Job Opening

Position: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

Job Description: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

Possibility For Advancement & Promotion: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages And Compensation: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and then wish you could only do more.

Benefits: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Incredible Photos

If you haven't been over to look at the Photographs of the Year International yet and viewed their Winner's Gallery you really should. There are some awesome photos there.

This is the First Place Winner in Newspaper Division for General News Reporting.

First Place Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as one of the most powerful in the process: "See the people in the windows? They'll sit right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home," he said. "They're going to remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should."

This is the second place winner in the same category:

Second Place Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

The night before the burial of her husband's body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of 'Cat,' and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. "I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it," she said. "I think that's what he would have wanted."

I was overwhelmed when I saw these photographs. A personal glimpse into the lives of those protecting our freedom and what they have endured and sacrificed. It really makes it hit home.

Who do you look like?

Ever wonder which celebrity you look like? Me neither. But, actually this was fun. Hat tip to Sadie and Oddybobo for providing the link to My Heritage. Down load a photo and it scans it and compares it to a celebrity database.

My results were interesting. I actually did three different photos to see if I had the same results in any of them. Nope. Not once. Once it scans the pictures, it presents you with male and female celebrities. There was a huge difference in my look alikes there.

Here's what I got:

In the female category:

Photo 1:
53% Nancy Sinatra
48% Elle Macpherson

Photo 2:
55% Sally Field
54% Reese Witherspoon
52% Britney Spears

Photo 3:
I only had 2 female matches. One was an older lady and the other was an African-American. I must have had a bad hair day and wasn't photogenic this day.

In the male category I got
67% Gordon Cooper
64% George W. Bush
54% Lee Harvey Oswald
53% Gene Hackman

I am so glad I was born female.

My Sweetie was 60% Tom Selleck and 59% John Travolta.

Who do you look like?

Get Well Soon my Little Rue

My sweet little Bahama Mama Rue was attacked by another dog today (she lives in the Bahamas with my Sweetie). She is home and recovering. She needed stitches in four different places (puncture wounds). Poor little cutie. The vet said she will be fine. Traumatized but fine.

The stupid, mean dive shop dog snatched her out of the truck by her head and started shaking her. As soon as my Sweetie got her out of the other dogs mouth, he had to hold her back because she was going after the stupid mutt. She was going to tear him to bits. She's little but she's tough.

Sweetie said he's going to get her an earring now that she has a hole in her ear. Good thing the other dog didn't grab her by the mid-section, she'd be getting a belly ring. I think she needs extra treats and attention.

Get well soon Rue.

Not Good

Teenagers.

Boxing Gloves.

Both in my house.

I will be gone all day.

This can't be good.

And the winner is...

There is another winner of the Darwin Award. Did you see this? Another stupid criminal is killed and they question what should happen to the dogs who mauled him.

COMPTON, Calif. -- A man was mauled to death by
three GUARD dogs after he jumped the
fence at a metalworking company in Compton Sunday.

The dogs are at a shelter. They'll be quarantined until county
animal control officers decide their fate. (emphasis mine)

Hello. What did I miss here? A man jumps a fence. He did not walk through a gate. He. Jumped. It. Which tells me it was locked and he didn't have permission to be there. The GUARD dogs attacked him. They are GUARD dogs. Duh! It's their job. They did their job. He did not steal anything and we don't have to pay any court or jail fees. Now they quarantine the dogs until they can determine their fate. Give them a steak. Reward them and let them get back to work. They didn't have to use force to make the dogs stop. "They ordered the dogs away without using weapons". The stupid idiot got what he deserved. It doesn't state that there were signs posted but it doesn't matter. If you have to jump a fence to get in somewhere you obviously aren't supposed to be there. They should just return the dogs to the company. I bet no one else ever jumps the fence there again. The sad part is that they will probably destroy the dogs and the idiot's family will sue the company and get a bunch of money. It's terrible that he was killed but he shouldn't have been doing it in the first place.

The Beast is Loose

Chowhound is now the Sexy Beast. At least that is his description of himself. It seems that girls have discovered Chowhound and his ego is so inflated you can't stand in the room with him.

Chowhound is in the band as well as crosscountry and track. So he stays busy and is involved but has always been extremely shy. He has had a few "girlfriends". You know, the kind that last from 2nd period to 5th and then they are "going out" with someone else. Well, last week at an away trackmeet two girls were flirting with him. Pump, Pump, Pump. Let's start inflating the ego. Then a few days later two girls in the neighborhood stopped him as he walked down the street and were flirting with him. He ran into them again Friday evening. One of the girls told him he was HOT and asked for his phone number! OMG what a monster she created. He was doing Charles Atlas poses in front of the sliding glass doors that night admiring his reflection and calling himself a sexy beast.

Then it got worse. Yesterday, he spent the day up at this school helping his Band Director rearrange equipment and build shelves and such. There were a group of the band kids up there on a Saturday volunteering their time so the Band Director decided to treat them to dinner at a local BBQ place. The Director went to the counter to pay and all the kids went outside to wait on him. Well, he came outside snickering and grinning. It seems the waitress, who was 16, gave him her phone number. FOR CHOWHOUND. She thought the Director was Chowhound's father and asked him if she could give him her number and ask Chowhound to call her. Now, you can't stand in the same room with him.

This is my baby. He just turned 16. He is 5'11" and weighs about 150. He does work out some with weights and does push ups, situps and jogs about 10 -15 miles per week. He has the washboard abs. But, his ribs poke out and you can watch his heartbeat. Apparently, 16 year old girls find this attractive.

I thought I was ready for my boys to grow up. But, not my baby. He has always been the one to help me out without asking and quick to give me a hug. I can't believe what a wonderful young man he has become. All my boys for that matter. I guess in a mother's eyes her boys always look like toddlers. It's hard to think that in just a few short years they will be exploring the world and trying to figure out their lives. So scary. It's scary letting them make mistakes. You know they are being stupid but there is nothing you can do but let them learn for themselves. But, there is pride too. A whole lot of pride. I beamed like the sun last year when Improviser walked across the stage in his cap and gown. Now, he is applying to colleges and starting to move on. Next year Daredevil will graduate and he wants to go into the military. That is scary for me. Then, it will be Chowhound's turn. He is already researching music scholarships. And now girls are coming into the picture. Oh, I feel old suddenly.

Today is NO HOUSE WORK DAY!

In honor of NO HOUSEWORK DAY, I think every woman should have the cleaning hunk. (Oh Man, I could watch him work alllllllllllllllllll day long.)

We all know what happens when we just quit for the day.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

O.R.E.O. Gone in sixty seconds

That's about how long it take for two teenagers to devour a package of oreo cookies and a half gallon of milk.

Chowhound enlightened me on the art of dunking oreos in milk. I stood there in awe of his technique. A master oreo eater. He should be in commercials.

Apparently, the rules state that first you drown them. He holds them under the milk until all the air bubbles are gone. Then, the procedure gets tricky. He quickly but precisely got the dripping cookies in his mouth without any milk getting on the counter. Oh, did I mention he eats them two at a time. That makes them Double Double stuffed oreos. Then came the challenge round. A three dunker. Yes. He did it. He managed to get three drowning, dripping oreos in his mouth without making a mess. He isn't called Chowhound for nothing.

Urgent Holiday Alert!!!

URGENT! URGENT! EMERGENCY NOTICE!

I'm late in spreading the word but this holiday desperately needs to be recognized.

Tomorrow, April 7, is NO HOUSEWORK DAY!

Yes, it's official. You have the excuse to say NO and not feel guilty.

There's two ways to celebrate this day:

If you normally do the housework around the house, cease and desist for this day. Instead, kick back and enjoy the day. Relax and do anything, except housework.

