Sunday, January 20, 2008


I'm sure my dedicated readers have noticed my daily affirmations. I'm not posting these to brag on myself but to remind myself of my worth and my successes. I recently discovered that I switched from celebrating my successes to belittling myself. I would avoid the mirror and fuss at myself when my clothes didn't fit anymore. I focused on how fat I had gotten, how broke I was, anything and everything that was not going in the direction I wanted it to. This took a toll on my self-esteem and on my life. But, I didn't realize the extent until right after Christmas.

My Sweetie and his best friend sent me and his wife to a day at Seventh-Wonder Day Spa for our Christmas present. We had five hours of pampering. I have had an occasional manicure and pedicure but never anything beyond that. The "Day of Seven Wonders Package" included,
"Beauty care for the mind, body and spirit".

Treat yourself to a day of complete relaxation and health.

Start your day with a morning Massage followed by a soothing Manicure and Pedicure. Enjoy an afternoon Lunch served with Wine. Afterward, let us highlight the contours of your eyebrows using our method of Threading. All this is followed by a relaxing Facial, and a Chakra Balancing session of Reiki.

I tossed and turned and stressed the night before about going. I didn't know if I would be able to relax while a stranger touched my body. This fear stems from the years of sexual abuse. It really stressed me out thinking about it. Almost to the point that I started to back out. I'm glad I didn't.

I started out with the full body massage. It took a few minutes of coaxing and reassuring myself but I finally convinced myself there was no threat and I could enjoy it. She started with my neck and face and then proceeding down the right side of my body and back up the left. It felt great. She used just the right amount of pressure. But, it was what she did next that left a profound impact.

She went into the Chakra Balancing portion of the package. Now, I had no idea what the hell this was or what she was going to do. I had never even heard the word Chakra before. I didn't know I had them or I would have been worrying about whether or not anyone could see them. Kind of like when you're in Elementary School and someone tells you your Epidermis is showing. You get all panicky until you find out it's your skin. But, you're terrified to admit that you don't know what the hell they're talking about. I still don't know or care if I have them. What ever happened transformed me. I feel great. She put on a meditation tape. One with soothing music that takes you to a meadow and describes the sights, sounds, and smells. While I concentrated on that she put her hands over my eyes, just barely, if at all, touching me. The heat from her hands felt fantastic. She held them there for a long time and then moved them to over my ears. It was very relaxing. She progressed to my arms and then legs. Even though she never increased the pressure she was applying I felt more and more fatigued as time when by. It was a instantaneous relief when she removed her hands. Now, I am knowledgeable in the going ons on the body and I know why this works. But, then the tape changed. The narrator started saying affirmations in the first person and instructed me to repeat them. She said the sort of things I have been posting. "I am in control of my life." "I deserve to be happy." All the while, Tanya is still doing this barely touching thing to one body part at a time. As I laid there, listening I felt tears seeping out of the corners of my eyes. I couldn't help it. It was like WOW! The stress just oozed from me.

I realized how bad I had been treating myself lately. I didn't have a man belittling me anymore so I was doing it to myself. So, I have vowed to take care of myself. There are things I can control and I will.

Please feel free to add your own positive comments to the affirmations and repeat them over and over.