My name is...

...Sticks and I'm a bad girl. My Sweetie will love to hear this.

You Are a Bad Girl

You are 30% Good and 70% Bad You're a total bad girl, from your wild hair to tattooed toes. But you're too badass to even care if you're labeled "bad"!

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

I'm...

...Different.

I stole this brain color thingy from Mrs. Who. She has a purple brain and her first three commentors did too.

I'm the odd ball.

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

This is pretty accurate.

This is...

...for Mrs. Who.

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38! " (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!"

.

I am woman...

...hear me roar. There's nothing I can not endure.

The A/C crises seems to be fixed for now. I managed to clear out the drain pipe myself. Ingenuity strikes again. I cut the end off of the bicycle pump and shoved it down there and pumped like hell. Twenty-four hours has passed and it seems to be working still.

Now on to the rest of the list.

Some days...

...I just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and rock. Some days I just want the world to go away. Some days I wish I had a man around the house so I could just say, "Go fix it".

Go fix the AC that is clogged up with algae and causing water to leak all in the garage and house. Go change the oil in the car. Go flush out the radiator. Go get the window tint fixed. Go shampoo the carpets in the house. Or better yet, go tear the carpet out and put in wood and tile. Go the paint the bedrooms. Go mow the grass. Go trim the wisteria that is choking the other trees. Go pay the bills. Go cook dinner. Go do the dishes.

Then when you're done with all that come wrap your arms around me and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Some day.

There's no place like home

I'm clicking my heels together and muttering those wonderful, magical words. I had the best weekend. It was far too short. The eleven hour round trip drive really cuts into a weekend. Where can I get some ruby pumps?

I was able to spend a little bit of time with my mom, each of my three sisters and brother-in-laws as well as the delightful Mrs. Who. Mrs. Who comments on our connection and visit here. It seems her hubby, Bitterroot, had no desire to sit around and talk about exes so he decline the invite. I just don't understand. It is so hysterical. Especially, when both of you can claim the same ex.

Mrs. Who, it was great finally meeting up with you all these years later. I look forward to the next time. I guess we can find something else to entertain us so your hubby will want to join us.

Final Destination

I feel like I've been living in a Final Destination sequel the last two days. I would link to it for those not familiar with the movies but I'm on dial up. Too much trouble. Way too slow. After yesterdays car fiascoes I thought I was done. Nooooooo. Today continued. I swear someone is out to get me. I've been dodging cars, out of control travel trailers and pictures flying out of pick up trucks today. I-10 is so much fun.

I wish I had a camera with me today. I had a perfect picture opportunity. While travel through the 200 miles of construction on I-10, I passed the signs that post your current speed. The sign said "speed limit 60". My speed was 7. Yes, 7 flapping miles an hour. All I needed was David Spade, some nitrous, and a deer and I could have starred in Tommy Boy.

I'm made it alive and in one piece. Mom is doing well.

Maybe I will be able to catch up on my post this weekend since I will be housebound for most of it. I am trying to work it out to catch up with Mrs. Who while I'm here. That would be a blast.

Ta Ta for now. Over and out.

WTF

I love the reminders I get from time to time that tell me I made good choices or rather reminders on why I made those choices.

My Ex took me to pick up my rental car tonight. We have a casual relationship. We have known each other since we were teenagers. Even though we are divorced we have remained civil for the boys. I believe the past is best left there. I try very hard to stay cordial. We normally keep our conversations centered on the kids. It does no good to rehash things you can't change and will never see eye to eye on. I bite my tongue from time to time because it is just best. But, tonight I about bit it in half.

We were discussing Daredevil and his girlfriend. His girlfriend's Dad has lots of girlfriends and doesn't hide it from his wife. This is very hard on Daredevil and "Nana". She is very embarrassed about her Dad. She is not prod of her father at all. The man is warped and controlling. But, that's another post.

Anyhow, my ex blurted out, "Affairs are just wrong. I don't see how anyone could do that."

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I swear I tasted blood.

He doesn't see how people could do that. This coming from a man that slept with my best friend when we were married. Did he forget? Is he brain damaged?

I couldn't believe what I heard. That was the beginning of the end of our marriage. I guess since he claims it was only one time that doesn't count as an affair. That's BS. Infidelity is infidelity.

