P*nises and unnecessary body parts

Another dinner conversation that left me shaking my head. I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I had daughters. I grew up in a house full of girls. There were four of us with only 7 years between oldest and youngest. I don't remember having conversations like this with my sisters even when parents were around. My boys keep it sooooooo entertaining.

Tonight, we are sitting around the table discussing the weather. Yes, that is appropriate dinner conversation. That is a topic I can handle. Although, I do have to admit that most of the time I find out about the weather by walking outside. I'm not a news person. And weather doesn't affect my job any more so it is not on the must know list. However, I did catch wind of a conversation on the radio and at work today, that a cold front is coming through. I hate cold weather. I live in Florida. It should be warm all the time. Unfortunately, I live in North Florida and evidently the emphasis will be on North tomorrow. It is supposed to be a frickin 37 degrees in the morning. Holy Crap. So, this was what the boys and I were discussing.

Me: It's going to be 37 in the morning.

Daredevil: Sweet! I'm wearing shorts.

Chowhounds eyes light up and he darts off to his room abandoning his chicken and dumplings. My thoughts are "Oh, No. What now?!" He drags himself back into the dining room with disappointment on this face. "Darn. It's at Dads."

I'm squinting my eyebrows together trying to figure out what in the world he is looking for. All of a sudden Daredevil cracks up with "What? Your big grey p*nis jacket?"

I am so glad I was not consuming anything at that moment.

Summer before last Chowhound went on a cross country tour with a Drum and Bugle corp. He returned with this extra large downfilled grey jacket. It is extremely puffy and has one of the collars that zip up to cover your neck. But, since he is an extra small and the jacket is an extra large, it covers up all but about from his eye brows up. He ducks his head in and out of the jacket collar. Hence, the comment from Daredevil. Do a visual here. I think you got the picture. Actually, Daredevil admitted that one of the girls at school called Chowhound that. I think he got the coat out of the lost and found at one of the schools in Maine or some place up there in the frozen zone. He brought it home, washed it, and has declared it appropriate Florida Winter attire. It is probably good to around 30 degrees below zero or some ridiculous temperature that should just be a myth. One cold morning he came out in a tee shirt and shorts. I cut my eyes at him and suggested he may want to wear something a bit warmer. I waited in the car while he "changed". Yeah, I should have known better. He struts out of the house looking like Popeye after a dozen cases of spinach. He was wearing this puffy jacket underneath a sweatshirt. This was another rattle my brains moment. You know, one of those times when you just shake your head, laugh, and wonder where the hell did this child come from. And, I'm really hoping it warms up and slips his mind before Halloween. I can just see some kid coming to the door for candy and this big grey thing greets him.

Anyways, back to the dinner conversation. At this point, I'm trying to change the subject and get that awful vision out of my head. One does not want to picture their child like that. It's just wrong in all kinds of ways. So, I switched gears and updated them on their cousin. My oldest sister (the one with the new marine), her husband, their oldest son (not the marine), and his girlfriend went to Orlando on Friday. Her son, Z, proposed to his girlfriend on Friday night while in the tree house at Disney. Then, on Saturday night, his new fiance rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital. What a wonderful way to celebrate your engagement. After spending half the night doing CT scans and the sorts, they determine he had an extremely large gall stone which required surgery. So, then I updated them on my Sweetie's mother. Her appendix ruptured almost 2 weeks ago and she is still in the hospital.

Then, came the observations that we have body parts we don't need. It included speculation on why we have an appendix if we don't use it. Now, they are trying to come up with other body parts aren't necessary.

Daredevil comes to the conclusion: "Well, some people have a brain and don't use it."

I tried hard not to point fingers. Good Grief.

Rough Morning

Overheard this morning:

Daredevil: "Where did I put my other shoe?"

Chowhound: "It's on your foot."

Nothing like trying to get dressed while your still half asleep.

Toasts are in order

My sister got married yesterday! In Las Vegas! By "Elvis"! The maid of honor was a show girl who escorted the groom down the aisle. I got to "be" there and I didn't have to board a plane or even take off from work. Live web cams are the next best thing to being there.

I have to admit at first I was a little disappointed in her wedding plans. It would have been wonderful to have everyone attend in person. But, it is her wedding day and she is entitled to do it anyway she wants. Besides, the type of ceremony or place does not diminish their feelings for each other. Trying to plan a traditional wedding and coordinate everyone and everything is extremely stressful. Her man had to go to Las Vegas for a conference so they decided to go early and get married before it started.

I was thrilled to be able to watch it live. My co-workers gathered around my desk and attended too. It was exciting to know that this wasn't a replay. It was happening right then. My sister was gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I listened to her giggle when she couldn't get the ring on his hand. I could see the love in their eyes as "Elvis" sang Love Me Tender. Congratulations E & L! E, I am thrilled to have you as a brother. And L, I have never seen you so happy. I know your love will only grow. I toast my glass to you both.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I went out in search of a purple ribbon today. I have been meaning to get one and wear it. Today, it hit close to home. Only a few miles away in fact. Today, unfortunately, a name can be added to the remember my name project.

She followed the law. He didn't. A piece of paper didn't stop him. An ankle monitor didn't stop him. His conscience didn't stop him. The police didn't stop him. So, today there is a yellow ribbon with the words crime scene surrounding a home. Today, there are two children who will grow up without a mother. Today, there is a man still fighting for his life. Today, there is another senseless death. Today, I grieve for a family I don't know. Today, they have hundreds of unanswered questions. Today, they want to know WHY.

I don't have an answer. I don't understand it either. I have gotten where I hate to watch the news or read the paper. Everyday, there is more and more senseless violence. More deaths that don't have to be. I wish I could climb up high enough for all the world to hear me shout, "STOP!" I wish I could scream that loud. A loud piercing scream that would get everyone's attention. But, there are no mountains high enough. No one voice loud enough.

I'm just frustrated. I can see so much wrong in the world and I don't understand why people don't open their eyes.

Lunch Take 2

I came home from work today starving. I decided a tuna salad sandwich sounded really good as it has been a while since I have had one. I dutifully and out of sheer politeness (because that's what mothers are supposed to do) asked Chowhound if he would like some. Of course he said yes. (He doesn't have that nickname for no reason). I fixed TWO cans of tuna complete with eggs, pickle relish, the works. Told Chowhound it was ready and made the mistake of turning my back. When I went to fix my sandwich the bowl was empty. I find him sitting in front of an empty plate with hamster cheeks. "Oh, did you want some?"

Ramen noodles are now cooking. Two packages. Maybe I will get some.

Oh boy has the last week been full of blog fodder. It's been so full there hasn't been an opportunity to sit down and take it all in much less write about it. I'll just hit the highlights.

Ground Zero. I was there. I leaned against the fence and fought back the tears. I thought about Michelle, her friends and the other people lost that day and I prayed. I quickly scanned the banner of the 2,996 names looking for the ones I learned about because of the project. My group was moving on and I had to catch up so I never found the names I searched for. But, in my mind I could see their faces and I renewed my vow never to forget. I never saw the towers in person. NYC was never on my list of must do. But, I am so glad that I had the opportunity to spend a few hours there.

Moon sighting. Daredevils. Yes, demons or something possessed that child during a band trip and he mooned the car behind the bus. It was okay in that it was some of the other band students. But, the old lady in the car next to it was slightly offended. She wrote down the bus number and reported it to the school transportation office. The Principal just told the Band Director to "deal with it". So, after the Band Director gained his composure and stiffled his snickering, he sternly warned Daredevil not to pull that stunt again. The discussion of this incident was a whole other fodder bit on it's own. Daredevil and Chowhound has consumed massive amounts of suger for dinner prior to this dialoge. It sounded like a scene out of Porkys.

"So your friend's ratted you out?"

"Must have. They didn't do a line up."

Yeah, I can just visualize the volunteers for that line up. Bend over
and pull down your pants and see if the witness can make a positive
identification.

"Did it have a mole on it?" Dardeveil confessed, "No moles, but it's
real hairy."

TMI big time. He is 19 now. I have no business knowing what his backside looks like. My days of wiping that have been long, long, long, gone.