If you are a spouse or significant other, do the housework for your mate. It gives her (or him) a break from the housework. And, you just might get an appreciation of how much work it takes to keep up the house.

Quickly, spread the word. Send out notices. Burn your brooms. No housework tomorrow!

What's the proper response?

Men always talk about women and the dreaded "Does this make me look fat?" question and how to respond with the most positive results. Well, I have a question. Why do men always seem to ask "So where were you, with your other boyfriend?" Why do they ask that? Is it supposed to be comical? Is it suspicion hidden in jest? Is it insecurity? What is the best way to answer the stupid question?

I hate this question. I hate it with a passion. It irritates the hell out of me. I don't know if maybe I just read too much into it or what. I take it as a personal attack on my integrity and trust. Maybe I take it too personally. Every man I have had a serious relationship with ask this at some point. And of course, the truthful answer is I don't have another boyfriend. It is not even in my thoughts. I usually answer it with the rolling my eyes and a whatever or I start telling every little detail of my day so he doesn't think I'm lying.

Do men just need this reassurance or are they just making a joke? Is it just me that this bothers? How do other people respond to this question?

Taking a break

I'm taking a break from my Spring Cleaning and Redecorating Project. My old furniture hit the trash heap last weekend. I was so glad to see it go. It was get-me-by furniture given to me three years ago when I bought my house. I didn't have a stick of furniture at the time so it served it's purpose and now has been retired to a pile of ash.

So, this week I have had the carpets cleaned, celebrated Chowhound's birthday, removed all the remaining items from the living room except the entertainment center. I started painting last night and I was horrified when we moved the entertainment center. OMG. It looked like Pompeii. Then, I started laughing. The first thing that ran through my mind was I could win a Casa de Dust contest if ArmyWifeToddlerMom had one. I would have taken and posted pictures but I didn't want to embarrass myself that much.

I am now down to the boring, tedious part of painting. The baseboards. I hate painting baseboards and I just can't put border on them like I do up at the ceiling. Thus, I am procrastinating right now because I don't have an edger. The tape isn't working very well. But, motivation is right around the corner because I pick up my new furniture tomorrow. The, the ultimate motivation arrives Saturday. My mother. Yeah, she is coming in for a short visit.

Well, back to painting.

Happy Birthday Chowhound

My baby is sweet 16 today. Everyone help me wish Chowhound a great birthday. I have more to post later but right now we have to go out to eat, of course.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOWHOUND!!!!!!

How to jump start a Monday

Ring, Ring,

"Hello"

"Can I speak to ****"

"Speaking"

"This is Agent SoandSo with the FBI."

HOLY CRAP! WHAT DID DAREDEVIL DO NOW?! That's the first thought that went through my head. All kinds of things came next. I thought it was bad enough when the Sheriff's Deputy from the School called from my house because Daredevil and his friends were skipping. But, the FBI. This is some serious crap here. I prayed please, please, please be a practical joke. He didn't give me a lot of information. He just asked to meet with me.

So, how do you make a good impression at work? Ask your boss, "Can I use your office to talk with the FBI?" This looks real good since my company is sending people for drug tests this week.

Turns out it didn't involve any of my kids for a change. They're doing an investigation on the guy next door.

Yeah, dodged that bullet for now. Always have to stay on my toes.

Tales of Ox

Ox Tails....is this on anyone's shopping list? It certainly isn't on mine. But, everywhere I go lately I see it. There is a huge hand written sign posted on the freezer door of our little grocery store announcing, "YES, WE HAVE OX TAILS". Oh, good. I was worried.

Then, I check out this new restaurant. They have oxtails on their menu. What is up with that? But even worse is the first item on their dry erase board menu. Curried goat. Bleh. I'm glad my appetite rushed back to the car before my lunch hurled to the floor. You don't have to worry about me making reservations.

This site says, "Oxtail soup is a comfort food for many." No. No. No. Chocolate is a comfort food. Brownies, oreos, Molten Chocolate Cake. These are comfort foods. No where in the PMS guide does it list Oxtail soup. The ox doesn't even find any comfort in that. And certainly not me. Who the hell finds comfort in oxtail soup?

Further, it states, "Today, upscale chefs are rediscovering oxtails to the nostalgic delight of older patrons and the wonder of the younger crowd who consider it an exotic meat. And it's not just for soup or stew these days, as you'll see from the recipes. " Nostalgic delight?! Exotic?! No, it's the left over parts no one wants to eat. The older people ate it because they were poor and people used to give the junk away. It was called survival food. They ate it because they had to. It became undiscovered because it was crap. Now all of a sudden it's exotic? Give me a break. I don't believe it. People use it because it's cheap.

The article says that it's the collagen from the oxtail that makes it tasty. Animal collagen is used in shampoos and conditioners. It is in antiwrinkle creams. I have no desire to eat my shampoo and cosmetics. This doesn't even sound appetizing.

Has anyone reading this eaten oxtail? Do you cook with it regularly? I'm just curious. Don't invite me for dinner that night.

Life doesn't get any better than this

The pungent, spicy aroma of jerk chicken simmering...the drumming rhythm of "A Pirate looks a Forty" .... and twirling around the kitchen with Chowhound. Life is wonderful, Mon.

Weather Pixie

I like everyone's little weather pixie so I added one to my site. But, I was disappointed in their choices of Pixies. They have all kinds of cute, sexy looking female pixies but are seriously lacking in hunky male pixies. I wanted a male weatherboy. I set my weather to reflect my Sweetie's location, the Bahamas. I would much rather be there than here. For reasons other than the weather, but still. I hate the cold and I dream of being warm. I wanted a hunky weatherboy. They only have punky weatherboys. I live in a house of punks I don't want one representing my site. So, I picked Tangerine girl. After the last dye job on my hair, I kinda look like her.

Old Mother Hubbard

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggie a bone,
When she got there
The cupboard was bare
Because Daredevil and Chowhound were home.

I will be so glad when they run off to Ft. Lauderdale for Spring Break and get thrown in jail or something. At least then, I won't have to feed them. They have eaten me out of house and home this week. I fear for the dog. I'm afraid they might eat him too. So far, he has survived. But, there is still the weekend.

We're down to having breakfast for dinner. Last night they ate:

a loaf of bread (French Toast)
A dozen eggs
a pound of bacon

They had already eaten before I got home so they weren't real hungry.

Image Meme--Take 2

My wonderful mother, VWBug, tagged me. Yes, Mom. I'll do my homework.

Here's the instructions:

2. Pick 5 random blogfriends.
3. Think of a word or phrase that you describes each friend.
1. Choose a search engine (e.g. Dogpile).
4. Do an image search of that word or phrase.
5. Pick an image that makes you say, "Aha! That's it!"

So, here goes my attempt to make friends.

Hippie, Welcome to the Family.









love and Koolaid Stains




Rave of Quid nunc




I'll do what I want to do--Gosh



Thought Drizzle



I picked people I wasn't too familar with so I could make friends. If anyone's offended sorry. But, my mom made me do it. She says I need to get out more. Go here and blame her.

VW's Day with Tater and Tot

First thing in the morning, VWBug is raring to go. She's a tank. Sound the battle alarm. Post arms. It's time to battle the toddler world and win.





She even takes time to dress up and play with the enemy troops. "It gets their guard down. They think I have surrendered."




By Noon, she is seeking ways to escape. "Maybe I can scare them into behaving", she thinks. "I'll slip into my spider disguise." HA! It won't work. They're boys. They love bugs. She is starting to show signs of distress--illogical thinking.





Desperation sets in. "I must GET AWWWWWWWWWay! Yes, Yes. I can escape."



