Cross County Team and STD

I love conversations with my boys. I never know what to expect. First off, stories usually start with an ending and then work backwards to the beginning.

Now, please remember I am trying to drive during this conversation. Chowhound is in the passenger seat and Daredevil is in the back.

Chowhound: Did I tell you what the cross county team found the first day of practice?

Me: Yeah, a (stuffed toy) bear.

Chowhound: Did I tell you what we named it?

Me: Ya'll named the bear?

Chowhound: Yeah. STD.

Daredevil is rolling in the back seat choking out STD in fits of disbelief.

Me (rolling my eyes and dreading the answer): STD? Why?

Chowhound: SUPER TOUGH DUDE! I can see all of the cross country team huddled before the meet and then yelling STD. I don't think the coach would like it but it would be funny.

My children have a sick sense of humor. They are so wrong.

Somehow this lead into stupid joke time:

Daredevil: A priest walks into a bar. Ouch.

Boo. Hiss. Boo. Throw tomatos. Something. Chowhound retorts with: What was Beetoveen's favorite fruit? Baa Naa Naa Naa

Ack! Do you see what I have to live with?

This isn't good

No matter which computer model you look at, Ernesto is headed to Florida. He should only be a minor Hurricane by standards, but he is a major pain in my a$$. I have a 7am flight to Ft. Lauderdale Thursday morning with plans to drive to Key West for the weekend with my Sweetie. He is scheduled to have shoulder surgery Wednesday and he thought that Key West would be a great place to recuperate. Maybe Ernesto will speed up and move out of Florida or just take a wide right and miss us altogether. The good news is maybe the Hurricane will chase all the other tourist out of Key West and the weather will be clear for our trip.


I am trying to be optimistic. This is not the first or second or third hurricane that has threatened one of my rendezvous with my Sweetie. We always seem to get through it and we will this time too. But, I am stressed now.

Ack. I hate hurricanes.

Happy Blogiversary

VWBug's blog is 2 years old. I'm sure she forgot since she didn't post about it. So, I will.

VW is a very special person. I have known her most of my life. There were years when we lost touch just because that is how life is sometimes. But, that changed two years ago when she started blogging. Through her words and pictures she has given me and the rest of the world a front row seat into her life. Blogs are personal. They are touching. They become part of who we are and introduce us to others who share our trial and tribulations and others who don't but can offer support.


We have listened to VW lose her mind from sleep deprivation. We watched two babies grow from tiny tots to handsome young boys. (I can't believe how they have grown.) I'm sure I wasn't the only one who cried when she lost her Dad. And Wednesday are no longer dreaded since wait in anticipation of Humor for Dreaded Wednesdays.

There's a lot more I could write and links I could add but time is short so I'll just cut to the chase. Thank you VW for sharing and including us in your life. I'm sure I speak for a bunch of people, We love you and cherish your boys and your blog. Here's to another year of blogging. I hope you get some much deserved "me" time now that school has started and some much needed sleep.

Congratulations.

A Day off?

I can't believe I am not working today. No OT for me this weekend. I get to relax and...

go car shopping and make the boys clean their rooms and the yards and I get to pay bills and grocery shop and clean house and wash the dog and the car and finish painting and...

wait a minute, on second thought maybe I will go to work.

Tink's Tribute

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINK!

Ok, here comes the cake. Everyone get ready to sing...


Happy Birthday to You...Happy Birthday to You...
(I don't hear anybody singing except me...come on folks...louder)

Oh well, I'll work on the uncooperative choir group later. Lets get ready to party blogger style.



Now that your in party mode



lets bring on the presents.



Yep. That's right. I got you two dalmations for your birthday. Don't see 'em. Look again. and again. and again. Keep looking I'm sure you'll find them soon.

Tinks turning Twenty....

...plus thirty. Happy Birthday Tink! (I know it's not officially until tomorrow but it seems your "Mom"/Sis is in fact more forgetful than you. See youth isn't everything.)

I have presents but you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Bootcamp Update

Just a little update on my nephew and his wonderful adventures in Marine Bootcamp. He is at Parris Island with an anticipated graduation date of Oct. 6. My sister has been reading me his letters. I want copies of them, they are hilarious. You have to understand his warped, quiet sense of humor to really appreciate them. The first letter started out something like this, "This place SUCKS! But they gave me a kickass (something-something)M-16." Then after talking about the boys who have already dropped out and cried, he raves about the food. He sounded absolutely shocked that he could have waffles and pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Like my sister never cooked anything for him. He's a beanpole so he doesn't have to worry about overeating.

In his latest letter he talks about the confidence course. When he finished climbing the rope on his first attempt, the DI told him to do it again because he did it too fast. Then he had to do it again because he didn't yell loud enough. All total he had to do it 7 times in a row.

It sounds like he is actually enjoying it. He doesn't complain without finding something good to counter it with.

My sister is really proud as she should be. I am very proud of him too. I'll keep ya'll posted and ya'll keep encouraging thoughts heading his direction.

Computer Geeks vs Psycho Freaks

There must be a really fine line that distinguishes whether you become a computer wizard or a serial killer. Otherwise, why would anyone even come up with this? Out of ten people can you pick out which are killers and which are computer language geniuses?