New York Skyline

I flew into Newark, NJ yesterday. I am always in awe of the land below when flying. It is incredible to see the vastness of the forest, lakes, oceans and towns. I have flown into Miami, Jacksonville, and Los Angelos. These are the largest cities I have seen from the air. Nothing prepared me for the site of New York City from the air. I am just in awe. Of course, I have seen photos and shots of the city in Movies, but that can't replace seeing it in person. To quote Dax, "Just Damn."

Let's Say Thanks

Xerox sponsers the Let's Say Thanks Program. Go to the website, pick a postcard drawn by a kid, add a message and they will print it and send it to our soldiers. It doesn't take but just a minute and will most probably make a homesick soldier feel a little closer to home knowing that we do care.

Empty Nest coming too fast

It is quiet this morning. The house is empty except for the dog and me. Daredevil and Chowhound had a lock-in after the football game last night and then band practice until 8 tonight. I see a quiet evening too. They will hit the rack as soon as they get home.

It's quiet mornings like this that make me reflect. I think about how quickly the years are flying by. I know that soon I won't be laughing and "fussing" about the boys wrestling in the house. They won't be leaving their dirty clothes lying in the bathroom floor. Their rooms will stay clean. Their beds will be untouched. I know this day will be here before I know it.

improviser has already left. He has officially moved out. He took his bed. He didn't go far. He moved in with his Dad. He's 20. I guess I can handle that now. He has wanted to live with his Dad since we split up almost 15 years ago. I remember him talking to Daredevil. He told him he wanted to live with Dad and Daredevil replied that he wanted to stay with Mom. They were 4 and 6. They didn't realize they didn't have the choice. But, they discussed it anyway. When Daredevil said he wanted to live with me, Improviser goes, "But, then I won't have anyone to fight with. (Chowhound's) too little."

I joke around about being able to have a life when they move out. Finally, being able to figure out what I want to be when they/I grow up. But, the truth is, I'm scared. For over 20 years they have been my life. When I was tired and depressed and didn't think life was worth it, a pair of little arms would hug me and I knew I could do another tomorrow. I have needed my children as much if not more than they have needed me. They have been my friends as well as my children. I loved snuggling up at night reading books. Wrestling in the living room. Playing in the park in the rain. Jumping over waves at the beach. And now they have their own things to do and I have to find my interests. I believe that is one of the reasons I don't do everything with them now. I have to wean myself and get my own life.

Blogger Bug Battle

There's seems to be a sort of unofficial battle of the bug stories going through the blogdom. Bou and Sissy and T1Guy have all contributed. Bou cringed when one crawled on her in the middle of the night. Sissy actually smashed one in the back of her knee while sleeping. And T1G had a bug crawl in his ear.

My story is so disgusting; I gag just thinking about it. And I really can't believe I am posting this for all to see. But, considering my vast readership, I guess I am safe against total public humiliation.

A few years ago, I was over some friends' house shooting skeet and drinking. Yes, wonderful combination I know. But, it was a blast and believe it or not we saved most of the drinking for after dark around the bon fire. I think the drinking is what saved me from losing my mind later. Anyway, it hit the time of day to put away the guns and the lite alcohol and bring out the strong stuff. My boyfriend at the time, was actually being sweet and went in these friend's house to find me a cup and fix a white Russian for me. The first one and the second one went down smooth. It wasn't until the ice melted good and the third drink that I finally got to the bottom of the glass. I felt something in my mouth. I spit out a frickin German cock roach. Bleh. Absolutely disgusting. I am surprised I didn't heave my guts to the ground. A gallon of mouthwash did not make me feel any better. Needless to say, I always took my own cup no matter where I went after that.

I think I'll go throw up now and down another gallon of mouthwash.

Minority thinking

I found myself in the minority today.

One of the moms I know was complaining about her son's teacher. Her son who is 11 and in the 6th grade failed a spelling test. It wasn't because of his spelling. He failed because of capitalization (putting it when it didn't belong) and sloppy or unreadable answers (letters written on top of other letters). She raised hell with the Principal. She did not go to the teacher and ask her for her explanation. The principal sided with the parent and made the teacher change the grade.

I felt that this was wrong of the parent and the principal. I feel that they are undermining the teacher's authority. She is trying to establish a precedent and make the students concentrate on their penmenship as well as spelling. If she can't read it, how does she know it is right?

Now, this child has the opinion that the teacher is wrong. And if he disagrees with her rules all he has to do is cry to momma and she will fix it. This child has already had two rounds of in-school suspension due to behavior problems. I see a correlation here.

But, I was the only one out of five people in on this discussion that saw that point of view. Everyone else sided with the Mom. Is my thinking off base? Am I missing something? Or was I just raised differently?

I can remember words being marked wrong or at least points taken off if it was unreadable. Maybe my opinion just comes from my own personal experience. I know that there are some inept teachers but I truly believe they are far and few between. If you have a problem with the teacher or don't understand why she did something, I think she should be confronted first. Don't go over her head without giving her the benefit of discussion.

What is your opinion?

Head and Body not in synch

It's hell to get old. Once I hit 40, that was it. My body went on strike. Everything started hurting and reminding me I wasn't a teenager any more. But, some where down the line my mind didn't get the memo. In my head, I still invincible. Because of these two not being in synch, I'm limping around today going, "What the hell was I thinking?"

Daredevil had a few friends over for his birthday party yesterday. They were all out in the front yard kicking the soccer ball around. Yeah, What the hell was I thinking is correct. I had a blast with them playing keep away from me. Occasionally, I'd get lucky and snag the ball. One time Daredevil tried to steal the ball back from me and I successfully blocked his kick with my ankle. Holy Crap. Now, I understand the need for shin guards.

I want the milk and candy

Foget calgon. I want what they used in experiment #3.

Power Color

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

I'll agree with this and I love that color.

It's funny, though, how my taste in colors has changed throughout the years. I remember as a child I loved yellow. My sisters and I all had different colored mugs when we were little. Mine was yellow. I'm sure mom did it so we didn't argue and whine, "she's gooooooooooot myyyyyyyy cuuuuuppppp." And being the youngest, I probably got stuck with what was left over. But, still yellow was my color. I have a picture of me when I was about 8 wearing a bright, solid yellow shirt with bright green pants. Yeah, I was big into fashion. I loved the brightness. It was clean and fresh like sunshine. It represented goodness and love. Hope.

I don't remember having a favorite color when I was a teenager. I remember my wardrobe was all bright, cheery colors. I do remember hating black. I would not buy nor wear anything black. I'm not sure why but I know I detested it. Maybe it seemed sinister and evil. When I foolishly got married at 18, I made him wear a white tux because I hated black that much. And as much as I hated black, he loved it. I should have known that wouldn't last.

In my mid-twenties when my life seemed to be falling apart, red was my power color. It made me feel strong and confident. I wore a red dress to court when I testified against my step-father. I don't know if red was a great color for a witness but it empowered me. It gave me the strength to walk into a room full of strangers with all ears and eyes focused on me. Red stayed my color for years.

Somewhere along the way, green slipped in and replaced the boldness of red. It is still strong but in a quiet way. Maybe green is the mature color of the rainbow. The color of life. The first sign of a new beginning like the grass and leaves in spring.

As I write this post, I am reminded of the song Something in Red by Lorrie Morgan

I'm looking for something in red
Something that's shocking to turn someone's head
Strapless and sequined and cut down to there
Stockings and garters and lace underwear
The guaranteed number to knock the men dead
I'm looking for something in red

I'm looking for something in green
something to out do an ex-high school queen
Jealousy comes in the color of jade
Do you have some pumps and a purse in this shade
And a perfume that whispers "Please come back to me"
I'm looking for something in green

I'm looking for something in white
Something that shimmers in soft candlelight
Everyone calls us the most perfect pair
Should I wear a veil or a rose in my hair
Well, the train must be long and the waist must be tight
I'm looking for something in white

I'm looking for something in blue
Something real tiny, the baby's brand new
He has his father's nose and his chin
We once were hot lovers-Now we're more like friends
Don't tell me that's just what old married folk do
I'm looking for something in blue

I'm looking for something in red
Like the one that wore when I first turned his head
Strapless and sequined and cut down to there
Just a size larger than I wore last year
The guaranteed number to knock the man dead

I'm looking for something
I've gotta have something
I'm looking for something in red.

