faces for school pictures.

...that when you are awakened at 2 am by rolling over on a cold pack of ham it means Improviser is up.

...that the urge to choke a child at 2am is suppressed by his smile as he offers you some of the "cake" he is making in the middle of the kitchen floor using a dozen and half eggs, milk, chocolate and who knows what else.

...that it takes 2 bottles of nail polish remover to remove the red nail polish from the bathtub and your two brothers.

...that the pre-K teacher will laugh hysterically when you request they not show 4 year olds how to use food coloring anymore.

He also taught me the meaning of unconditional love. Patience. Tolerance. And so much more.

Happy Birthday Improviser. You have become a handsome, wonderful young man. I am very proud of you.