Monday, October 23, 2006

P*nises and unnecessary body parts

Another dinner conversation that left me shaking my head. I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I had daughters. I grew up in a house full of girls. There were four of us with only 7 years between oldest and youngest. I don't remember having conversations like this with my sisters even when parents were around. My boys keep it sooooooo entertaining.

Tonight, we are sitting around the table discussing the weather. Yes, that is appropriate dinner conversation. That is a topic I can handle. Although, I do have to admit that most of the time I find out about the weather by walking outside. I'm not a news person. And weather doesn't affect my job any more so it is not on the must know list. However, I did catch wind of a conversation on the radio and at work today, that a cold front is coming through. I hate cold weather. I live in Florida. It should be warm all the time. Unfortunately, I live in North Florida and evidently the emphasis will be on North tomorrow. It is supposed to be a frickin 37 degrees in the morning. Holy Crap. So, this was what the boys and I were discussing.

Me: It's going to be 37 in the morning.

Daredevil: Sweet! I'm wearing shorts.

Chowhounds eyes light up and he darts off to his room abandoning his chicken and dumplings. My thoughts are "Oh, No. What now?!" He drags himself back into the dining room with disappointment on this face. "Darn. It's at Dads."

I'm squinting my eyebrows together trying to figure out what in the world he is looking for. All of a sudden Daredevil cracks up with "What? Your big grey p*nis jacket?"

I am so glad I was not consuming anything at that moment.

Summer before last Chowhound went on a cross country tour with a Drum and Bugle corp. He returned with this extra large downfilled grey jacket. It is extremely puffy and has one of the collars that zip up to cover your neck. But, since he is an extra small and the jacket is an extra large, it covers up all but about from his eye brows up. He ducks his head in and out of the jacket collar. Hence, the comment from Daredevil. Do a visual here. I think you got the picture. Actually, Daredevil admitted that one of the girls at school called Chowhound that. I think he got the coat out of the lost and found at one of the schools in Maine or some place up there in the frozen zone. He brought it home, washed it, and has declared it appropriate Florida Winter attire. It is probably good to around 30 degrees below zero or some ridiculous temperature that should just be a myth. One cold morning he came out in a tee shirt and shorts. I cut my eyes at him and suggested he may want to wear something a bit warmer. I waited in the car while he "changed". Yeah, I should have known better. He struts out of the house looking like Popeye after a dozen cases of spinach. He was wearing this puffy jacket underneath a sweatshirt. This was another rattle my brains moment. You know, one of those times when you just shake your head, laugh, and wonder where the hell did this child come from. And, I'm really hoping it warms up and slips his mind before Halloween. I can just see some kid coming to the door for candy and this big grey thing greets him.

Anyways, back to the dinner conversation. At this point, I'm trying to change the subject and get that awful vision out of my head. One does not want to picture their child like that. It's just wrong in all kinds of ways. So, I switched gears and updated them on their cousin. My oldest sister (the one with the new marine), her husband, their oldest son (not the marine), and his girlfriend went to Orlando on Friday. Her son, Z, proposed to his girlfriend on Friday night while in the tree house at Disney. Then, on Saturday night, his new fiance rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital. What a wonderful way to celebrate your engagement. After spending half the night doing CT scans and the sorts, they determine he had an extremely large gall stone which required surgery. So, then I updated them on my Sweetie's mother. Her appendix ruptured almost 2 weeks ago and she is still in the hospital.

Then, came the observations that we have body parts we don't need. It included speculation on why we have an appendix if we don't use it. Now, they are trying to come up with other body parts aren't necessary.

Daredevil comes to the conclusion: "Well, some people have a brain and don't use it."

I tried hard not to point fingers. Good Grief.