Male alterations

I walked out into the garage this morning and caught Chowhound and Daredevil mending Chowhound's shirt. With a stapler! Anyone want to buy a sewing machine? I obviously don't need it.

There's nothin' to Plunder

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years (and a day) too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.

Well, I'm on top of things as usual. So, much for pirates day. But, I did find a cool name thanks to my blog sister, Tink.

Your Pirate Name Is...

Skull Crusher Busty Bertha

What's" Your Pirate Name?

Homecoming Week

This ought to be an interesting week. It's homecoming. Today is Pajama Day. I am so glad I am not a teacher at my kids' school. Whoever thought this was a good idea was out of their friggin mind.

At first, Daredevil wasn't going to participate in this. Notice I said, "At First." My intitial thoughts were, "Thank goodness. I guess the boy does have some sense." You see, he doesn't own pajamas. He wears boxers. I guess. I don't ask. I don't want to know. He is almost 19. But, then he decided on an outfit. He wore his bathrobe over his regular clothes. That's fine. I can deal with it. I guess. He has been practicing flashing. And the fact that he is wearing tennis shoes with them makes this a fantastic outfit (in his eyes). Ack.

Now, we get to Chowhound and his warped sense of humor. Chowhound is the only one of my boys who likes wearing pajama pants and owns a pair. He intends on wearing them to school today. I never in my life thought they would be worn outside this house. If I had, I probably wouldn't not have let him get them. They are "Beer Nut" pajama pants that say "Sweet and Salty". I can so see this getting perverted in the teenage world. Double Ack.

I better check and see what the other dress up days are this week. I can see blog fodder coming my way in droves. I sure hope I don't get any phones calls today.

Hotel vs Motel

Chowhound wanted to know the difference between a Hotel and a Motel. But, before I had a chance to say anything he offered his opinion. "I think a HOtel is where the Ho's go and a MOtel is where MOst other people go." Holy Crap. I about spit my lemonade out. I should know better than to have dinner conversations with my kids.

Breaking Resolutions

I'm off to break one of my New Year's Resolutions: to procrastinate. Yes, I'm dreadfully ashamed that I can not bear it any longer. I have kept my promise long enough today I have to break it.

I have been doing an online management program. Yes, it is as boring as it sounds. Five of the six courses in the program have been completed. One remains taunting and teasing me. I have done about half of it. It is a fine and uplifting course in Inventory Management and Control. It isn't that controlling inventory is difficult but on paper they sure want you think you need to know more than pluses and minuses. I'm sure it was someone with about a dozen letters after their name.

Today, I am bound and determined to put this nagging course behind me. So, that tomorrow I have a clean conscience and can start on the other 5 million half-finished projects I have. I love jumping into something and getting the bulk done but when it comes to the fine, boring, tedious details I have a slight tendency to get distracted and move on to something more exciting. I probably need to delve into that more because I think it applies to my relationships as well.

Oh, well. I'm off to the library so I can pretend to concentrate without the laundry, cooking, kids, dogs, and blogs interrupting and tempting me.

Book Meme

I leave town for R &R and I get hit with homework while I'm gone. Thanks "Mom".

1) A book that changed my life:

The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

2) A book I've read more than once:

The Little Prince. This is my favorite book. It is a reminder to never grow up entirely.

Other books I've read over and over and over: children's books (I think I've read every Dr. Suess book about a million times)

Anything else I've read more than once was by accident because I didn't remember I read it or because I didn't have anything new to read.

3) A book I'd take to a desert island:

How to build a boat from nothing.

4) A book that made me laugh:

Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich
Don't Stop the Carnival by Herman Wouk

5) A book that made me cry:

I know there are some but I can't immediately recall which ones.

6) A book I wish had been written:

Children's Remote Control Operator's manual.

7) A book that should never have been written:

Help me Be Good series. A series of children's books that should have been named "Help me be Bad". They gave my boys ideas of things to do to get into trouble instead of teaching them what not to do. I promptly threw these books out.

8) A book I'm currently reading:

Just finished Dark Harbor by Stuart Woods.

9) A book I'm planning to read:

Not sure. I'm searching. Any suggestions.

10) Five people I'll send these questions on to: Volunteers only.

Somebody's 40

My BGGD (BlogGreatGrandDaddy) Harvey is 40. Happy Birthday. Last year, he requested "boobies" for his birthday. This year his requested theme is blue. So, I tried very hard to incorporate the two.

So, I googled "blue boobies" and got these cute little fellows:



While technically it's correct, it's just not what I picture Harvey chasing around the backyard.

So, then I tried "blue knockers"



Well. That "ain't quite right." Back to the Google board. Let's just quit playing with words and go for the gusto.

Let's try "blue tits".



Apparently, the person who named birds was away from home a little too much. He was probably thinking about THIS. Oh, well sorry BGGD. I couldn't find you a gift this year. But, I tried. Happy birthday anyway.

Patrick O'Keefe

Patrick O'Keefe, of Oakdale, New York is one of 2,966 that are being remembered today. He was one of the firefighters who was just doing his job that day. He was only 44.

Shortly after that tragic day, GermanTown Academy held a Middle School Dance and donated the proceeds to FDNY Rescue 1 and particularly in honor of Patrick. His sister-in-law wrote a letter to the class and included a wonderful tribute by Patrick's niece.

The part of the tribute that captured my heart the most said, "Pat, was a giver. He gave us all the gift of laughter. He gave us the gift of family and true friendship. Blue waters, blue skies, seen through those blue eyes-he subconsciously taught so many the true meaning of 'smooth sailing'.

It's not what lies before us and it's not what lays ahead, but more that lies within us that truly matters in our lifetime. You are within us Pat--in our hearts and souls as we endeavor to live as you did -filled with life, love, and laughter. We miss you, Pat."

Patrick was one of the everyday heros who put his life second to all those he was sent to rescue. I'm sure it never occurred to him to turn back or not to do his job. There are probably some people who are at home with their families today because of him. This act of courage demonstrates his selflessness. He gave his life so that others could live. He fought and died in a war against terror without realizing he was a soldier.

Thank you, Patrick. We will not forget.

*I am not an offical participant of the 2,996 project. But, As I scrolled through randomly picking names, I came across Patrick. While the person who was chosen to pay tribute to him wrote a wonderful piece on that day, she did not mention Patrick (or had not posted it at the time I checked). So, I felt compelled to pay tribute to him. I didn't have a lot of time to research and find out about his life, but what I did find out was moving especially since he was one of the firefighters. I didn't want Patrick left out.

Virtual Memorial

If you would like to light a candle and leave a message this is an awesome site.

Virtual Memorial

NEVER FORGET

2,996

Urgent Request

I have a special request for everyone. Please help. As you know, my nephew is away at Paris Island completing Marine bootcamp. He only has a few more weeks to go but it is getting tough. He sent a letter to his mom and begged her to please have everyone send him letters of encouragement. He says it will help to have something to take his mind off things there. He says it is a "crazy place".

So, please, if you could jot down a few words of encouragement for Recruit Gene and e-mail the letters to me at chaos.2.serendipity@gmail.com I will print them and send them to him. I thought it would be encouraging to know that people who don't even know him support what he is doing. I know that some of you out there have endured bootcamp and can empathize. I appreciate anything. Words of encouragement. Jokes. Bootcamp horror stories. Anything to help get him through. Thank you.

Memorable movies--obviously not

My memory is getting worse by the day. I hate this. I realize it more and more. The other night I rented some movies. I don't do this on a regular basis because my attention span is poor and I either don't sit still and end up puttering around the house during the movie and missing parts of it or I fall asleep. It has to be a very intriguing plot to keep my attention. There are very few movies that fall into this category.