Oh, No. Sleep deprivation kicks in. Crash and Burn.




Tater and Tot win again!


Oh, the meme was five images of other people? Silly me. I'll try again tomorrow.

Labeling Children

I've always heard you shouldn't label children. I disagree. They should all come with labels. If they had, I would have been more prepared for Daredevil. This is his Warning Label.

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

DAREDEVIL CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com


I would have been warned.

My Warning Label

THIS WAY UP á

Sticks has fragile contents which may break!

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Hat tip to Oddybobo who stole it from Ogre who stole it.

*Evidently I've been upside down already because something is broken. This gets all messed up when I post. Looks great when I'm editing it.

What every girl wants?

What do you get a teenage girl for her 17th Birthday?


earrings, of course, to match the ring and necklace you already bought her. (It's her birthstone)



AND




Yep. Daredevil bought his girlfriend earrings and nunchucks for her birthday. He says it's not what every girl wants but IT'S WHAT HIS GIRL WANTS. And what's wrong with that? She's different and that's what he likes about her.

He said it was a toss up between the nunchucks and a Chinese throwing star. He figured he was safer with the nunchucks. Those wounds would heal. He didn't want to end up with a star up his butt.

Maybe she has the right idea. Keep 'em line. I like this girl!

Sometimes...

there just aren't enough rocks."
Forest Gump

Getting Personal

If you're looking for something upbeat check back another day. Today I am hitting a very personal and sensitive subject. It is rather long since I don't have an extended entry option. But, it is very important to me to post this.

Three things happened recently to prompt me to write this. They are all connected to the abuse I experienced as child.

First, Monday I spent a little time at a Christian school/church that reminded me of one I attended when I was young. Then, last night I received news of the death of a childhood friend. He was the Uncle of the little girl my step-father molested. It was her courage that led to his prosecution and prison time. Finally, I woke up in the wee hours this morning and caught a a very powerful episode of Oprah. It originally aired October 18, 2005. But, as I am not in touch with current events, I had never heard any of this. Oprah was interviewing Laveranues Coles. He was talking about his own experiences with his step-father molesting him. I now have tremendous respect for this man. This is not something very easy to talk about. Especially for a man molested by another man.

These events have led to some very deep thinking and reflection.

Sometimes writing is very difficult for me. Until I started this blog, I had not written very much since my teenage years. Writing back then was survival. But, my emotions kept the words from flowing. I was only able to write when I was under the influence of something. It was only then that I could write. But, I feel compelled to tell my story. Not just the details of events, but the emotions and struggles. It is extremely hard for me to open up to people on a very personal level. I feel I need to do this.

For me, the hardest part of being molested wasn't the physical part but the shame, humiliation, hopelessness and confusion I felt. Feelings a child should not experience. I had a hard time accepting that I could love and hate this man so much at the same time. He came into my life when I was four. He was not always the monster. He was the very best and absolute worst father a man could be. There was no inbetween.

In the beginning I battled my emotions by turning to God. On Sunday mornings, I would quietly get dressed for church as everyone else slept. The church bus was my salvation. I knew God could heal me. Everyone told me so. Every Sunday I anxiously waited for "alter call". The Church I attended had a small kneeling alter at the front. I would go up there and pray and pray and pray to God to stop the pain I felt. An adult would come and pray over me. It was the only comfort I had at the time. In my 10 year old mind, I knew God would save me from the life I was living. Looking back now, I wonder why didn't any of the adults question why a child would cry and pray every Sunday. When God didn't make things better, I denounced Him. I remember slumping down against the gym wall at school, burying my head in my knees, and shaking my fist at "God" and telling Him I would never believe again. I was angry. Angry at everyone. But, mainly myself and God because I couldn't make the pain go away and He didn't rescue me.

When religion didn't work, I turned to "science". I researched my symptoms. Mood swings, depression, crying, and suicidal thoughts were among them. I remember being elated when I figured out what was wrong with me. I rushed into the guidance counselor's office and announced that I was a Manic Depressive. Since, I finally knew what "my problem" was, I knew I could fix it now. The counselor dismissed my notions. She never called my parents. She never asked why. She did nothing. Except tell me I was wrong. At eleven I wanted to die. I wished for it every day. And I could not tell a soul. I was bound in a prison of shame.

I battled the highs and lows until I discovered alcohol and drugs. I finally found a way to numb everything. I could drink until I felt nothing or I could "smoke" until I was laughing and happy. In fact, most of the time I remembered nothing. Things grew worse at home. My step-father provided the alcohol and drugs. It was an easy way to take advantage of me if I was unconscious. My emotional state worsened. My life worsened. There were only a few people I felt comfortable enough to be around with out altering my mental state. But, I was ashamed to even tell them.

After graduating from high school, I was finally able to escape the abuse. It had been on and off for almost 10 years. It was during my most formative years. When everyone else was learning about the world and figuring out what they wanted to do with their future, I was still struggling to convince myself I even wanted to live. Shame is an extremely binding emotion. I had lived nearly half my life in fear and shame. I felt dirty and unworthy of love but desperately craved it.

I know there are children out there experiencing the same thing. Everyone needs to keep their eyes and ears open. Children cry and demand help but won't always ask for it outright. They want to know someone cares.

I was fortunate enough to pull myself together and get therapy. Then, my healing was helped even more by the voice of an 11 year old girl. She and I held hands throughout the trials. She was my salvation. I don't think I could have faced my step-father if that little girl hadn't stood up to him first. As a child I wanted an adult to save me. But, in the end it was a child who saved the adult. I owe her my life.

This is why those events hit me so hard. My step-father always told us how terrible the kids next door were. Then, when we were no longer vulnerable he took advantage of one of their children. Other than the mother of the little girl, I never talked about it with the rest of their family. So, even though I have not spoken to them in 15 years, I have a deep connection with this family. They have been part of my life since I was 13. They have had more than their share of troubles. The little girl's father died in a car accident a few years after the trial. Now, another brother has died and one other has cancer and is not expected to live to see the end of this year. My prayers are with this family and my heart goes out to them in their time of sorrow.

What impressions have my kids made

I sometimes wonder what impressions my boys have made on other adults. Throughout the years I have been complimented on them. I smile proudly. But, that was when they were younger. Now they are teenagers. What do impressions have they left now? Well, I found out today.

Our little high school band has been invited to represent the State of Florida in the 4th of July Parade in Washington DC. Today they have a car wash to help raise money. Daredevil and Chowhound grabbed signs and headed towards the road. I wanted to run and hide when I heard the Band Director yell at them, "Don't scare AWAY the customers!" Ack. That's not good.

Not a Shamrock

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY

In observance of St. Patrick's Day, I wanted to wear green to work today. Actually, I just didn't want to get pinched. I work in a predominantly redneck male environment where harass is still interpreted as two words, "HER ASS" and I didn't want to give them any excuses.

As I was exploring my wardrobe for green articles this morning, I remembered I had a green pin in my jewelry box. Now, folks, you have to realize that I am not a jewelry person. I have a jewelry box but it does not contain the typical things. It is more a conglomeration of things I have collected through the years.

Just to give you an idea, some of the contents include:
*a pin that says "I can handle any crisis I'M A MOM"
*a gold Pokemon card
*a key to a storage locker on Catalina Island, CA
*a Swiss army knife
*2 fortune cookie fortunes
*a picture of a rose torn out of the newspaper

There are a bunch of other things too. Some fake pearls, a few pieces of costume jewelry. I don't know where some of the things came from. I do not remember where I got the "Shamrock" pin or even when. I just know that I remember seeing this green pin in my collection over the years. I can't remember ever wearing it before. But, since it was St. Patty's Day, I figured it would be cute to wear it to work sort of like warding off vampires with a cross or whatever you are supposed to use.