How come...

something like this can't ever happen to me?

Something is wrong with the aging process

I am officially getting old. I guess I can't deny it any longer (but I will anyhow).

I now have a son in COLLEGE. It hit me a few weeks ago when I started to say, "I have 3 teenage boys" and had to correct myself. Improviser is not a teenager anymore. He is 20 and he is in college. I only have two teenagers. How can that be? I'm only twenty-something, right? I don't feel any older than I've felt all my life. When did this happen? How did my children get older than me. Something ain't right here.! I'm telling you. It just ain't right.

Carnival of Recipes is UP

Time to go BBQing. In the Headlights is hosting the carnival this week. Last week as a joke I had Elephant Stew. This week she has a submission for a 50lb hog. No kidding. Really. Go check it out. Now you know what to cook for Labor Day.

Well, I'm jotting down my grocery list and heading to the store.

I wonder how long it would take Chowhound to eat a whole hog and how long before he got hungry again? Probably not long on both accounts.

ACK!

It's a Monday and I woke up with a headache. (and blogger won't let me post an image). This can't be a good sign.

TMI or just needing an ear?

Chowhound and I stopped in at Subway for dinner last night. We just needed a quick bite between band practice and open house. There was a young man making the orders and an older woman working the cash register. Chowhound placed his order, foot long Bourbon Chicken. No problem. Then, the trouble started. I asked for a chicken terriyaki salad. He got this blank look on his face and asked "What kind of bread do you want that on?" My turn for the facial expression. "It's a salad. No bread." His expression gets even more confused looking. "What's that?" I'm thinking, "hello, you know the green leafy good for you stuff that goes in a bowl" that and about a half dozen adjectives to describe this kid. Luckily, the woman piped in with an explanation, "It's his second day on the job." She then points out the three foot by eight foot menu on the wall and shows him what they sell. I'm thinking that should have been covered in day one of Subway101. But, hey no sweat, I'm forgiving. The lady tells me she will make my salad after she finishes ringing up the other 4 witnesses. Okay. I can deal with that.

While all of this is going on, the woman's husband comes in and brings groceries. He is reaching over the end of the counter trying to put them in the back. The young man finally helps him out of takes the plastic bags to the back. Then, a discussion develops about how the man would get home. All the while I'm standing there patiently starving and running out of time before the Open House at the school while Chowhound is sitting behind me wolfing down on his footlong. Oh, good, a decision is made. The man and boy leave after retrieving the Winn Dixie bag that was put in the back in less than 10 minutes earlier. Now maybe I can get my dinner.

The woman starts on my salad. She puts the lettuce in the bowl and then leans forward and whispers, "I found a lump in my breast this morning." I'm floored. I wasn't expecting that. And then she stops making my salad and proceeds to give me details. Now, this is not a place I frequent. I have never seen this lady in my life. We are not friends or even acquaintances. I'm starving and she has my dinner in her hands. But, although I have never had to worry about a breast lump I can certainly emphasize. I'm sure she is worried and just needed to express that. So, I offer my encouragement that hopefully it would be nothing. She then gives me her medical history. She has had lumps before. They were all benign. She has had uterine cancer and had all those parts taken out. The free clinic will be open this Saturday so she can go to the doctor. She needs to get her heart meds anyhow. I now probably know about as much as her doctor.

All the while, I am still withering away while drooling over my anticipated dinner. It is still just a newborn bowl of lettuce waiting to bloom into a full blown salad. It is on the other side of the sneeze glass just taunting me. Meanwhile, behind me Chowhound is ready to leave as we now have five minutes to get to the school. We had more than an hour for dinner when we started. I eventually get my salad, scarf it down, and head out the door with a wave and a good luck.

Now, I listened to the woman because obviously she was worried but I just couldn't help but think that this was way too much info. Maybe it's just me but it didn't seem like appropriate counter chit-chat. Am I too callous and cold. I was polite to the lady but my thoughts and actions were not in synch with one another.

And to top it all off, I was late for 1st period. I was immediately transformed into the teenage humiliated and scorned for walking in late and disrupting the class. This didn't make a good impression.

Prayers for Kendra and Maliyah

This is truly a remarkable story. Kendra and Maliyah Herrin have been separated after sharing a body for 4 years. Their parents and family have been posting updates during the 26 hour surgery. I fought back the tears as I read through their notes. This must be an incredibly strong family. First, to have to make a decision like they did and then to sit and wait during the surgery. The girls still have a long way to go. Please put them in your thoughts and prayers. There is strength in numbers.

School Carnival of Recipes Time

Guess what time of year it is again. Yep. You're right. Back to School Time.

So, Welcome to the Little Red School House. Today we are featuring the Carnival of Recipes. No school bought lunches here today. Why not, you ask?