So, Daredevil, Chowhound and I went to the video store and each chose a movie. I picked Inside Man. The shop owner recommended the movie. I read the jacket and thought it sounded good. We get home. Daredevil opens the DVD player. Pulls out a disc and says, "Hey, Mom. Guess what was in the DVD player?" Yep. You guessed it. Inside Man. We own the stupid movie. It was the last movie I watched. Improviser bought it. I have watched it twice. Yet, I couldn't remember it at the time. I felt so stupid. I went back to the video store and sheepishly asked if I could trade it for something else. I admitted to her that I owned a copy. She got a good chuckle out of it. But, I sure felt like an idiot.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I had to take the Personality Test too.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

It's pretty accurate. Although, I am a very conscientious person. Too much for my own good sometimes. It really gets in the way. But, other than that the test describes me.

Winners

Chowhound had a cross country meet this weekend. It was a huge invitational. There must have been well over 1000 high school kids competing in all the events combined (girls, boys, JV and Varsity). I was amazed at the turn out. Some parents gripe about their teenagers sleeping all weekend and here were all these kids choosing to run 3.1 miles at 8 am on a Saturday. I was the one wanted to sleep in.

These kids are amazing. I am not a runner. I have tried it but my body revolts. I stick with roller blades, bicycles or elliptical machines. Anything to ease the impact on my joints. So, to see these teenagers volunteering to sweat profusely and push their bodies at that time of morning is simply amazing. I congratulate each and everyone of them just for showing up. They are all winners in my book.

However, there were a few that stuck out from the crowd yesterday. Two that struck a cord in my heart and made me want to cry. They weren't the leaders of the pack. They both went in knowing that they wouldn't come in first. They weren't competing against others. Their opponent were much tougher. They fought against themselves.

One girl fought against her weight. I admire her strength and determination. Physically, she was obviously not a runner like the rest of the kids. But, she was there. She sweated. She struggled. She finished. She is a winner. It takes great guts and determination to do something when you know that you will stick out of the crowd. But, she chose to do it anyhow. What courage! The other parent I was talking to commented that she would never have put herself in that position. She couldn't face the humiliation of coming in last and standing out from the crowd because of her weight. That my friends, is what is going to make the difference in this young girl's life. She choose to do what others are embarrassed to do. I applaud her. She will go far in life.

The other big winner of the day took me by surprise. Chowhound had finished his run and we were heading back to our tent. We stopped at the track to wait on a few runners. We waited at the final turn in the track. Just one turn and one straight away to go. As we waited and watched, I heard a few kids start cheering for one particular boy. He was a little bitty boy. He didn't look like an athlete. He was walking. He was fighting back tears. I just wanted to go hug him. I felt so bad for him. His chest was heaving for air. You could see the anguish and grief in his face. He didn't want to cry in front of all these people. The other kids from his team kept cheering him on and then slowly everyone around us starting cheering for this kid. He kept walking. As he walked around the bend of the track I noticed what made him so special. He had an inhaler in his hand. This kid had asthma or something and yet he still competed in an event that requires a great deal of something he couldn't get. Oxygen. Wow. What a trouper! He started a slow jog and finished the race. Just Wow. I really fought back the tears.

These two are truly winners. Their prizes won't be a trophy or anything they can pin to their chest or wear around their necks. But, something far greater in value. Self respect. Honor. These kids have guts. They have what it takes to go against the odds. They have courage.

Home again, home again

I'm alive and well. I'll start posting adventures as soon as I beat them out of the boys. I'm sure they created all kinds of blog fodder while I was gone, now I just have to find out what it was. Details soon.

Alive and well in Key West

We made it to Key West. I'll post adventures later.

Cross County Team and STD

I love conversations with my boys. I never know what to expect. First off, stories usually start with an ending and then work backwards to the beginning.

Now, please remember I am trying to drive during this conversation. Chowhound is in the passenger seat and Daredevil is in the back.

Chowhound: Did I tell you what the cross county team found the first day of practice?

Me: Yeah, a (stuffed toy) bear.

Chowhound: Did I tell you what we named it?

Me: Ya'll named the bear?

Chowhound: Yeah. STD.

Daredevil is rolling in the back seat choking out STD in fits of disbelief.

Me (rolling my eyes and dreading the answer): STD? Why?

Chowhound: SUPER TOUGH DUDE! I can see all of the cross country team huddled before the meet and then yelling STD. I don't think the coach would like it but it would be funny.

My children have a sick sense of humor. They are so wrong.

Somehow this lead into stupid joke time:

Daredevil: A priest walks into a bar. Ouch.

Boo. Hiss. Boo. Throw tomatos. Something. Chowhound retorts with: What was Beetoveen's favorite fruit? Baa Naa Naa Naa

Ack! Do you see what I have to live with?

This isn't good

No matter which computer model you look at, Ernesto is headed to Florida. He should only be a minor Hurricane by standards, but he is a major pain in my a$$. I have a 7am flight to Ft. Lauderdale Thursday morning with plans to drive to Key West for the weekend with my Sweetie. He is scheduled to have shoulder surgery Wednesday and he thought that Key West would be a great place to recuperate. Maybe Ernesto will speed up and move out of Florida or just take a wide right and miss us altogether. The good news is maybe the Hurricane will chase all the other tourist out of Key West and the weather will be clear for our trip.


I am trying to be optimistic. This is not the first or second or third hurricane that has threatened one of my rendezvous with my Sweetie. We always seem to get through it and we will this time too. But, I am stressed now.

Ack. I hate hurricanes.

Happy Blogiversary

VWBug's blog is 2 years old. I'm sure she forgot since she didn't post about it. So, I will.

VW is a very special person. I have known her most of my life. There were years when we lost touch just because that is how life is sometimes. But, that changed two years ago when she started blogging. Through her words and pictures she has given me and the rest of the world a front row seat into her life. Blogs are personal. They are touching. They become part of who we are and introduce us to others who share our trial and tribulations and others who don't but can offer support.


We have listened to VW lose her mind from sleep deprivation. We watched two babies grow from tiny tots to handsome young boys. (I can't believe how they have grown.) I'm sure I wasn't the only one who cried when she lost her Dad. And Wednesday are no longer dreaded since wait in anticipation of Humor for Dreaded Wednesdays.

There's a lot more I could write and links I could add but time is short so I'll just cut to the chase. Thank you VW for sharing and including us in your life. I'm sure I speak for a bunch of people, We love you and cherish your boys and your blog. Here's to another year of blogging. I hope you get some much deserved "me" time now that school has started and some much needed sleep.

Congratulations.

A Day off?

I can't believe I am not working today. No OT for me this weekend. I get to relax and...

go car shopping and make the boys clean their rooms and the yards and I get to pay bills and grocery shop and clean house and wash the dog and the car and finish painting and...

wait a minute, on second thought maybe I will go to work.

Tink's Tribute

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINK!

Ok, here comes the cake. Everyone get ready to sing...


Happy Birthday to You...Happy Birthday to You...
(I don't hear anybody singing except me...come on folks...louder)

Oh well, I'll work on the uncooperative choir group later. Lets get ready to party blogger style.



Now that your in party mode



lets bring on the presents.



Yep. That's right. I got you two dalmations for your birthday. Don't see 'em. Look again. and again. and again. Keep looking I'm sure you'll find them soon.

Tinks turning Twenty....

...plus thirty. Happy Birthday Tink! (I know it's not officially until tomorrow but it seems your "Mom"/Sis is in fact more forgetful than you. See youth isn't everything.)

I have presents but you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Bootcamp Update

Just a little update on my nephew and his wonderful adventures in Marine Bootcamp. He is at Parris Island with an anticipated graduation date of Oct. 6. My sister has been reading me his letters. I want copies of them, they are hilarious. You have to understand his warped, quiet sense of humor to really appreciate them. The first letter started out something like this, "This place SUCKS! But they gave me a kickass (something-something)M-16." Then after talking about the boys who have already dropped out and cried, he raves about the food. He sounded absolutely shocked that he could have waffles and pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Like my sister never cooked anything for him. He's a beanpole so he doesn't have to worry about overeating.

In his latest letter he talks about the confidence course. When he finished climbing the rope on his first attempt, the DI told him to do it again because he did it too fast. Then he had to do it again because he didn't yell loud enough. All total he had to do it 7 times in a row.

It sounds like he is actually enjoying it. He doesn't complain without finding something good to counter it with.