He really should quit taking those on-line Clinton Marriage Counseling Courses.

SSAM

This Meme was originally titled "LALOLKFATYK " (Learn A Lot Of Little Known Facts About Those You Know). I think SSAM (Stupid Shit About Me) would be better. But, I will play along because it...well, just because.

WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Much to my mother's surprise and dismay, I was named after her (first name only). She intended on naming me Suzanne Marie. But, when the nurse came around to fill out the birth certificate my mother was not coherent due to complications so my father re-named me. My mom found out when the nurse came to verify the Birth Certificate. She wasn't pleased.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The last time I was PMSing.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Some days. Sometimes it looks great and then other times it looks like a doctors.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Quizo's prime rib

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
If they're not mine then someone has been playing a bad practical joke on me.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Hell no. That probably explains why I don't have a lot of friends and only 8 people read my blog.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
What do you think?

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
As far as I know. Of course the aliens could have abducted me and taken them.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No way.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Don't have one

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Nope

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
No.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Turtle Tracks

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
That they are whispering about me.

RED OR PINK?
medium rare

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My memory....I think....I can't remember.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Dad because I've never gotten the chance to know him.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
olive green

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Indian corn

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The TV in the other room

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
one of those multi-colored ones that are all melted together

FAVORITE SMELLS?
Dinner that someone else cooked

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Someone from work about a problem.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NASCAR wrecks

HAIR COLOR?
only my hair dresser knows

EYE COLOR?
blue

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No.

FAVORITE FOOD?
Seafood

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I don't do Scary

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Spiderman 3

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
you're making assumptions aren't you?

SUMMER OR WINTER?
Spring, summer, fall...I don't do winter.

HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes.

FAVORITE DESSERT?
All of it.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Most everyone has done it.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Most everyone that wants to do it has done it.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Excel, Access 2003. Yeah, I'm behind the times but we use it at work and I'm building spreadsheets and such.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
water ripples

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
same stupid stuff that's always on

FAVORITE SOUND?
Laughter

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
George Strait

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Which way? LA, NY, Bahamas

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Yep. I just haven't discovered what it is yet.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
On this planet

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
I just want to see if anyone actually reads it.

Okay, Mom. I did it. Are you proud of me?

Maybe I should take a hint

My Mom had surgery Tuesday and got home from the hospital today. This is her second surgery in the past month. They are doing the rotor rooter routine on the arteries in her neck before they do a double bypass on her legs next month. She is doing good but needs someone there just in case. So, I am going to go home for a couple of days.

Well, I am trying. I let Improviser use my car today, as his died recently, to go to a job interview. He picked me up after I got off work and the plan was for me then to take him to work. When I got in the car I noticed the brakes were making an awful grinding sound. Strike One. Great. Wonderful. Just what I need the night before a trip. So, I stole Daredevil's car from him so I could take Improviser to work. Daredevil works close to the house so he didn't have to drive my car far as he had to be at work at the same time Improviser did. Is your heading spinning yet? Mine is. Then, on the way to take Improviser to work, I had to stop and put water in Daredevil's car. Strike Two. Improviser was a few minutes late for work.

Now, I have to make the great decision to try and replace brake pads tonight or just rent a car. Seeing as I would have to borrow a jack...and...Borrow the tools.. and...Cuss and Cry half the night. I opted for Plan B. I rented a car. I called my ex and made arrangements for him to take me to pick it up. Yes, I am friends with my ex. Not exactly friends but we are cordial and he helps me out as I have no family around me. I just called him and let him know I was ready to go.

"Be there in a few minutes."

A few minutes later the phone rings.

"Don't laugh too hard but I will be a little longer than a few minutes."

"Okay" wondering why would I laugh.

"I have a flat tire."

Strike 3.

Crap. Is someone trying to tell me something.

Vanity Plate

sticks' vanity plate:

IGOT 2P

'What will your vanity plate say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I could see this on my car. Because it doesn't matter how short or long the trip, it seems that I always have to pee. I always end up running to the bathroom with my legs practically crossed. It is especially bad where I live since 90% of the time I will have to wait on a train. And most of the time it will stop and block the road.