There's a New Cook in the Cafeteria(by Bruce Lansky)Good morning, staff and students.We have a brand new cook.And that's why our lunch menuwill have a brand new look.
To make a good impression,our cook's prepared a treat:your choice of snapping turtle soupor deep-fried monkey meat.
If you're a vegetarian,we have good news today:she's serving pickled cauliflowerand jellyfish soufflé.
And for dessert our cook has madea recipe from France:I'm sure you'll all want seconds-of chocolate-covered ants.
I hope you like this gourmet feast.I hope you won't complain.But if you do we'll have to bringour old cook back again.
Now let's open our lunch boxes and take a peek inside. What kind of goodies did your mom or dad pack and what can we trade?

Mmmmmmmmm. Look in Adam's ( Men In Aprons) Minnie Mouse Thermos. He has Rice Pudding with Golden Raisins. He says it's soul food. "I like my pudding hot, steaming hot, the way it should be. And in this case, rice pudding is a food that can reach down into the core of your soul and warm it up."

Oh, that sounds so delicious.

So much in fact that VWBug of One Happy Dog Speaks is opening up her VW Van Lunch Box and starting negotiations.

She is offering Spicy Chicken and Ramen Noodles.

This was actually a Spicy Shrimp and Noodles recipe from Campbell's Fabulous One-Dish recipes that she changed to Chicken.

But, wait a minute.

Oh, look! Who's Yogi Bear Lunch box is that? Why, that's Mama Squirrel's of Dewey's Treehouse. Yes, it's divine fate (or is it) that she brought Serendipity (and Chicken recipe) today. At least that's what she's calling it. The Deputy Headmistress might disagree. (Her version is later).

That sounds like it will go fabulous with Trinity Prep School's Texas Caviar. She even offers a cheater's version. She says it the "Lazy Version". But, we all know that really means.

Those two just might have to go visit the Principal after lunch.

Now, who has those fritos?

Does Everything and Nothing have them? No, but she has some scrumptious looking Grilled Corn Salad. She even has make ahead directions. Finally, a student who likes to be prepared.

Now, Amy of Mom Advice knows what every kids likes. Pizza. She advises this pizza dough recipe is for the bread machine. She states. "I enjoy homemade bread and pizza, but I will not invest the time (at this point in my life) to knead & roll dough for hours. I think that is why I appreciated this recipe so much- it was easy for even the novice dough roller or whatever you would like to call me!" We call her a star student. What kid doesn't like pizza?!

Now, Kicking over my Traces is tempting everyone with Spice Cake. This version has photos.

Seriously Good Kevin is sitting next to her wanting a piece of her cake to go with his Buttermilk/Pineapple Sherbet. He reminds us of why the hand crank ice cream maker is a thing of the past. And, instead offers us a non-crank method for homemade icecream. Just some periodic stirring involved. That sounds like a project for the entire class.

Now, that our appetite has been spoiled with sweets lets rope in some good for you stuff. In the Headlights has Polynesian Chicken in her Roy Rogers/Dale Evans Lunch box. Yum. This sounds like it would go wonderfully paired with the Sherbet for dessert. She does note a couple of things though. "The first thing I noticed when typing this is the lack of fresh ingredients. I am sure you could substitute fresh ginger and onion, and no harm would come to the recipe."

Also, "The other thing was that I have never in my life put so many semi-colons into a single paragraph." We'll send her to English class immediately after lunch.

Oh, I didn't realize the Deputy HeadMistress was here today. She brought Cold peanut Chicken and Soba Noodle Salad. One of our other students today cheated off another one of her recipes earlier. Let's help Mama Squirrel out and eat up all those Soba Noodles. We would hate to see her get fifty lashes with a wet soba noodle.

Now, that Triticale has looked in almost everyone's lunch boxes. He is really trying to work a deal. He evidently has a practical and mean mother. He has Rye Bundles. Who wants to trade for a Liverwurst and onion sandwich?

Keewee's over in the Corner hiding. She doesn't want to share her Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies with anyone. I certainly don't blame her. I would keep them all to myself too.

Wait a minute. Nobody's dismissed yet. I almost forgot to post my recipe.

ELEPHANT STEW

1 Elephant, Medium size
2 rabbits (optional)
gravy


Cut elephant into bite size pieces and cover with gravy

Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees F.

This elephant stew serves 3,800 adults and 35 children.

If more are expected, two rabbits may be added.

Do this only if absolute necessary, as most people do not like to find a hare in their stew.

Okay. Lunch is over. I appreciate everyone who shared in our lunch trade today. If you ended up with the same lunch you brought, then try making these at home. Good luck. Now get back to class and remember to...

Bring Your Own Lunch

by Bruce Lansky

Don't eat school lunches-

not even a lick.

They might make you nauseous.

They might make you sick.

Just take a small bite and

you'll start to feel ill.

If the veggies don't get you,

the meatloaf sure will.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

I hate this time of year trying to get ready for back to school. Granted it is not near as bad as when the boys were in elementary school and you had a $500 list of items they needed. I was always amazed that they wanted soap and paper towels and tissues. I have boys and I have never seen them use those things. They last forever in my house. The schools should have 1,000,000,000,000 bottles of that junk now. Does soap have an expiration date? I swear my boys must be allgergic to it.

Oh, well. I'm rambling. Hope everyone is doing well and surviving this dreaded season of school shopping. I'm off to finish my errands.