My sister is really proud as she should be. I am very proud of him too. I'll keep ya'll posted and ya'll keep encouraging thoughts heading his direction.

Computer Geeks vs Psycho Freaks

There must be a really fine line that distinguishes whether you become a computer wizard or a serial killer. Otherwise, why would anyone even come up with this? Out of ten people can you pick out which are killers and which are computer language geniuses?

How come...

something like this can't ever happen to me?

Something is wrong with the aging process

I am officially getting old. I guess I can't deny it any longer (but I will anyhow).

I now have a son in COLLEGE. It hit me a few weeks ago when I started to say, "I have 3 teenage boys" and had to correct myself. Improviser is not a teenager anymore. He is 20 and he is in college. I only have two teenagers. How can that be? I'm only twenty-something, right? I don't feel any older than I've felt all my life. When did this happen? How did my children get older than me. Something ain't right here.! I'm telling you. It just ain't right.

Carnival of Recipes is UP

Time to go BBQing. In the Headlights is hosting the carnival this week. Last week as a joke I had Elephant Stew. This week she has a submission for a 50lb hog. No kidding. Really. Go check it out. Now you know what to cook for Labor Day.

Well, I'm jotting down my grocery list and heading to the store.

I wonder how long it would take Chowhound to eat a whole hog and how long before he got hungry again? Probably not long on both accounts.

ACK!

It's a Monday and I woke up with a headache. (and blogger won't let me post an image). This can't be a good sign.

TMI or just needing an ear?

Chowhound and I stopped in at Subway for dinner last night. We just needed a quick bite between band practice and open house. There was a young man making the orders and an older woman working the cash register. Chowhound placed his order, foot long Bourbon Chicken. No problem. Then, the trouble started. I asked for a chicken terriyaki salad. He got this blank look on his face and asked "What kind of bread do you want that on?" My turn for the facial expression. "It's a salad. No bread." His expression gets even more confused looking. "What's that?" I'm thinking, "hello, you know the green leafy good for you stuff that goes in a bowl" that and about a half dozen adjectives to describe this kid. Luckily, the woman piped in with an explanation, "It's his second day on the job." She then points out the three foot by eight foot menu on the wall and shows him what they sell. I'm thinking that should have been covered in day one of Subway101. But, hey no sweat, I'm forgiving. The lady tells me she will make my salad after she finishes ringing up the other 4 witnesses. Okay. I can deal with that.

While all of this is going on, the woman's husband comes in and brings groceries. He is reaching over the end of the counter trying to put them in the back. The young man finally helps him out of takes the plastic bags to the back. Then, a discussion develops about how the man would get home. All the while I'm standing there patiently starving and running out of time before the Open House at the school while Chowhound is sitting behind me wolfing down on his footlong. Oh, good, a decision is made. The man and boy leave after retrieving the Winn Dixie bag that was put in the back in less than 10 minutes earlier. Now maybe I can get my dinner.

The woman starts on my salad. She puts the lettuce in the bowl and then leans forward and whispers, "I found a lump in my breast this morning." I'm floored. I wasn't expecting that. And then she stops making my salad and proceeds to give me details. Now, this is not a place I frequent. I have never seen this lady in my life. We are not friends or even acquaintances. I'm starving and she has my dinner in her hands. But, although I have never had to worry about a breast lump I can certainly emphasize. I'm sure she is worried and just needed to express that. So, I offer my encouragement that hopefully it would be nothing. She then gives me her medical history. She has had lumps before. They were all benign. She has had uterine cancer and had all those parts taken out. The free clinic will be open this Saturday so she can go to the doctor. She needs to get her heart meds anyhow. I now probably know about as much as her doctor.

All the while, I am still withering away while drooling over my anticipated dinner. It is still just a newborn bowl of lettuce waiting to bloom into a full blown salad. It is on the other side of the sneeze glass just taunting me. Meanwhile, behind me Chowhound is ready to leave as we now have five minutes to get to the school. We had more than an hour for dinner when we started. I eventually get my salad, scarf it down, and head out the door with a wave and a good luck.

Now, I listened to the woman because obviously she was worried but I just couldn't help but think that this was way too much info. Maybe it's just me but it didn't seem like appropriate counter chit-chat. Am I too callous and cold. I was polite to the lady but my thoughts and actions were not in synch with one another.

And to top it all off, I was late for 1st period. I was immediately transformed into the teenage humiliated and scorned for walking in late and disrupting the class. This didn't make a good impression.

Prayers for Kendra and Maliyah

This is truly a remarkable story. Kendra and Maliyah Herrin have been separated after sharing a body for 4 years. Their parents and family have been posting updates during the 26 hour surgery. I fought back the tears as I read through their notes. This must be an incredibly strong family. First, to have to make a decision like they did and then to sit and wait during the surgery. The girls still have a long way to go. Please put them in your thoughts and prayers. There is strength in numbers.

School Carnival of Recipes Time

Guess what time of year it is again. Yep. You're right. Back to School Time.

So, Welcome to the Little Red School House. Today we are featuring the Carnival of Recipes. No school bought lunches here today. Why not, you ask?


There's a New Cook in the Cafeteria(by Bruce Lansky)Good morning, staff and students.We have a brand new cook.And that's why our lunch menuwill have a brand new look.
To make a good impression,our cook's prepared a treat:your choice of snapping turtle soupor deep-fried monkey meat.
If you're a vegetarian,we have good news today:she's serving pickled cauliflowerand jellyfish soufflé.
And for dessert our cook has madea recipe from France:I'm sure you'll all want seconds-of chocolate-covered ants.
I hope you like this gourmet feast.I hope you won't complain.But if you do we'll have to bringour old cook back again.
Now let's open our lunch boxes and take a peek inside. What kind of goodies did your mom or dad pack and what can we trade?

Mmmmmmmmm. Look in Adam's ( Men In Aprons) Minnie Mouse Thermos. He has Rice Pudding with Golden Raisins. He says it's soul food. "I like my pudding hot, steaming hot, the way it should be. And in this case, rice pudding is a food that can reach down into the core of your soul and warm it up."

Oh, that sounds so delicious.

So much in fact that VWBug of One Happy Dog Speaks is opening up her VW Van Lunch Box and starting negotiations.

She is offering Spicy Chicken and Ramen Noodles.

This was actually a Spicy Shrimp and Noodles recipe from Campbell's Fabulous One-Dish recipes that she changed to Chicken.

But, wait a minute.

Oh, look! Who's Yogi Bear Lunch box is that? Why, that's Mama Squirrel's of Dewey's Treehouse. Yes, it's divine fate (or is it) that she brought Serendipity (and Chicken recipe) today. At least that's what she's calling it. The Deputy Headmistress might disagree. (Her version is later).

That sounds like it will go fabulous with Trinity Prep School's Texas Caviar. She even offers a cheater's version. She says it the "Lazy Version". But, we all know that really means.

Those two just might have to go visit the Principal after lunch.

Now, who has those fritos?

Does Everything and Nothing have them? No, but she has some scrumptious looking Grilled Corn Salad. She even has make ahead directions. Finally, a student who likes to be prepared.

Now, Amy of Mom Advice knows what every kids likes. Pizza. She advises this pizza dough recipe is for the bread machine. She states. "I enjoy homemade bread and pizza, but I will not invest the time (at this point in my life) to knead & roll dough for hours. I think that is why I appreciated this recipe so much- it was easy for even the novice dough roller or whatever you would like to call me!" We call her a star student. What kid doesn't like pizza?!

Now, Kicking over my Traces is tempting everyone with Spice Cake. This version has photos.

Seriously Good Kevin is sitting next to her wanting a piece of her cake to go with his Buttermilk/Pineapple Sherbet. He reminds us of why the hand crank ice cream maker is a thing of the past. And, instead offers us a non-crank method for homemade icecream. Just some periodic stirring involved. That sounds like a project for the entire class.

Now, that our appetite has been spoiled with sweets lets rope in some good for you stuff. In the Headlights has Polynesian Chicken in her Roy Rogers/Dale Evans Lunch box. Yum. This sounds like it would go wonderfully paired with the Sherbet for dessert. She does note a couple of things though. "The first thing I noticed when typing this is the lack of fresh ingredients. I am sure you could substitute fresh ginger and onion, and no harm would come to the recipe."