Revenge is my mine...(if I choose)

I had a perfect opportunity for excellent blog fodder tonight and I cut it short.

The phone rang. I didn't recognize the name or number. I answered anyhow as I don't get that many calls and I got excited at the prospect of a human voice at the other end. There are only teenagers in my house and they don't count as human. If you have ever tried to have a conversation with one you understand.

Anyhow, I answer, "Hello".

"Hi my name is Ana and I was wondering. If you died tomorrow would you be certain you are going to heaven?"

I wish it had been a video call so she could have seen the dumbfounded, shocked look on my face. Not quite what I was expecting. Usually, it's "Is Leroy home" or some other typical wrong number inquiry. This caught me off-guard. I shook my head, rattled the few brain cells I still have left and replied, "Yes."

"How do you know?"

"Because I have my faith" and I hung up.

Damn. Damn. Damn. I blew my moment of opportunity. Oh, the things someone else would have thought to say. Damn. I wish I was quicker like that.

I'm just not a spur of the moment, off the top of my head kind of person.

But, I do have her number in my caller ID so all is not lost.

Why I don't get photos taken

I took all three boys to Sears yesterday for photos. I must have been out of my freaking mind. Now, I remember why the last photo of all four of us was 16 years ago.

"Don't touch your brother"

"Stop pushing"

"Quit making faces"

"Put your hands down, don't make rabbit ears above your brother's head"

"Get your chin off of my head"

They get older. They don't grow up.

Then, the lady gets the bright idea that we should do a pose sitting on the floor. Holy Crap. Doesn't she know I'm old and decrepit?

And I felt like crap yesterday too. The entire right side of my body was screaming. I couldn't move my head, move my right arm or my right leg without feeling like someone had a hot poker to all my joints and was having the time of their life torturing me.

I managed to fall to the floor as gracefully and softly as I could. Yeah, all the grace of a baby giraffe trying to use his legs for the first time. Now, once I'm gravity bound and can't fall even further she wants me to lean across Chowhound's lap and prop myself up. Crap. I can't lean on my right shoulder or hand without daggers stabbing in my shoulder. And wouldn't you know it that was the side I was positioned on. So, now I have to manage to crab walk/scoot/shuffle or just generally look like an idiot to switch sides. Then, we need to call a crane to get me back up off the floor.

The finished photos did look great. But, my what an ordeal for me. It was bad enough being in extreme pain but then having to take the heckling from my peanut gallery.

Somebody knock me up side the head if I ever get this bright idea again.

Hurricane Season

Trying to gather my thoughts right now is like raking leaves during a hurricane. So many big changes are coming soon.

Chowhound is abandoning me on Sunday. He will be gone for two months. This is my baby. The only one of the children who still likes to play with me. I think I'll have to tie something around my neck to entice the other two to play with me. Porkchops won't work with them. They prayed for a noose a time or two, I'm sure. Any suggestions?

If it wasn't bad enough that Chowhound is running away, Daredevil leaves for Parris Island in 45 days. And, Improviser is already out of the house battling this cruel, unfair, wonderful world. My children have grown their wings. Between July and August, I will have three weeks with just me and the dog. I don't think the dog is ready for that. Although, I do know that if I hang a porkchop around my neck he will play with me.

Support our Troops

I stumbled upon the blog of a young Marine, Jake's Life. He writes about his life in Iraq. He does a great job of putting humor in his writing and tries to find the lighter side of a tough situation.

This attack did raise some serious questions though. If you die in your underwear, do your buddies tell anyone? Also, one of our Doc’s was using the restroom when the first mortar hit, very close to where he was. He had no gear with him. He dove onto the ground and was faced with a major dilemma. Do you wipe before you run for your gear?? Or do you just go? He opted for wiping, which, lying down, I’m not even sure is anatomically possible. My buddy Muir was brushing his teeth when it happened. He dove onto the ground and grabbed his rifle. About 2 minutes later he realized that he was still holding his tooth brush. He thought, do I drop my toothbrush on the ground?? I mean, we still have a couple of days left, and I’ll need to brush my teeth. He must of dropped it because we never found it.

Go visit Jake and wish him the best.