Almost Gone

Passport: Check

Ticket: Electronic

PADI dive card: Check

bathing suit: Check

Lingerie: Check

Malaria pills: Check

I'm off to the Bahamas to spend some quality time with my Sweetie.

Husband material in training

Conversation with Chowhound over dinner (of course)

Me: I saw Mrs. So and So when I was getting my hair colored today.

Chowhound: *Gulp* You got your hair colored?

Me: Yeah. Can't you tell?

Chowhound: *silence*

Me: Wasted my money, huh?

Chowhound: Pretty much.

Yeah, he's husband material already. He'll make some woman really happy.

Theme song of our day: American Idiot

It's been a while since I've had to make an Emergency Room visit. Well, Daredevil took care of that today. Luckily, it wasn't a bad slice. Just needed a few stitches in his thumb. Workman's comp will take care of everything. If his work is like mine, box cutters will be banned.

It sounds sick to say, but this was a fun emergency room visit. We were cracking up laughing almost the entire time there.

The place isn't very big and it's in a small backwoods town. (If it had been serious we wouldn't have been there.) Daredevil was signing the admittance forms and I was sitting close to him in the waiting room area. There were five people in the waiting room, including Daredevil and I. One man got a call on his cell phone. It was difficult not to listen as this is probably a 10 x 10 room. His first conversation was short, "I'm at the emergency room. Because of you." End of conversation. Now, there were no immediate signs of problems. No blood, no bandages, no vomit pail like the guy sitting next to me. But, he did look stressed. He kept resting his cheek on his palm. The second conversation explained it all.

"I'm at the emergency room"

"I let your stupid cousin Fred try to pull out my tooth!"

"I guess that makes me the stupid one."

Daredevil and I eye each other. I'm turning towards the wall and Daredevil, whose back is to this man, is biting his lips and his face is turning red as we are both stifling our laughter. We were both trying really, really hard not to laugh. But, I'm envisioning cousin Fred with one foot on this guy's chest, vice grips in hand and empty corn whiskey bottle laying beside them. "Open up wider Cuz, I just about gots it."

It's just not polite to laugh at other people's pain. But, we couldn't help it. It was killing us to keep quiet. Finally, he says, "Go ahead, it was a stupid thing to do". We busted a gut. Poor guy. I felt for him. But, it was just too frickin funny. I think we embarrassed him. He went outside and we didn't see him again.
Later, we were ushered into the treatment room. Both of us still occasionally snickering about the other guy. The doc comes in to stitch up Daredevil's hand. Daredevil is lying on the table. His is head is closest to me. I'm watching her spread his cut open and start to put in needle in it to deaden it. Daredevil is halfway between laughing and screaming. Then, we both start laughing. I think the doc thought we were nuts. I'm laughing because this is the same child who always screamed when they stitched him up. Now, he is laughing. Not, your regular ha-ha laugh. But, that whole body quiver laugh. The doc is desperately trying to get in the cut and his hand is quivering like jello.

Finally, after he is stitched up and we are waiting for the discharge papers. He starts laughing again. He is listening to his MP3 player. The song: American Idiot. Seems that was our theme song for the day.

Brain Teaser of the Week

** Brain Teaser of the Week **
-----------------------------------------------------------

The five words below all contain the letter-pair LE. We have taken out the other letters, though. Put each remaining letter back in place to determine the five words. We have included the part of speech and some clues to help you out.

L E _ (noun - no letter Y or A)
_ _ L E (noun - no letter A or U)
L E _ _ _ (adjective - includes another vowel)
_ _ _ _ L E (verb - includes one letter twice)
_ _ L E _ _ _ (noun - no letter D or M)

Remaining letters:A, A, C, D, D, G, G, K, L, M, I, R, U, Y, Y

How well is your brain functioning on a Monday? Check back later for answers.

Update: I got a lot of guesses on that one. Exactly Zero. Well, I'll post the answers anyways.