Also, "The other thing was that I have never in my life put so many semi-colons into a single paragraph." We'll send her to English class immediately after lunch.

Oh, I didn't realize the Deputy HeadMistress was here today. She brought Cold peanut Chicken and Soba Noodle Salad. One of our other students today cheated off another one of her recipes earlier. Let's help Mama Squirrel out and eat up all those Soba Noodles. We would hate to see her get fifty lashes with a wet soba noodle.

Now, that Triticale has looked in almost everyone's lunch boxes. He is really trying to work a deal. He evidently has a practical and mean mother. He has Rye Bundles. Who wants to trade for a Liverwurst and onion sandwich?

Keewee's over in the Corner hiding. She doesn't want to share her Peanut Butter Fudge Brownies with anyone. I certainly don't blame her. I would keep them all to myself too.

Wait a minute. Nobody's dismissed yet. I almost forgot to post my recipe.

ELEPHANT STEW

1 Elephant, Medium size
2 rabbits (optional)
gravy


Cut elephant into bite size pieces and cover with gravy

Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees F.

This elephant stew serves 3,800 adults and 35 children.

If more are expected, two rabbits may be added.

Do this only if absolute necessary, as most people do not like to find a hare in their stew.

Okay. Lunch is over. I appreciate everyone who shared in our lunch trade today. If you ended up with the same lunch you brought, then try making these at home. Good luck. Now get back to class and remember to...

Bring Your Own Lunch

by Bruce Lansky

Don't eat school lunches-

not even a lick.

They might make you nauseous.

They might make you sick.

Just take a small bite and

you'll start to feel ill.

If the veggies don't get you,

the meatloaf sure will.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

I hate this time of year trying to get ready for back to school. Granted it is not near as bad as when the boys were in elementary school and you had a $500 list of items they needed. I was always amazed that they wanted soap and paper towels and tissues. I have boys and I have never seen them use those things. They last forever in my house. The schools should have 1,000,000,000,000 bottles of that junk now. Does soap have an expiration date? I swear my boys must be allgergic to it.

Oh, well. I'm rambling. Hope everyone is doing well and surviving this dreaded season of school shopping. I'm off to finish my errands.

Can't win the Martha battle

I was wide awake at 4:00 this morning. It's Saturday, I know. Go figure. I still had to be at work at 7am, but I figured I would treat Chowhound to breakfast this morning since my motherly qualities have been questioned. I baked Strawberry Muffins before I went to work. I would like to brag that I hand picked fresh strawberries and made these from scratch, but I can't. Martha White and 1/2 cup of milk is about all I'm good for at 5am. I made the effort nonetheless and left a note beside them.















When I came home, I found this:














Let's see what he says when I don't fix him any dinner tonight. Guess who will be sucking up then!

Brat.

Fake Mother discovered

My mothering inadequacies have been discovered. Chowhound witnessed a "real mom" and now knows that I have been faking it all these years. He stayed over at a band mate's house the other night and came home with stories that were horror to my ears.

"His mom COOKED us breakfast. She made my lunch. She even washed out my water cooler."

OMG and this was on a week day too!

So, I asked, "Does she have to be at work at 7am?"

"Uh, No."

"Is she a single parent?"

"Uh, No."

"Are you arms broke?"

He packed his own lunch the next morning.

I went spying into his cooler to see if he had bothered to put in anything but snacks. I was caught in the act. He glared at me, "If you want to know what's in my lunch, then you should make it."

I'm going to wring his neck and we won't have to worry about packing lunches anymore.

It's a conspiracy

I was ambushed by life and tied up, but I'm still alive. Ransom demands are being negotiated. I hope someone pays them and I get freed soon.

Warning/Disclaimer

Red Tent Fight Club Warning.

She's back!

I hereby am not responsible for any actions for the next several days. That includes written, verbal, gestures and any non-verbals that wretched woman pretending to be me may use.

Re-energized

It is amazing to have energy again. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling or how long until I started feeling better. The doctors have finished probing and pricking and coming back with normal test results. I don't not have MS or a brain tumor. Possible bladder infection. Antibiotics given. I don't know if that is what is doing the trick. Or some of the stress is gone worrying about the unknown. They have concluded that they believe I have Fibromyalgia. I'm researching it to see if I come to the same conclusion. If anyone has any information, please pass it on.

I'm off to work in the yard.

In Bou's dreams

This game is dedicated to Boudicca. It would only have been better if it had been those "f***ing fish".

Do you remember these?

I wonder if it will answer that question correctly?

What's your fortune?

Just wondering

Why is it that the dog won't eat the spilled dogfood off the floor until it is swept up into a pile of dirt?

Can I have my next house with plastic furniture, tile floors and walls and drains in each room so I could just haul a hose in and clean instead of dusting?

Just wondering.

Marine Protege for T1G

Happy Birthday T1Uncle. I wasn't sure what to get you so in coincidence and tribute my nephew leaves for Marine Bootcamp today. HooRaa. Also, his birthday was yesterday. So for your birthday I give you a protege. You can send advice via me and tell him how to be a great Marine. Jarhead dos and don'ts.

Crab Cay

This is Crab Cay, Exuma, Bahamas. It's a beautiful little island about a mile from Great Exuma. It is only accessible by boat. The ruins are what is left of an estate built in the late 1700's by botanist William Walker.

Don't get fooled by the great write up on the link I provided. It makes it sound like it's ready to move into. In fact the only part of the development and deal that was approved by the Bahamian government in 2003 that is completed are the lot # signs.

Male vs Female difference

So, I don't have you guys mad at me for the last post. I've discovered the difference between men and woman and doing stupid things. Men do it on purpose. To some women it just comes naturally.

Testosterone vs Roman Candles

I can't frickin believe this. Improviser and Chowhound just asked my permission to shoot roman candles at each other. I'm not shocked that they want to shoot them at each other. I'm shocked that they asked. No frickin way! Did they honestly think I'd clap my hands together, get a big Viagra Bob smile and say, "Of course boys. Sounds like a wonderful idea to me. Have fun and be safe." Holy crap.

Me: Hell no. Why do you want to shoot roman candles at each other?

Chowhound: Because it's fun.

Me: It's not fun it's stupid. I am not carting a smoldering child into the emergency room and announce that they had parental permission to be idiots.

Chowhound: We'll tell them Dad gave us permission. Let's ask him. (and he picks up the phone).

Are testicles and the stupid gene connected? There has to be DNA evidence to back this up. I just know it. I swear you never see youtube videos of females shooting crap at each other. Chowhound said stupid people have fun. Stupid people get Darwin awards.

I know as soon as Daredevil gets home they will all disappear. And I will know what they are doing. ARRRRRRRR! Males.

Weather Pixie hates AZ too

I went over to Sissy's place at "and what Next" and got a good chuckle. She hasn't been exaggerating about how miserably hot it is over there. Even her weather pixie agrees. She is naked (appropriate parts blacked out for you perverts) and it says "TOO DAMN HOT"! Now you know it's hot when your weather pixie takes off all her clothes.

I arrived, finally

I arrived safely at my Sweetie's. A day late but I'm beginning to get used to that. He's been teasing me that people from Europe can get here in a day and it takes me two days from Florida. Go figure. But, then again I do have to travel through a foreign country to get here. Miami is a foreign country, right? I know it has to be because I can't understand anyone there.

Once again, American Airlines decided to treat me to an all expense paid night in Miami. It's kind of them don't you think? Usually, they do it for me for my birthday (two years in a row) so this time was a suprise since my birthday isn't until October. Once, they were kind enough to give me an extra night with my Sweetie. We enjoyed that but my work wasn't so happy that I took an extra day off.

Oh well, I'm finally here and that's all that matters.

Almost Gone

Passport: Check

Ticket: Electronic

PADI dive card: Check

bathing suit: Check

Lingerie: Check

Malaria pills: Check

I'm off to the Bahamas to spend some quality time with my Sweetie.