Anyway, I pull it out and start to put it on. Suddenly, it dawns on me. OMG this is not a Shamrock! A Shamrock only has three leaves. Where in the hell, when and why did I acquire this.



Needless to say, I did not wear it to work.

Friday Flashback

Okay, Mom, I'll tell my stories. It'll be a Flashback Friday today.

Being around VW's boys sure makes memories come pouring back. Just seeing the two car seats in her van made me smile. Traveling with toddlers is always an adventure. And it is even more so if they are within touching distance of each other. My three boys are within 4 years of each other which meant that someone could always touch someone else since the backseat was wall-to-wall kid carriers.

It's a mother's nightmare trying to referee while driving. Well, this one particular day, Daredevil and Improviser were snacking on Happy Meals in the backseat. Suddenly, Daredevil, I think he was 3 at the time, started crying and screaming. The mother's inquiry revealed he had a french fry up his nose. Stomping Brakes, gravel grinding, I pull off the road. Yep. It was way up there. Not a scrap hanging out. I'm glad he wasn't laughing and snorting. We would have needed surgery to get the sucker out.

"How did you get a french fry up your nose?"

Teary eyed, he replied "Improviser did it!"

"Why did you put a french fry up your brother's nose?"

Improviser replied matter of factly, "'cause he tried to put one in my ear."

Toddler justification. It made perfect sense to him.

Okay, what now?! Plan A. Grab something to use as a snot rag. Blow. Nope. Nothing.

Plan B. Stifling my laughter I drove to my mother's house to borrow a pair of tweezers. It was way up there. Luckily, this didn't require an emergency room trip. The extrication was simple and quick. And hilarious. Did I mention it was way up his nose?My mother still laughs about this. I was soooooooo glad I did not have to make a trip to the emergency room for this. It was bad enough I had already recently taken his brother in to get a rock out of his ear. But, that's another story.

Great Marketing

Ad agencies pay people good money to sucker people in. Someone earned their money on me. Because twice this week I have bought terrible products because of the packaging.

Episode #1.

This is my skin.



Yep, it's as dry as mud. Especially in the winter. Easy solution. Lotion. There are a gazillion lotions on the shelves. I just grab one that looks great. I'm a sucker for anything that resembles summer and beaches. Neutrogena Summer Glow daily moisturizer. You think I would have picked up on G.L.O.W. No not me. I concentrated on the daily moisturizer part. It was a real blonde moment.

It's my calves and ankles that are the driest. So, I just douse them down and rub the excess on my forearms for good measure.

Yesterday, I notice my palms look funny. Orange even. I sprint to the bathroom and inspect the lotion closer. Self-tanning. OMG. I look at my legs. I'm tan from the knees to the ankles. It's worse than a farmer's tan. It's a mailman's tan. Good thing it's not shorts time yet. It's capris for now. I sure hope it fades as fast as a real tan.

Episode #2

Heed my warning. I was the guinea pig.

If you are tempted to buy Krusteaz Mango Bars reach for something else.

My boys love Mangos. The picture on the box looked good. I was in a sweets mood. So, I was suckered in.

First warning: It didn't smell good when I was mixing it up. Ignore warning #1.

Second warning: It didn't smell good while baking. I should have clued in here. Ignore warning #2.

Finally, it's done. Taste test time. Yuck. It taste like dirty socks smell. I gagged. So, disgusting. Maybe glitter and raisins would have made them tolerable. But, I don't think so.

You have warned.

Mini Blog Meet

Too tired to blog last night. Thoughts and fingers would not cooperate. But, what a wonderful weekend! It was full and busy and refreshing. I hated to return to reality but one can't live in vacation/fantasy land forever.

I visited with my Blog Mother and longtime friend, VWBug, not once but twice. Her sons, Tater and Tot are as adorable in person as they appear on her blog. I got hugs, kisses and pictures. They are two too sweet boys. Also, Happy Dog is very happy, very friendly and seemed to like me very much. His nose is right at the wrong height. He kept goosing my butt with his nose. Nothing like trying to visit while holding a miniature horse at bay. We had a fantastic visit reminiscing and catching up.

On the return trip, we had a mini blog meet. Three generations of bloggers together. I was excited. I finally met my Blog Grandmother, Boudicca. I've know VW since Jr. High School, but even though Bou and I briefly went to the same High School, this was the first time we met. She is a beautiful woman. I think what struck me most about her was the confidence and energy she exudes. I am envious of that. So now I can add "Bloggers I have met" to my sidebar.

I was disappointed to learn that I missed meeting That 1 Guy by only a few hours. Maybe on his next world tour.

Today is.....

P A N I C Day!

Ok. Ok. I'll agree with that. I can panic.

13 Reasons to Panic today

1. I'm leaving for my trip in the morning and I'm not packed.

2. I still have to pick up the rental car tonight.

3. I colored my hair last night and it looks funky. It looks kinda orange to me. That will teach me to go off on a whim and color my hair right before I see my Sweetie.

4. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser (19) and Daredevil (18) for the weekend. Stupid, Stupid, Mom. You think I would have learned my lesson when Improviser got the Explorer stolen.

5. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

6. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

7. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

8. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

9. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

10. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

11. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

12. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

13. I'm leaving my house and car in possession of Improviser and Daredevil.

Hear that sound. That's me beating my head against the wall. When will I learn. Anyone have any Zanax? Panic attack city today.

HAVE YOU HAD YOUR PANIC ATTACK TODAY?

Heading South

I headed for South Florida tomorrow. First, I'm going to stop off and have PB&J with Tater, Tot and my Blog Mom, VWBug. I am so excited. This will be the first time I have gotten to visit with the precious boys. They were asleep the last time I dropped by. Contrary to what VWBug says, they do sleep. Or at least that's what I was told. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't even her house. All the lights were off and we had to whisper. And whispering is not something I am very good at. (Just poking fun at her). Anyways, I am really excited about my visit with her and the boys.

Then, I am headed even further South to spend some time with my Sweetie. It's been since Christmas since I have seen him and I can't wait.

The flip side of the coin is that I am, stupidly, once again leaving my house and car in the possession of Improviser and Daredevil. I have been promised that they will behave. Yeah, right. Like I believe that one. But, in my little world, I will. Otherwise, I will be a nervous wreck all weekend and won't get to enjoy myself. Yeah, right. And I'll let them think that.

Well, time to finish packing. Have a great weekend and I'll see you folks Tuesday.

Battle of the Sexes Ammunition

My boys are evidently taking the battle of the sexes seriously. They are armed and ready to fight. I found this in the bathroom this morning.



They have discovered the ultimate weapons in the war with women.



Deodorant. Shaving cream. Razors. Toothbrush. (The toothpaste was on the counter). Nothing like a girl to get a boy to take a shower and start caring about his appearance.

Yeah. Gone are the days when I have to coax them to take a shower and then ask specific follow up questions. Did you use soap and water? Did you wash your hair? Did you brush your teeth? Did you use toothpaste?

I'm not sure where they got their unique toiletry kit. I'm not sure if I want to know. But, I guarantee, I will inspect their luggage the next time we fly. I can see this show up during a security check at the airport. We would make national headlines. Some high strung security cop would probably shoot us.

Today is.....

HUG A GI DAY!

My source states:

Today is a day that we all can embrace. It's "Hug a GI Day". Give a great big hug to any and all GIs you see today. The men and women in our armed forces deserve our thanks and appreciation.

GI's perform an invaluable service to our country. They risk their lives for our freedom, and to keep us safe. A simple hug is a small thanks for this vital service to our country.