LEG

MILE

LEAKY

CUDDLE

ALLERGY

Perfect BBQ Pork Recipe

I went to my favorite bookstore today. I love this store. According to their sign in the window, they sell "Used, Rare, and Non-existent books". Upon entering you have to weave your way around the boxes of books in the entry way. The place is a virtual maze of books, both on the shelves and on the floor. They ran out of room probably about 20 years ago, but that didn't stop them from taking more in. You can find just about anything if you have the time and patience to look. It's my kind of store. I love it. I love plundering through the piles and boxes seeking out old treasures. The place has been added onto through the years. You can literally get lost in it. My boys have played hide and seek there.

Today as I scanned the cookbooks, The Thrill of the Grill was right before my eyes. I have been looking for this book. I bought one for my former husband years ago. It has great rubs and grilling techniques in it. I love this cookbook. As I reached for the book, I started snickering. I half expected to open the front cover and find my own handwriting in it. But no, not mine, it says, "Sept. 1993 John, We'll never forget the Lamb Chops! Really cooked! Happy Bar-B-Quing, Happy Birthday!! Karen and Alec." Well, either John didn't like the book or he quit liking Karen and Alec. Well, their loss is my gain.

This is one of my favorite recipes from the book. The meat turned out great and the rub is awesome, but the best part is the write up. (I'm going to post the best parts, if you want the entire recipe buy the book or e-mail me or wait for John to throw another one of Karen's gifts away.)

The Only Real Barbecue Sandwich, or North Carolina Pulled Pork Barbecue Sandwich

2 4- to 5-pound boneless pork butts
1 cup All-South Barbecue Rub
2 cups Eastern North Carolina-style Barbecue Sauce
Cheap White fluffy buns
Tidewater Coleslaw

Bottle of hot sauce for garnish

1. Rub the pork butts...
2. Using hardwood charcoal...
3. Place the butts on the grill...

Now, comes the part of the recipe that is the most important. Pay close attention.

4. Pull a comfortable chair and a cooler full of beer out of the house and sit next to the grill, adding small amounts of charcoal when needed to keep the fire just smoldering (about every 30 or 40 minutes or after each beer, whichever comes first).

5. Cook for 5 to 7 hours...

6. Remove the pork butts...Garnish with a bottle of hot sauce.

There you go guys. The perfect BBQ recipe. When she asked how come your just sitting around drinking beer, you just tell her, "I'm following the directions honey."

The only problem I see is the "30 or 40 minutes or after each beer, whichever comes first". I know some people who would have that fire roaring like a bon-fire. That's probably why John's lamb chops were really cooked.

Saturday Sanity

Today, I am going to find my sanity somewhere among the clutter I am clearing away. It is a beautiful day today. No work. No kids. Just time to do what I want to do at my pace. The soulful sounds of Caribbean music fill every crevice in my house. The windows are keeping time and the neighbors are raising eyebrows as they pass by. But I don't care. Today is my day. Just for me.

Now, if I could find somewhere to ship the dog for the weekend. He is a pain in the *ss. He thinks I'm a fricken doorman.

Blogger Google #2

Okay, Round 2. Let's try this again.

"I typed a certain blog name into Google Image search and this is what I got. Guess which blog name I used?"

(Thank you Great Granddaddy Harvey for the quote. Grandma Bou and I were straddling that generation gap and couldn't understand each other in the first attempt at this.)





Update: Congratulations Bou! Yep. This is Eric of Straight White Guy.

Guess the Google Game

Google can come up with strangest images when searching for a single word. See if you can GUESS THE GOOGLE.

Google certainly can come up with seemingly different images for the same word. So, I have googled some blogger names and will display some of the images that were googled (blogger is arguing with me about posting images). Try to guess who it is. No cheating and googling it. Review the photos and see if you can connect them all to the name. I will post the correct answer later. The first ones will probably be easy until I start venturing out of my blog roll. I am going to try to do this on a regular basis. It will make me wander out of my safety zone and visit some new sites. Good luck.

Think this Counts?

Boy, I'm tired from walking yesterday. I must have walked ten miles yesterday...between the couch and refrigerator. Does this count as exercise?

Father Day Thoughts

Father's Day. This has always been a tough one for me. My parents divorced when I was 4 and my mother almost immediately remarried. Therefore, my step-father was the predominate father in my life.