Husband material in training

Conversation with Chowhound over dinner (of course)

Me: I saw Mrs. So and So when I was getting my hair colored today.

Chowhound: *Gulp* You got your hair colored?

Me: Yeah. Can't you tell?

Chowhound: *silence*

Me: Wasted my money, huh?

Chowhound: Pretty much.

Yeah, he's husband material already. He'll make some woman really happy.

Theme song of our day: American Idiot

It's been a while since I've had to make an Emergency Room visit. Well, Daredevil took care of that today. Luckily, it wasn't a bad slice. Just needed a few stitches in his thumb. Workman's comp will take care of everything. If his work is like mine, box cutters will be banned.

It sounds sick to say, but this was a fun emergency room visit. We were cracking up laughing almost the entire time there.

The place isn't very big and it's in a small backwoods town. (If it had been serious we wouldn't have been there.) Daredevil was signing the admittance forms and I was sitting close to him in the waiting room area. There were five people in the waiting room, including Daredevil and I. One man got a call on his cell phone. It was difficult not to listen as this is probably a 10 x 10 room. His first conversation was short, "I'm at the emergency room. Because of you." End of conversation. Now, there were no immediate signs of problems. No blood, no bandages, no vomit pail like the guy sitting next to me. But, he did look stressed. He kept resting his cheek on his palm. The second conversation explained it all.

"I'm at the emergency room"

"I let your stupid cousin Fred try to pull out my tooth!"

"I guess that makes me the stupid one."

Daredevil and I eye each other. I'm turning towards the wall and Daredevil, whose back is to this man, is biting his lips and his face is turning red as we are both stifling our laughter. We were both trying really, really hard not to laugh. But, I'm envisioning cousin Fred with one foot on this guy's chest, vice grips in hand and empty corn whiskey bottle laying beside them. "Open up wider Cuz, I just about gots it."

It's just not polite to laugh at other people's pain. But, we couldn't help it. It was killing us to keep quiet. Finally, he says, "Go ahead, it was a stupid thing to do". We busted a gut. Poor guy. I felt for him. But, it was just too frickin funny. I think we embarrassed him. He went outside and we didn't see him again.
Later, we were ushered into the treatment room. Both of us still occasionally snickering about the other guy. The doc comes in to stitch up Daredevil's hand. Daredevil is lying on the table. His is head is closest to me. I'm watching her spread his cut open and start to put in needle in it to deaden it. Daredevil is halfway between laughing and screaming. Then, we both start laughing. I think the doc thought we were nuts. I'm laughing because this is the same child who always screamed when they stitched him up. Now, he is laughing. Not, your regular ha-ha laugh. But, that whole body quiver laugh. The doc is desperately trying to get in the cut and his hand is quivering like jello.

Finally, after he is stitched up and we are waiting for the discharge papers. He starts laughing again. He is listening to his MP3 player. The song: American Idiot. Seems that was our theme song for the day.

Brain Teaser of the Week

** Brain Teaser of the Week **
-----------------------------------------------------------

The five words below all contain the letter-pair LE. We have taken out the other letters, though. Put each remaining letter back in place to determine the five words. We have included the part of speech and some clues to help you out.

L E _ (noun - no letter Y or A)
_ _ L E (noun - no letter A or U)
L E _ _ _ (adjective - includes another vowel)
_ _ _ _ L E (verb - includes one letter twice)
_ _ L E _ _ _ (noun - no letter D or M)

Remaining letters:A, A, C, D, D, G, G, K, L, M, I, R, U, Y, Y

How well is your brain functioning on a Monday? Check back later for answers.

Update: I got a lot of guesses on that one. Exactly Zero. Well, I'll post the answers anyways.

LEG

MILE

LEAKY

CUDDLE

ALLERGY

Perfect BBQ Pork Recipe

I went to my favorite bookstore today. I love this store. According to their sign in the window, they sell "Used, Rare, and Non-existent books". Upon entering you have to weave your way around the boxes of books in the entry way. The place is a virtual maze of books, both on the shelves and on the floor. They ran out of room probably about 20 years ago, but that didn't stop them from taking more in. You can find just about anything if you have the time and patience to look. It's my kind of store. I love it. I love plundering through the piles and boxes seeking out old treasures. The place has been added onto through the years. You can literally get lost in it. My boys have played hide and seek there.

Today as I scanned the cookbooks, The Thrill of the Grill was right before my eyes. I have been looking for this book. I bought one for my former husband years ago. It has great rubs and grilling techniques in it. I love this cookbook. As I reached for the book, I started snickering. I half expected to open the front cover and find my own handwriting in it. But no, not mine, it says, "Sept. 1993 John, We'll never forget the Lamb Chops! Really cooked! Happy Bar-B-Quing, Happy Birthday!! Karen and Alec." Well, either John didn't like the book or he quit liking Karen and Alec. Well, their loss is my gain.

This is one of my favorite recipes from the book. The meat turned out great and the rub is awesome, but the best part is the write up. (I'm going to post the best parts, if you want the entire recipe buy the book or e-mail me or wait for John to throw another one of Karen's gifts away.)

The Only Real Barbecue Sandwich, or North Carolina Pulled Pork Barbecue Sandwich

2 4- to 5-pound boneless pork butts
1 cup All-South Barbecue Rub
2 cups Eastern North Carolina-style Barbecue Sauce
Cheap White fluffy buns
Tidewater Coleslaw

Bottle of hot sauce for garnish

1. Rub the pork butts...
2. Using hardwood charcoal...
3. Place the butts on the grill...

Now, comes the part of the recipe that is the most important. Pay close attention.

4. Pull a comfortable chair and a cooler full of beer out of the house and sit next to the grill, adding small amounts of charcoal when needed to keep the fire just smoldering (about every 30 or 40 minutes or after each beer, whichever comes first).

5. Cook for 5 to 7 hours...

6. Remove the pork butts...Garnish with a bottle of hot sauce.

There you go guys. The perfect BBQ recipe. When she asked how come your just sitting around drinking beer, you just tell her, "I'm following the directions honey."

The only problem I see is the "30 or 40 minutes or after each beer, whichever comes first". I know some people who would have that fire roaring like a bon-fire. That's probably why John's lamb chops were really cooked.

Saturday Sanity

Today, I am going to find my sanity somewhere among the clutter I am clearing away. It is a beautiful day today. No work. No kids. Just time to do what I want to do at my pace. The soulful sounds of Caribbean music fill every crevice in my house. The windows are keeping time and the neighbors are raising eyebrows as they pass by. But I don't care. Today is my day. Just for me.

Now, if I could find somewhere to ship the dog for the weekend. He is a pain in the *ss. He thinks I'm a fricken doorman.

Blogger Google #2

Okay, Round 2. Let's try this again.

"I typed a certain blog name into Google Image search and this is what I got. Guess which blog name I used?"

(Thank you Great Granddaddy Harvey for the quote. Grandma Bou and I were straddling that generation gap and couldn't understand each other in the first attempt at this.)





Update: Congratulations Bou! Yep. This is Eric of Straight White Guy.

Guess the Google Game

Google can come up with strangest images when searching for a single word. See if you can GUESS THE GOOGLE.

Google certainly can come up with seemingly different images for the same word. So, I have googled some blogger names and will display some of the images that were googled (blogger is arguing with me about posting images). Try to guess who it is. No cheating and googling it. Review the photos and see if you can connect them all to the name. I will post the correct answer later. The first ones will probably be easy until I start venturing out of my blog roll. I am going to try to do this on a regular basis. It will make me wander out of my safety zone and visit some new sites. Good luck.

Think this Counts?

Boy, I'm tired from walking yesterday. I must have walked ten miles yesterday...between the couch and refrigerator. Does this count as exercise?

Father Day Thoughts

Father's Day. This has always been a tough one for me. My parents divorced when I was 4 and my mother almost immediately remarried. Therefore, my step-father was the predominate father in my life.

I love my biological father to the depths of my soul. But, he is a quiet man who is lost in himself. He has never been one to reach out to people. His children included. There are more never's on my list when it comes to him being a dad.
He never held me at night when I had a nightmare. He was never there at birthdays. He wasn't at my High School graduation. He wasn't there when I said my wedding vows. He didn't attend the birth of my children.He barely knows his grandchildren.

