Saturday, February 11, 2006

Valentine greetings NOT to send

Valentine for your brokeback buddies?

Going through a mid-life crises?

For the working girl.

This one is just disgusting.

This isn't a valentine it's just to make up for the last picture. Test your sanity.


* Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can't prevent.
* Just wanted to say "I love you" when I wasn't falling down drunk.
* If only we weren't so closely related!
* I'm too shy to ask in person, but what is that thing on your face? A mole, a wart? WHAT????
* You're too beautiful to resist, my under-the-ether dental patient.
* I'm more than half interested in you, my hermaphroditic darling!
* The Medicated Shampoo Took Care of It.
* I'm Glad the Arkansas State Troopers Brought You to My Hotel Room, Valentine!
* I'll Give You Money To Have Sex With Me.
* Just thinking of you while I am drunk and no one else will have sex with me.



* The Florist couldn't find your house, did you move?
* I sent a candygram. Someone must have eaten it.
* The Hallmark Store was closed, and I didn't want to send less than the best.
* I sent an e-mail card. You never got it? AOL must have messed up again!
* I left a message on your answering machine to meet me for dinner. Where were you?
* I didn't know you liked jewelry.
* I thought Saint Valentine's Day was a Catholic holy Day.
* Your mailman must have been shot in a Post Office Massacre.
* I thought we would do something different this year.
* I thought it would mean I was making a commitment.
* You didn't remind me!