So here is a BIG HUG in appreciation to anyone who has served our country to defend my freedoms.

I would be cautious of just going up and hugging anyone in uniform without explaining why. This might cause some ingratitude at first.

I couldn't find anything on the origin of "Hug a GI Day", but I suspect it was a pick up line originally. Seems like a good way from a young GI to meet some pretty innocent little thing.

Today is.....

National Anthem Day

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?


On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

________________________

March 3, 1931, the "Star Spangled Banner" was officially declared The United States' National Anthem by an act of Congress.

The Star Spangled Banner was originally only a poem. However, there was a very popular tune of the time which had the same form and metre, ironically, this was the tune of a British drinking song. When the handbills were printed, they bore the name of this tune to which the poem should be sung - Anacreon in Heaven.

Today is.....

Old Stuff Day.

There is no explanation for this day and it is left wide open for interpretation. Go here for the complete list of holidays.

What is your favorite old stuff?

Compliment?

Compliments from teenage boys to their mother are rare events and usually masked with sarcasm. So, I was taken aback by the conversation with Chowhound tonight.

Chowhound peering over my shoulder looking at the rice dish I was cooking. "That looks like you went bluuuuuegh". The line was complete with perfect theatrical embellishment. My drama king.

Me: "Gee, thanks"

Chowhound: "I like the way you cook. It's different."

I raise my eyebrows inquisitively. He continues, "You don't cook like most people. You don't use a cookbook or anything. You just throw stuff together. And most of the time it turns out good."

His name is Chowhound. He eats everything. I'm not rushing to Betty Crocker with my recipes.

Today is.....

National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day.





If you pig out on peanut butter does this count for celebrating both?

But, I'm serious today is National Pig Day. If you forgot to send a card don't despair. You can find some here.

There have been some pretty famous pigs. How many can you name? And I'm not including politicians here.

There's Miss Piggy. Babe. Wilbur. And of course, Porky Pig. You can cheat and go check out some of these sites.

I still haven't quite figured out the connection between pigs and peanut butter. But, today is also Peanut Butter Lover's Day.

So, pig out on peanut butter cups and have a wonderful day!

How to bug your children....

When they go in their room to play video games, wait a few minutes and then yell,

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come Watch this!"

How long can you hold it in?

When they groan and go back to their room give them a few minutes and yell,

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come watch this!"

Beer lady.

They will snicker and disappear into the video zone again. Wait a few minutes and yell,

Yep, you guessed it. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come watch this".

Who needs disney?

See, it's fun having teenagers. They're are all kinds of ways to amuse your self and annoy them at the same time.

But, by now, they are shuffling their feet and whining. So you have to get creative.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Come Watch this!" (The creative part is the fact that you're lying).

Funny Father.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, last one."

Fake Waterbed.

Got brain draino?

Brain draino needed. All my ideas are stuck and the plunger is not working.

Life without a Song

My self-esteem has taken another hit. It was bad enough when I took the superhero quiz it came up with nothing. Twice. Yes, I took it twice and twice it produced no results. I have no superhero qualities. Cat Woman, Super Girl, Wonderwoman, they can all relax I am no threat.

Now in addition to having no great qualities, I don't even have a life song. This seemed simple enough for an ordinary person to do. No tall buildings to leap, no walls to climb, just plug in the date of your 18th birthday, click on the UK or USA flag and based on billboard's hits it tells you the #1 song at that time. I punch in the date, click the USA flag and wait in anticipation. It was kind of exciting in a "I got no life so this is my big thrill" kind of way. Until it stuck it's tongue out with "Information is not available". WTF! I have no theme song. No sound track for my life. I'm living in the silent film era. No cool song to strut down the street by. Seeing as how I won't be battling bad guys I won't need background music. But, wait, there is still a chance. So, I resort to clicking on the British Flag. Now it retorts with "Do you really want to hurt me?" (Culture Club) ! Yep. This is it. This has been my theme song. Now my life makes sense.

Other notable songs:

The #1 song on the day I was born was "Baby Love" by the Supremes.
Improviser's life song "Burn" (Usher).... BD song-Greatest Love of All (Whitney Houston)
Daredevil's life song Gold Digger (Kane West).... BD song-Didn't We Almost Have it All (Whitney Houston)
Chowhound bd song Black Velvet - Alannah Myles

So, what is your theme song?

Egg Snot Cures

I'm no longer feeling like egg snot. Thanks to a $45 bottle of cough syrup. Holy Crap. Now I can't even feel my head, lungs, etc. Whoo Hoo! The modern cure for bronchitis. I was skeptical when he said to take one teaspoon at bedtime once a day. This stuff was thicker than egg snot. But, oh does it work. Bedtime came at Noon today. By my calendar we're on day two now and it's almost bedtime again.

This is how I feel today.

Like Egg Snot.

Update on Concerned

Apparently, I wasn't the only person who called the Resource Officer at the school and asked him to check on the boy I mentioned previously. Daredevil told me last night that the Officer called the girl's mother. He said the boy was ok and in a safe place and that he couldn't go into further details. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I feel better that someone checked on him.

Concerned

I feel like I have let a child down and I haven't and I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. (Wouldn't my English teacher love that sentence!)

Let me explain. Hopefully, I'm calm enough now to write this without losing my mind. Yep. You guessed it. This post is compliments of Daredevil. He is my mother's revenge. I know she dances around singing, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I told you so. Paybacks. Paybacks!", everytime I call her and say, "Guess what Daredevil did?"

Tuesday morning.

Ring. Ring.

Me: "Hello."

Stranger's voice: "Do you live at *****? This is Officer *****. I am sitting in front of your house. There are some children in there and they won't come out."

At first, I thought maybe it was a Valentine's prank, early April Fool's joke. Something. I'm quite into denial and like to live in that world sometimes. Reality hoovers.

I started asking him for credentials, contacts and how I could verify who he was. This annoyed him. I could hear him rolling his eyes. Yes, I verified his identity. There are too many nuts out there to trust everyone. I was suspicious and cautious because he asked if I had caller id and just wanted me to call my house and tell the kids to come out.

It seems my neighbors called the school and reported truants. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. (I was unhappy about the situation, not my neighbors. Everyone should have neighbors that care.) After the second conversation with the Officer, I huffed out a "I'll be back" to my boss and sped home daring another officer to pull me over. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight. I roared into the house ordering children OUT! They tucked their tails and hurried to the safety of the officer. I told the officer I would handle my own child. But, that's another story.

This is the part that bothers me. Two of the kids that were caught skipping have been forbidden by their parents to see each other. They were both suspended from school for the rest of the week because they left campus. Daredevil told me tonight that when the boy's father found out he skipped school with the girl he got physically violent with him. "Throwing him into doors and walls" is what I was told. I know nothing about this kid or his father. I do not know how valid the information is. But, I do not believe that any child should ever be touched in anger.

I grew up in a violent household and it still scares the hell out of me. I am worried this child was hurt. I feel guilty and responsible. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I plan to call the school tomorrow and request the officer visit the child's home to check on him. I don't know if he will. But, I feel I need to do something. The thought of a child being hurt hits me to the soul. I don't know what else to do.

FTD stands for.....

Failure To Deliver. It should be NFTD...No Flowers Tonight Darling.

Because it's almost 2 days after Valentine's Day and I don't have my flowers yet! My wonderful Sweetie sent me flowers or so he says (grins & winks), "It's the thought that counts, right." I know he thinks of me more often than he tells me and I don't need flowers to prove it.

But, when you pay for something and they tell you it will be there on a certain day then they should keep their promise.

What happens when you....