But, in spite of all of this I still love him dearly. Because he never turned me away when I came to him. He just never reached out to me.

He was there when I ran away from home and needed a place to live.
He tried to defend me when his girlfriend threw me out.
He fixed my car when I failed to put oil in it and I blew a rod out the side of the engine.
He rescued me in the middle of the night when the water pump failed on my car.

I am saddened beyond belief when I see him. He exists in his own world. His hearing is gone and communication is strained. I have always made an effort and point to see him and involve him in my life and be involved in his. I don't blame him. I love him. He never intentionally hurt me. He just lives in a world of regrets and it has consumed him.

In spite of all this I have always admired him and held him in great esteem. I see him through 4 year old eyes and I always will. He is the quiet hero in my life.

On the other hand, my step-father was there for the good and bad times. He was the best and worst father a man could be. No in-between. There are parts of him I love dearly and others I hate. So many people see abusers as cut and dried "bad" people. Nothing excuses the terrible things he did. But, that is not all he is. He is the man who...

...brought home an abandoned kitten to a wide-eyed little girl
....bravely sat still and let a group of kids shave his face
....paid for my first perm and then stopped on the side of the road and bought me roses and carnations to cheer me up when it turned out to be a disaster....
carved vampire teeth out of watermelon rind. We loved running around the beach chasing each other with them
....he taught me how to work on my car and the names of tools
....built four little girls a tree fort
....taught me drive a car, a boat, back a trailer down a boat ramp.

I have a lot of wonderful memories as a child because of him. It is sad too that these memories are countered by the terribleness he caused. He taught me how wonderful and awful life can be.

So, you can see why today is an awkward day for me. I grieve in silence for the want of a loving, giving father. I have alway been envious of father-daughter relationship as they should be. It is something I have always craved and will never have. I miss it and it hurts.

So, on Father's day I try to focus on the good times I had with my "Dads" and tuck away the grief for other times.

Broken Planes, Hurricanes, and Malaria

I have been meaning to post Part II of my E-Harmony experience detailing the wonderful man I met and the obstacles we have faced during the last two years. But, I haven't had time lately because I have been trying to get a friggin prescription for an Anti-Malaria drug. Of all the times for this crap to happen. No, I don't have it. I am trying to prevent getting it. The Bahamian Islands do not normally have a problem with Malaria. But, no not this year. 700 friggin islands and the one I'm going to has a Malaria outbreak. The CDC is recommending a drug for prevention. My doctor is out of town and his associate is hesitant to prescribe it. Normally, I just worry about hurricanes and flight delays and cancellations. Now, I can add Malaria to the list. Why can't I have normal problems?

Some days

you just need to laugh at other people's misfortune.

Comfort Zones

I know all about comfort zones. I rely on them daily. I found this poem and it really hit home.

THE COMFORT ZONE

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn‘t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile; Success is there for you!

Author: Unknown

Observation Habits

Chowhound and I walked to the store yesterday. As we passed one convenience, he commented that that store has 14 security cameras.

"Excuse me", I said. "Just exactly why do you know this?"

"It's just a habit of mine." was his excuse.

Throughout our 2 mile walk I found out that his school has 3 security cameras outside and several more inside. Another convenience store has 10. And the particular store we were headed towards has Zero. He apparently scopes them out wherever he goes. I hope it's just out of curiosity and not because he is doing anything wrong.

I've am the most unobservant person around. I have never noticed any cameras. Then, again, I'm not looking.

Does anyone else do this? Is this normal or should I be worried that he is up to no good?

E-Harmony Experience-Part I

Patriot Xeno (Co-Partner) of the RHOG is posting about his E-Harmony matches (Part I, II, III). It is interesting to see what he picks out of each persons profile and responses. It is the little things that usually make or break a relationship.

A little over two years ago, I was fiddling around on the computer and watching TV when an E-Harmony commercial came on. They were promoting their "free $40 profile". I had been abruptly dumped several months earlier from a three year relationship. I was still in the "what's wrong with me stage". I do not have a good track record with relationships. So, I took their free profile to see what was wrong with me and what I needed to change. I was so tired of failed relationships. I wasn't actually interested in starting one. The profile was pretty accurate. It told me what I already knew but didn't want to admit to myself. I need to be more assertive. I was impressed by the thoroughness and correctness of the profile.

Then, they started sending me matches. It was interesting browsing through the different people they thought I would be compatible with. I was surprised by things that stuck out and told me immediately that I wasn't interested in someone. At this point, I was just browsing and not signed up. You have to pay the fee in order to respond. After about a month or so I was intrigued by a couple of people and decided what the hell after debating with myself for a while. I still really didn't want a relationship and didn't know why I was compelled to do this. But, I signed up. I figured I hadn't been doing so hot at choosing the right person maybe they would be better at it than I was.
E-Harmony is set up in stages. Each person has the option of ending at any stage. Initially, you are sent a brief bio of the person. The person has the option of making their photo and profile available immediately or later at any stage. I did not respond to any that did not show me a photo. Yes, I'm a bit shallow and vain. I feel physical attraction is very important. It's not the most important thing, but it's up there.

If I remember correctly, the first stage was must haves and must not have. Each person chooses from a pre-made list of numerous choices and presents 10 of each that they feel are important. I culled out the stack even more and was culled a few times myself. The next stage was closed-ended questions. They offer different questions with multiple choice answers. You are able to put in your own answer if you don't agree with any of theirs. I remember one in particular that I was able to eliminate with this stage. I submitted one question that said something like, "Which one would bother you the most? If you partner ... (a) used improper grammar (b) was not up to date on politics (c) didn't keep up with current events, or (d) all of the above" He chose (d). Whoop-wrong answer, he was gone. I know how to speak properly, I just chose to be myself. I can barely keep up with my own life nevermind trying to keep up with events and politics.

Then, came the open-ended questions. Once again they offer a list of questions but they require more than a yes or no answer. You have a word limit I think. I eliminated a few based on the questions they asked not by their questions. Easy to spot the perverts here.

If you made it through all these stages then you could start e-mailing through e-harmony's site. Everything is confidential and guided up to this point. I only corresponded with a few of my matches. One e-mailed me and told me on the weekends he didn't have his son (every other weekend), I could find him at such and such bar. If I wanted to meet him I could go there. Nope. No thanks. Another match just sent one or two words at a time. Boring, no initiative. Delete. Then, one intrigued me the entire way. He is the only one I actually made a date with. More details coming in Part II.

Overall, I was surprised by E-Harmony. I was very doubtful to begin with. Now, I would be willing to do a commercial for them.

I hope Patriot Xeno has as great an experience as I have had. I definitely recommend it.

*Note: I may have gotten some stages in the wrong order. I am doing this with a 2 year old recollection of events. Follow what Patriot Xeno has written. He is is correct. I was just trying to explain how the service worked for those not familar with E-Harmony's process. This is just my introduction into my experience.

Sister Tag

My new sister, Tink, has tagged me with a meme. Do you think I'll get in trouble with "Mom" if I beat her up?

5 things in my fridge:
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing
*nothing-just ask my children

5 items in my closet:
*dresses I don't wear
*clothes that don't fit (the clothes I wear are in laundry baskets-they're clean. It's just easier to find them that way)
*heels that I don't wear
*A formal china place setting for two that my mother gave me as a wedding present when I married ex#1. I have been hauling it around for 20 something years waiting for someone special to have a candlelight dinner with.
*a set of engraved silverware my Grandmother gave to me for my boys. They will each get a set of four. I was the only one who married someone with the same last initial. The silverware is over 70 years old.

5 items in my purse:
*palm pilot
*Aleve 200 count--I'm going to be prepared no fooling around with pain
*cocoa butter hand cream
*scrunchie-always need an extra on hand
*unmentionables

5 items in my car:
*hard hat
*steel toed boots
*safety harness
*safety glasses
*rope
(Doesn't every girl carry those kinds of things in her car? I live in Florida. This is my hurricane preparedness kit. ;)

5 people to annoy:
I think everyone has done this already, so volunteers are welcome.