I love my biological father to the depths of my soul. But, he is a quiet man who is lost in himself. He has never been one to reach out to people. His children included. There are more never's on my list when it comes to him being a dad.
He never held me at night when I had a nightmare. He was never there at birthdays. He wasn't at my High School graduation. He wasn't there when I said my wedding vows. He didn't attend the birth of my children.He barely knows his grandchildren.

But, in spite of all of this I still love him dearly. Because he never turned me away when I came to him. He just never reached out to me.

He was there when I ran away from home and needed a place to live.
He tried to defend me when his girlfriend threw me out.
He fixed my car when I failed to put oil in it and I blew a rod out the side of the engine.
He rescued me in the middle of the night when the water pump failed on my car.

I am saddened beyond belief when I see him. He exists in his own world. His hearing is gone and communication is strained. I have always made an effort and point to see him and involve him in my life and be involved in his. I don't blame him. I love him. He never intentionally hurt me. He just lives in a world of regrets and it has consumed him.

In spite of all this I have always admired him and held him in great esteem. I see him through 4 year old eyes and I always will. He is the quiet hero in my life.

On the other hand, my step-father was there for the good and bad times. He was the best and worst father a man could be. No in-between. There are parts of him I love dearly and others I hate. So many people see abusers as cut and dried "bad" people. Nothing excuses the terrible things he did. But, that is not all he is. He is the man who...

...brought home an abandoned kitten to a wide-eyed little girl
....bravely sat still and let a group of kids shave his face
....paid for my first perm and then stopped on the side of the road and bought me roses and carnations to cheer me up when it turned out to be a disaster....
carved vampire teeth out of watermelon rind. We loved running around the beach chasing each other with them
....he taught me how to work on my car and the names of tools
....built four little girls a tree fort
....taught me drive a car, a boat, back a trailer down a boat ramp.

I have a lot of wonderful memories as a child because of him. It is sad too that these memories are countered by the terribleness he caused. He taught me how wonderful and awful life can be.

So, you can see why today is an awkward day for me. I grieve in silence for the want of a loving, giving father. I have alway been envious of father-daughter relationship as they should be. It is something I have always craved and will never have. I miss it and it hurts.

So, on Father's day I try to focus on the good times I had with my "Dads" and tuck away the grief for other times.

Broken Planes, Hurricanes, and Malaria

I have been meaning to post Part II of my E-Harmony experience detailing the wonderful man I met and the obstacles we have faced during the last two years. But, I haven't had time lately because I have been trying to get a friggin prescription for an Anti-Malaria drug. Of all the times for this crap to happen. No, I don't have it. I am trying to prevent getting it. The Bahamian Islands do not normally have a problem with Malaria. But, no not this year. 700 friggin islands and the one I'm going to has a Malaria outbreak. The CDC is recommending a drug for prevention. My doctor is out of town and his associate is hesitant to prescribe it. Normally, I just worry about hurricanes and flight delays and cancellations. Now, I can add Malaria to the list. Why can't I have normal problems?

Some days

you just need to laugh at other people's misfortune.

Comfort Zones

I know all about comfort zones. I rely on them daily. I found this poem and it really hit home.

THE COMFORT ZONE

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn‘t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile; Success is there for you!

Author: Unknown

Observation Habits

Chowhound and I walked to the store yesterday. As we passed one convenience, he commented that that store has 14 security cameras.

"Excuse me", I said. "Just exactly why do you know this?"

"It's just a habit of mine." was his excuse.

Throughout our 2 mile walk I found out that his school has 3 security cameras outside and several more inside. Another convenience store has 10. And the particular store we were headed towards has Zero. He apparently scopes them out wherever he goes. I hope it's just out of curiosity and not because he is doing anything wrong.

I've am the most unobservant person around. I have never noticed any cameras. Then, again, I'm not looking.

Does anyone else do this? Is this normal or should I be worried that he is up to no good?

E-Harmony Experience-Part I

Patriot Xeno (Co-Partner) of the RHOG is posting about his E-Harmony matches (Part I, II, III). It is interesting to see what he picks out of each persons profile and responses. It is the little things that usually make or break a relationship.