1) have nothing to do

2) own a sharp knife

3) have a large lime

4) own a patient cat

5) drink too much tequila

6) and it's football season?








hat tip to my sister for the e-mail. I just had to share this.

Is 28 degrees too cold for shorts.

I live in Florida. North Florida. It is 28 degrees this mornings. Brrrrrrrrr. That is too freaking cold for me. We are minutes from the GA border. This is imported dead palm tree country. Tourist do not flock here for the winter. It gets cold. Tomorrow is going to be in the teens. Today's high isn't even going to hit 50.

However, Chowhound is prancing around here in shorts this morning. He is wearing shorts to school. He insists he lives in Florida so he can wear shorts year round. I know it's an attention thing from his friends. He is 16. I won't get into a head butting contest with him. I just shake my head and walk off. If he wants to freeze his marbles off that his business. But, I bet he took his sweats with him for track practice. He maybe brain damaged but he is not stupid.

It still makes me lose my mind.

Help Save the Iguana

In my dining room, I have a wall done entirely in stone (it matches my fireplace).

I wanted a mirror for this wall.

I wanted the mirror to be surrounded by black wrought iron.

This imagine of the perfect mirror has been haunting my mind. I have been obsessed with it. I had to find this mirror.

I searched and searched.

Yesterday, my car suddenly veered out of the stagnate traffic and went to this little hole in the wall shop. I had never noticed this shop before. The signs were kind of confusing. The name was Island Imports yet it informed me that the products were from Mexico. Did I miss that geography class?

But, lo and behold there was my dream mirror. It's exactly what I had pictured. Well, almost. My version didn't have the iguana.

I bought the mirror with the intent of removing the critter or covering him up. But, now there is a debate in my household.

Improviser loves the iguana. He votes it stays.

Daredevil is in love and therefore nothing exists except his girlfriend. So, he's not voting.

Chowhound never makes it to the dining room. He camps out in front of the refrigerator. Therefore, he hasn't seen the new pet. But, he would probably vote to remove and cook the delicacy.

The critter is starting to grow on me. He looks at home lurking on those rocks. Well, I have been trying to come up with a new "theme" for my house. Maybe I found one.

Help me. Vote. Do we keep the new pet or find him a new home?

Valentine greetings NOT to send

Valentine for your brokeback buddies?

Going through a mid-life crises?

For the working girl.

This one is just disgusting.

This isn't a valentine it's just to make up for the last picture. Test your sanity.

UNPOPULAR VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS

* Thinking of you sweetheart, which, technically, the court order can't prevent.
* Just wanted to say "I love you" when I wasn't falling down drunk.
* If only we weren't so closely related!
* I'm too shy to ask in person, but what is that thing on your face? A mole, a wart? WHAT????
* You're too beautiful to resist, my under-the-ether dental patient.
* I'm more than half interested in you, my hermaphroditic darling!
* The Medicated Shampoo Took Care of It.
* I'm Glad the Arkansas State Troopers Brought You to My Hotel Room, Valentine!
* I'll Give You Money To Have Sex With Me.
* Just thinking of you while I am drunk and no one else will have sex with me.

_____________________

EXCUSES WHY MEN FORGET VALENTINE'S DAY

* The Florist couldn't find your house, did you move?
* I sent a candygram. Someone must have eaten it.
* The Hallmark Store was closed, and I didn't want to send less than the best.
* I sent an e-mail card. You never got it? AOL must have messed up again!
* I left a message on your answering machine to meet me for dinner. Where were you?
* I didn't know you liked jewelry.
* I thought Saint Valentine's Day was a Catholic holy Day.
* Your mailman must have been shot in a Post Office Massacre.
* I thought we would do something different this year.
* I thought it would mean I was making a commitment.
* You didn't remind me!

How to cure the blues

Blogging has been light lately since I didn't want to spread my depressed attitude. But, I had a great pick-me-up last night.

I went out on a "date". A handsome young man asked me out and I accepted. There is nothing better to lift a woman's heart then to be asked out by her son.

Daredevil called me at work yesterday. Usually, it is "can I use the car tonight". Instead he asked, "Mom, would you go shopping with me tonight?"

My heart brightened.

He has been searching and searching for a necklace for his girlfriend. He bought her a birthstone ring for Christmas and wanted to find a matching necklace.

When I asked him why he wanted me to go with him, he replied, "We haven't done anything together in a while and I wanted a woman's opinion."

This coming from my 18 year old son. I was flattered and honored. We had a fantastic time. We found exactly what he was looking for and in his price range. Yes, he used his own money. He does not ask me for any.

So, I am beaming this morning. My sons brighten my life. I love them dearly and am proud of them all.

Perspective

Dawn's services are today and regretably I can not attend. She is a very special person to me and will always be.

Dawn, I will not say goodbye. Only, until we meet again.
________________________________

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and there are other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" And that is dying.

- Anonymous

More Heart Facts

Compared with Men:

38% of women and 25% of men will die within one year of a first recognized heart attack.
35% of women and 18% of men heart attack survivors will have another heart attack within six years.
46% of women and 22% of men heart attack survivors will be disabled with heart failure within six years.
Women are almost twice as likely as men to die after bypass surgery.
Women are less likely than men to receive beta-blockers, ACE inhibitors or even aspirin after a heart attack.
More women than men die of heart disease each year, yet women receive only:
33% of angioplasties, stents and bypass surgeries
28% of inplantable defibrillators and
36% of open-heart surgeries
Women comprise only 25% of participants in all heart-related research studies.

Heart Disease and Women

This post is to all women and everyone who loves them.

My best friend, Dawn, died of a heart attack. She was 41. She went to the emergency room complaining of chest pains a few days prior to her fatal heart attack. They sent her home with two sheets of paper. Two handouts. That was their medical treatment. A handout on chest pain management and one on stress, anxiety and panic attacks. We will never know if her condition could have been treated if someone had taken her seriously. If someone had taken the time to properly evaluate her and not immediately assume it was panic. You see she had been "diagnosed" as a manic-depressive. She was under a doctor's care for years. Why hadn't anything else ever been checked? I have a lot of questions right now and I know there will never be any answers. "What if's" won't bring my friend back. But, knowing the following information might alert someone else. If you have any symptoms, don't let the emergency room staff just dismiss you. Press on. Make them check out everything.

Remember:

Heart disease isn't just a man's disease. Heart attack, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases are devastating to women, too. In fact, coronary heart disease, which causes heart attack, is the leading cause of death for American women. Many women believe that cancer is more of a threat, but they're wrong. Nearly twice as many women in the United States die of heart disease and stroke as from all forms of cancer, including breast cancer.

Cardiovascular disease claims more women's lives than the next six causes of death combined — about 500,000 women's lives a year.

Some heart attacks are sudden and intense — the "movie heart attack," where no one doubts what's happening. But most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain or discomfort. Often people affected aren't sure what's wrong and wait too long before getting help.

Here are signs that can mean a heart attack is happening:

Chest discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.

Discomfort in other areas of the upper body. Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.

Shortness of breath. May occur with or without chest discomfort.

Other signs: These may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness

As with men, women's most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting, and back or jaw pain.

Heart Facts

Heart disease is the #1 killer of American women.

One in five women have some form of cardiovascular disease.

In 1999, cardiovascular disease (CVD) caused the deaths of 512,904 females, 53.5% of all deaths from CVD.

One out of three women compared with one out of four men will die within one year after having a heart attack.

A woman's chances of developing heart disease soar after she goes through menopause.

More women than men will suffer a second heart attack within six years after their first heart attack.

African American women are 60 percent more likely to die of coronary heart disease than white women.

Women with diabetes are 3 to 4 times more likely than men to develop heart disease.

Fewer than one in ten women today think that heart disease is their greatest health threat.

Diabetes doubles the risk of a second heart attack in women.

For more information:

Women's Health

American Heart Association: Women and Cardiovascular Disease

To Dawn Rena

My post for Dawn is gone. Damn Blogger. It was there. I saw it. And now it's gone. Just another reason to get angry. Maybe I can take out my frustrations on blogger.

I will try this again.
_________________________________

Dawn Rena, I will miss you. You are my best friend. We have over twenty years of memories together. We're supposed to have a lot more. We've raised children, married and divorced, laughed and cried. Two weeks ago we made "plans" to get together next time I came to town. You laughed at how some people couldn't understand how we could go months without talking and still be best friends. And we exchanged "I love yous". I'm so glad I got the chance to say that to you even though I know you already knew. That's what being friends is all about.

Our lives became entwined right after high school. Late nights closing at Taco Bell. The look on your face when I threw a cap full of sour cream and it landed right on the top of your head. Sour Cream exploding everywhere. When you laughed and came at me with a bottle full of water, I knew we would be friends for life. That was the beginning of a wonderful, beautiful friendship. You truly are a beautiful person inside and out.

You radiated in your bridal grown (both times). I stood beside you the first time and in front of you performing the ceremony the second. We always said husbands come and go but best friends are forever. You paced the halls with my family when I had my boys and you helped watch them grow.

We spent many a night drinking daiquiris and solving the worlds problems. We realized we were "getting old" when a great Friday night without the kids meant driving an hour to the first Super Walmart. We thought they were going to throw us out we were laughing so hard at the greeting cards. Never did take much to amuse us.

So many memories. I cherish them all. Dawn you are forever in my heart. You are a piece of my soul. I love you. And I will miss you greatly.

How do I say goodbye?

I'm having a hard time with the news of Dawn's death. And it pains me that I will not be able to attend her services. I don't know how to say goodbye or how to reconcile the pain and anger I feel inside. She is too young to die. She is my best friend. She has always been there for me. I feel like I'm not going to be there for her.

Trunk Monkey

Next vehicle I buy will have one of these. I'd still have my Explorer if I had a Trunk Monkey. They have a road rage version (the original). Maybe it should be modified for NASCAR then the driver's wouldn't have to get penalties. Let the monkeys duke it out.

Check them all out here.

Hat tip to Richmond.

Could tragedy have been avoided?

A tragedy happened Wednesday. Families are grieving and lives have been forever changed. Seven children from one family, ages 15 years to 20 months, were killed. Numerous other children on the school bus including the driver were hurt some critically. When the Grandfather heard all 7 of his grandchildren had died, he had a heart attack and died.

This happened very close to my home so rumors are flying rampant. From what I hear this could have been prevented. The rumors are that the truck driver was talking on his cell phone and wasn't paying attention. I know the area well where it happened. The speed limit is 60 and it is an easy stretch of road where the speed just creeps up on you. But, it is no excuse. If indeed this driver was talking on the phone, and I know it happens all the time, it is inexcusable. When driving you need to have your full concentration on what you are doing especially if you are driving a 80,000 lb vehicle.

Please, everyone, think about this the next time your cell phone rings when you are driving. Pull over somewhere to take your call. It could save your life or someone elses.

#10 may come true

I found this little thing over at Drunken Wisdom. I played around with my boys' names and Daredevil's generated this:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Daredevil!

1. When Daredevil is swallowed, he will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes.
2. More people are killed by Daredevil each year than die in airplane accidents.
3. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Daredevil every year!
4. The international dialing code for Daredevil is 672!
5. If you toss Daredevil 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
6. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Daredevil.
7. Daredevil is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
8. Daredevil is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than Daredevil!
9. Scientists have discovered that Daredevil can smell the presence of autism in children.
10. Daredevil is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

#10 is indeed prophetic considering I just posted on this! He is in fact planning on getting his tongue pierced. This is not good.

Daredevil just read this. Not so good. He rejoiced at the thought of being a mass murderer as stated in #2. And #1 generated a sly smile and "Sweet!". I am going to lose my mind with this child.

Adopt a kid

Whenever I come home early my stomach is queasy and in knots. I never know what to expect except the unexpected. Teenage boys just have that effect on a mother. At least mine do. Especially, after the closet episode. So, today I was pleasantly surprised to find a kid sitting at the table doing homework. No plodding, no prompting, yelling, cursing. Nothing. He was doing it without being told. A mother's dream. I just wish it had been one of MY kids!

Nope, it was Daredevil's best friend. Since their school and his work are within walking distance he just hangs out here until time for work. I didn't mind. But, it just seemed strange that he was the only one home. Maybe I should adopt him. Or trade one of mine for him! There's a thought.

Especially, since I am half expecting Daredevil to come home with his tongue pierced. Ack! I sure hope not. But, I made a horrific parental mistake tonight. He asked if I minded if he went with a friend of his who is getting her tongue pierced. She is scared and wanted backup. Stupid me said, "Don't come home with your tongue pierced." I should have slapped myself right then. I know better. Daredevil followed up with the challenging, "Why not"! Because I don't want a freak for a child, I thought. I suppressed that challenge. I see more blog fodder coming.

Interview Time

It's my 15 seconds of fame. My very first interview. Basil did a wonderful job. Go on over and see what secrets I reveal.

The Big Red Button

I thank Steve for this game.


Go Ahead. Push it. I know you want to. Just do it.

Hat tip to Daredevil. We found this while looking through his friend's blog.

Just rambling

In spite of the recent events, Mom had a great birthday yesterday. We took her for afternoon tea. There is a quaint little tea house downtown that is wonderful. It is her favorite place to go. My sisters and I adorned her with fancy hats and boas and we tried our best to act prim and proper. Not. You can dress us up, you can't take us out. Luckily, we had the place to ourselves. So, for her 72nd birthday, Mom played dress up. It made her smile and that was our mission.

Even though it was sad circumstances that brought me home, I have really enjoyed being here. It has been 10 years since I have lived around my family. I usually breeze in on a holiday weekend, rush around and then fly back out. I have had the time to meet with some childhood friends, spend a little time with my sisters and a lot of time with my mother. I am really glad I was in a position to do this.

But, I miss my boys. I'm headed home after the funeral this afternoon. Today will be a long and trying day for my mother. But, she will be surrounded by her four girls and some wonderful friends. I hate that I have to leave so soon after the funeral, but I also think she needs her time alone to grieve. We have spent a great deal of time talking and she is coping well. She is a strong woman.

Thanks to everyone for your comments and support. It means a lot. I have kept Mom entertained with everyone's blogs. Especially Bou and the underwear bit. So, don't be surprised if she starts lurking around. I have tried to explain the bad example family to her. If that's possible. This family seems to be bending more than forking lately. She has been amused and asked me to make sure she can find these sites after I leave. She hasn't settled on a screen name yet. But, if you see "Dart B*tch" show up, it's her. I'm trying to discourage the name because of spam, but you know how insistent old women can be. If any has any good alternate names, suggestions are appreciated. You try to raise your parents right, but sometimes they just don't listen.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom,

Thank you for all you have given me. Our lives have not always been smooth or uncomplicated, but you have always been there for me despite my resistance sometimes. You always show me love. Admittedly, sometimes it was tough love. But, it was love nonetheless. You were there for me through marriages and divorces, trials and children, laughter and tears. You stood by my side during accomplishments and not so great decisions. Okay, some really bad ones. You never judge. You never criticize. Fault and blame are cast aside and a shoulder is always offered. You gave me life. But, more importantly you give me love. Unconditionally.