A little over two years ago, I was fiddling around on the computer and watching TV when an E-Harmony commercial came on. They were promoting their "free $40 profile". I had been abruptly dumped several months earlier from a three year relationship. I was still in the "what's wrong with me stage". I do not have a good track record with relationships. So, I took their free profile to see what was wrong with me and what I needed to change. I was so tired of failed relationships. I wasn't actually interested in starting one. The profile was pretty accurate. It told me what I already knew but didn't want to admit to myself. I need to be more assertive. I was impressed by the thoroughness and correctness of the profile.

Then, they started sending me matches. It was interesting browsing through the different people they thought I would be compatible with. I was surprised by things that stuck out and told me immediately that I wasn't interested in someone. At this point, I was just browsing and not signed up. You have to pay the fee in order to respond. After about a month or so I was intrigued by a couple of people and decided what the hell after debating with myself for a while. I still really didn't want a relationship and didn't know why I was compelled to do this. But, I signed up. I figured I hadn't been doing so hot at choosing the right person maybe they would be better at it than I was.
E-Harmony is set up in stages. Each person has the option of ending at any stage. Initially, you are sent a brief bio of the person. The person has the option of making their photo and profile available immediately or later at any stage. I did not respond to any that did not show me a photo. Yes, I'm a bit shallow and vain. I feel physical attraction is very important. It's not the most important thing, but it's up there.

If I remember correctly, the first stage was must haves and must not have. Each person chooses from a pre-made list of numerous choices and presents 10 of each that they feel are important. I culled out the stack even more and was culled a few times myself. The next stage was closed-ended questions. They offer different questions with multiple choice answers. You are able to put in your own answer if you don't agree with any of theirs. I remember one in particular that I was able to eliminate with this stage. I submitted one question that said something like, "Which one would bother you the most? If you partner ... (a) used improper grammar (b) was not up to date on politics (c) didn't keep up with current events, or (d) all of the above" He chose (d). Whoop-wrong answer, he was gone. I know how to speak properly, I just chose to be myself. I can barely keep up with my own life nevermind trying to keep up with events and politics.

Then, came the open-ended questions. Once again they offer a list of questions but they require more than a yes or no answer. You have a word limit I think. I eliminated a few based on the questions they asked not by their questions. Easy to spot the perverts here.

If you made it through all these stages then you could start e-mailing through e-harmony's site. Everything is confidential and guided up to this point. I only corresponded with a few of my matches. One e-mailed me and told me on the weekends he didn't have his son (every other weekend), I could find him at such and such bar. If I wanted to meet him I could go there. Nope. No thanks. Another match just sent one or two words at a time. Boring, no initiative. Delete. Then, one intrigued me the entire way. He is the only one I actually made a date with. More details coming in Part II.

Overall, I was surprised by E-Harmony. I was very doubtful to begin with. Now, I would be willing to do a commercial for them.

I hope Patriot Xeno has as great an experience as I have had. I definitely recommend it.

*Note: I may have gotten some stages in the wrong order. I am doing this with a 2 year old recollection of events. Follow what Patriot Xeno has written. He is is correct. I was just trying to explain how the service worked for those not familar with E-Harmony's process. This is just my introduction into my experience.

Sister Tag

My new sister, Tink, has tagged me with a meme. Do you think I'll get in trouble with "Mom" if I beat her up?

5 things in my fridge:
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing-just ask my children

5 items in my closet:
*dresses I don't wear
*clothes that don't fit (the clothes I wear are in laundry baskets-they're clean. It's just easier to find them that way)
*heels that I don't wear
*A formal china place setting for two that my mother gave me as a wedding present when I married ex#1. I have been hauling it around for 20 something years waiting for someone special to have a candlelight dinner with.
*a set of engraved silverware my Grandmother gave to me for my boys. They will each get a set of four. I was the only one who married someone with the same last initial. The silverware is over 70 years old.

5 items in my purse:
*palm pilot
*Aleve 200 count--I'm going to be prepared no fooling around with pain
*cocoa butter hand cream
*scrunchie-always need an extra on hand
*unmentionables

5 items in my car:
*hard hat
*steel toed boots
*safety harness
*safety glasses
*rope
(Doesn't every girl carry those kinds of things in her car? I live in Florida. This is my hurricane preparedness kit. ;)

5 people to annoy:
I think everyone has done this already, so volunteers are welcome.