But, it's not just me you offer it to it's everyone. Especially Mike. I know it is difficult to celebrate your birthday this year as you try and cope. But,I know that if he were here to celebrate your birthday today, he'd be pounding on the piano and then taking you out to the "best" spots in town. He truly loved you.

Happy Birthday Mom. Know that we all love you and are here for you as you have been for us.

People are like books

I picked up the book
Did a quick glance
tossed it aside
Didn't give it a chance.
The cover was torn and ragged
the binding was broken and cracked
the only thing it seems to contain
was the quality and substance it lacked.
But, I didn't take the time
to peer within the pages
to see where this book had been
and what it battled through the ages.
The chapters held the secrets
that the cover can't convey
the things that made it what it was
and what it is today.

I'm struggling with this post. So, bear with me. My mom lost a special friend and someone she truly loved Wednesday. Schroeder was his own person. Lived by his own rules and floated through life. He stumbled into our lives over 25 years ago. He was in and out like the wind. He landed permanently in my mom's life a few years ago. He came to her with practically nothing. No job, a truck with expired everything, legal troubles and 10 bucks to his name. In the next few years I watched him give her all she ever wanted. Someone to love. It wasn't the fairy tale story. It wasn't with out fights or aggravation. But, it was unconditional. No matter what. No matter how mad he made her. She never gave up on him. Not even in the end. My respect for my mom grew immensely in the last few years. Schroeder was diagnosed with throat cancer approximately 18 months ago. She never left his side.

Folks, that's ultimately the greatest thing you can acquire and the only really important thing there is in life. Unconditional love. Schroeder didn't have anything else but in the end he had it all. He knew he could count on my mom. She could count on him to aggravate her and he could count of her to forgive him and still love him. They shared something special the world doesn't always see.

MRE Fireworks

Do you have leftover MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat)? If so, donate the food to Bou for her hurricane supplies. She and her rolling ball of noise love MREs. But, be sure to keep the heating packs for this assignment.

Do you have glo sticks or paint balls handy?

If so, you have all the makings of redneck hurricane survivor MRE fireworks!

Yes folks, this is a true story. Although, this was tried at home, I don't know if I recommend it. Unfortunately, I didn't witness this but I am proudly related to the people who did this. Yes, my oldest sister brought in the New Year with homemade MRE fireworks. She still has MREs lurking around her house since Ivan, Dennis, Katrina (just name a hurricane in the last two years). Immediately after Ivan, her boys discovered MRE heating packs make good bombs. So, while sitting around the bon fire, sipping on whatever's good, someone's little light went off. They prepared the "bombs". First, attempt they emptied the glo stick contents into the packet. It wasn't satisfactory. Then, they just put the glo sticks in. This produced pretty results. But, it was the paint ball bomb that the boys loved the most. I think this is more of a daylight firework. But, Improviser witnessed the results the following day and he was impressed. And it takes a lot to impress Improviser.

Gotta love family.

Interview Time is Approaching

My blog Mom, VWBug, reminded me that Basil will be interviewing me soon. You can go here to submit your questions and see who else is being interviewed. Please feel free to ask anything. I may or may not answer it depending on the subject, but there isn't really anything I can foresee having a problem with.

Blog Troubles

Daredevil and Improviser have blogs/personal pages on My Space. I browsed through Daredevils recently. I am troubled by some of the things I have found. Most of these kids have their real names and photos posted. I purposely do not post their names and photos because of all the weirdos out there. They do not see the need for security. This concerns me. I read frequently about the perverts browsing the internet posing as teens. My mother instincts are kicking in and I want to protect my children. But, then I realize at their ages I can only guide and hope they listen.

Overall the blogs I read were the usual teen stuff. They were actually cleaner than I expected and I found a couple of cute quizzes. The thing that really bothers me is how many teenage girls list that they are Bye. (You get my point. I don't need a million google hits for that.) I am soooooooooo glad I don't have girls. I don't see how a 15 or 16 year old girl can know that for sure. Is it a fad? This really concerns me since I know some of these girls. I wonder if their parents know.

Police Chief without a force?

I live in a small town within a larger city. Let me explain. Our town is approximately 1-2 square miles, depends on who you ask. It is in the city limits of a much larger town. Why the town was originally incorporated I haven't a clue. But, nevertheless we have our own government. Complete with Mayor, Town Council, Police Force and all the BS. There is a long, ongoing feud between the Mayor and Police Department. It came to a head recently. I just received a letter from the Mayor which in part states:

Dear Citizen:

As you are aware the Town Council has voted unanimously to abolish the police department effective March 13, 2006. This will leave the police chief in place, but does away with the seventeen members of the department.

Hello, did I miss something here. We will have a Chief in charge of nobody. The letter states financial reasons for abolishing the police force. Hey, People in charge. Here is an idea. Save even more. If you going to do away with the deputies in order to save money get rid of the Chief, too. He won't be busy if he doesn't have a department to run.

As a single mother of three boys, I have learned to cut expenses and be practical. I have a few tips for my town. I have lived in this town for three years and I have been associated with it for ten. I see on a daily basis a few areas they could cut expenses in other than the police force. Try cutting out the unnecessary and impractical expenses.

1. "Holiday Lights" aka Christmas lights. For a small town they do it up big. For the last month and still they have lights up and on all over town. There is a complete "Christmas Town" all lit up. There is nothing in this town. Just five or six buildings all completely decorated in lights and accessories. I guess it is where they store all the lights and decorations the rest of the year. I am not against decorating, but if you need save money cut the unnecessary things first. I'm sure the electric costs on all of these lights are not cheap. Save there.

2. Flowers. Every spring and fall they plant flowers everywhere. Yes, it looks nice, but again not a necessity.

3. Nix the 4th of July fireworks. They do not bring people and money into our community. Our town in small enough everyone just sits on their front porches and watches. Again, they are nice, but not necessary.

They have to pay someone to do all of these things. If you want to continue ask for donations and volunteers to do these. It's called Community involvement. I know that is a hard thing to get, but get to know your neighbors and help each other.

I'm sure if I really got into the politics and business I could find numerous way to cut expenses. They are usually obvious if you look for them.

Getting back to normal

Thankfully, the holidays are over. Maybe now I can get back in to a routine. I love the holidays, but they are exhausting. Everything in my world gets turned upside down and totally chaotic. I need routine. I love spontaneity, but reality is I have to be organized and in a routine even though it bores me sometimes. Although, this presents a difficult task and I seem to go through cycles. I will be extremely organized for a while and then everything goes to he** for a while and then it starts all over again. Well, then again, I guess it is me and not the holidays that are to blame. Oh well, the blame has to go somewhere. We are in the "it's not my fault" age so I won't take the blame. That would be too responsible.

Resolutions

Might as well let someone else set my New Year's Resolutions for me. These might be some I can do. I can look for an octopus while diving in New Zealand. Might happen. I like traveling and who knows where I'll end up this year. #2 is very doable. I know I can keep that one. I have teenage boys; I live abnormal psychology. Get in shape with bowling? Only if I can use the bumpers.

Your New Year's Resolutions

1) Get a pet octopus 2) Eat more chocolate syrup 3) Travel to New Zealand 4) Study abnormal psychology 5) Get in shape with bowling

What Should Your New Year's resolution Be?

New Year Resolutions

Happy New Year Everyone! It's that time of year when we set ourselves up for failure by making resolutions that we know we have no intention of keeping. Yes, a lot of wishful thinking, but reality is we probably aren't going to change our habits overnight just because we have to start remembering what year to write. So, my new year resolutions are things I know I can keep.

1. I promise to exercise and diet tomorrow.
2. I will procrastinate.

More later. Maybe tomorrow.